issue第二篇，请大家拍砖！

gailmin

36题 写了45分钟 424words 看来速度还是有待提高

请大家多提提意见吧！

The issue of whether teamwork or individual’s energy plays a more important role in getting things done is so complex and controversial that different people may hold different opinions due to their respective angles. Some people emphasize the importance of working as a team, while others believe that it is the strong individual to get things done. As a matter of fact, there is no universal answer to this question and whether one choice takes precedence over the other would depend on specific situation. As far as I am concerned, I am inclined to support the idea that working as a team is more crucial for business and other organizations.

The first reason that can be presented to develop my position is that teamwork is usually more efficient and creative. When several persons are assigned to finish one task, they probably share their information and ideas to their partners to avoid wasting time in searching for the similar data. In addition, brilliant ideas are more likely to be developed in discussion. For instance, when a person is unfortunately down with a rare disease and usual treatment takes no effect, the hospital will invite some famous doctors specializing in the related fields to work together for a feasible treatment. Common sense tells us that the chances of working out an effective treating plan will be greatly enlarged in this situation because these experts will share their respective expertise. Therefore, a team is more likely to achieve a goal in with several persons’ effort.

Another reason for my view is that some tasks are getting more and more complex and they require knowledge of various disciplines. Nowadays the success for a new product needs the coordination of the research and development department, the marketing department and the accounting department. An individual, no matter how strong he is, is hard to cover the expertise in all these areas. The same situation can be found in scientific research, team sports and many other events. Hence it is difficult to get things done solely by an individual in current society.

Admittedly, individual effort plays an important part in some fields such as arts, writing and so on. But these cases are too rare and too specific to substantiate that individual energy can always lead to success. For business and other organizations, most jobs should be worked by a team instead of a person.

To sum up, taking all the abovementioned reasons into consideration, we may safely reach the conclusion that teamwork is more important for organizations than individual energy.

12345678lj

Don't you think your last paragraph is a bit of too short? Just one sentence is probably not a good ending. You must be start writing from the first paragraph to the last paragraph, am I right? May I suggest you to reconsider your writing order of the paragraphs?

gailmin

you mean that I should write the first and the last paragraph first, and write more sentences in the last paragraph?

12345678lj

Yeah, you are right.

fredcui

All in all, taking above mentioned reasons and considerations into account, I feel comfortable and sfely arrive at the conlusion that_____________, if we shed more light on __________ in terms of _______, the reason that why I partially agree with the speaker that______, therefore, is more easier to be undertand.

班门弄斧，别笑我

gailmin

不错啊~可惜我总记不住这么长的结尾。。。怎么办呢？