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TWE053 我的一篇习作,麻烦大家帮忙看一下

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楼主
发表于 2006-9-1 22:23:00 | 只看该作者

TWE053 我的一篇习作,麻烦大家帮忙看一下

我再研习模版后的第一篇习作,严重超时,不过因为是没有算时间,主要是把前一阶段的所学用进去。这样的篇幅是不是太长了啊?大家多多提意见啊!谢啦!

053Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

There are some people who hold the opinion that the primary aspect of job is how much money they can make. At first thought, this may seem an attractive idea since the most direct purpose we go to work is to earn a living. Nevertheless, when carefully weighing in mind, we can definitely find some other factor which if not more vital, at least as crucial as the money that we earns . Hence, I don’t agree with the above statement and would like to reason and provide evidences to support my viewpoint.

 

No issue is more important today than the one that refers to a man’s interest., so important that people commonly share the belief which goes as interest is the best teacher. Only if you are  interested in what you are doing can you really do it well., and more meaningfully, can you feel virtual happiness. Most Scientists do the experiment for thousands of times not because they are eager of the money received from the patent or discovery., but because they have a passion in exploring the natural world. Likewise, My English teacher will probabaly get a more decent pay if she applies a job as a translator, yet she sticks to the profession for she likes the way when she is accompanied by lovely juveniles. Don’t you think these examples quoted above are very persuasive?

 

Ideal is another head and chief reason I have chosen to put here. the one that is probably the chief and ultimate goal of our life while money is merely what we use to satisfy our material needs. A man who has a firm and lofty ideal will surely make his lifetime more valuable both to himself and to the whole society. A graduate from a famous university in china gve up the working opportunity and high salary in big cities and went to the rural area to teach the uneducated children, holding a idea of improving the educational situation in the outlying area. Many other similar examples can easily be found in every parts of the world.

 

To sum up, no one will deny that money is one of the vital factor we take into consideration when we are choosing jobs, But it can hardly draw the conclusion that it is the most important proportion. Interst and ideal are also predomant for choosing a job and subsequently selecting your future career. For me, I will certainly alternate a job which is consistent with my goal. And I believe as long as I’m eager to do it and do it well, I can get a decent pay from it

 

 


[此贴子已经被作者于2006-9-1 22:31:36编辑过]
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2006-9-1 22:32:00 | 只看该作者
刚才字太小了,现在好了
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2006-9-2 17:48:00 | 只看该作者

大家有空帮改一下吧,提点建议也可以. 拜谢中……

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2006-9-20 19:28:00 | 只看该作者

大家帮忙改一下吧,看到后来者都有人改了, 提点一见吧

5#
发表于 2006-9-24 19:48:00 | 只看该作者
本來想改一下,不過句子實在太多非正式寫法,而且很多句子都讓我覺得awkward。我只看到第二段就沒看了。
6#
发表于 2006-9-27 05:30:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用maloney在2006-9-24 19:48:00的发言:
本來想改一下,不過句子實在太多非正式寫法,而且很多句子都讓我覺得awkward。我只看到第二段就沒看了。

严重同意!!! 是啊,没办法看! 还是先学习学习语法,写写简单句吧!

7#
 楼主| 发表于 2006-9-27 10:39:00 | 只看该作者

看了楼上两位的评论很受打击, 细看了一遍好象是有很多不通的句子,看来简单至上啊,以后不懂不乱用.能不能请楼上举几个例子,什么叫非正式语法?

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