大家的Kellogg都没有消息, 心情难免受影响, 但是无论如何,还是把申请做完吧,现在Kellogg的Essay,有疑问,大家给点意见

discover

以下是引用superway在2005-12-19 12:23:00的发言：

#3 整体写。

#3 是要你从学校的角度来评估你的过去和未来并解答以下问题。

1，你的经验是否会使课堂答辩更精彩。

2，你是否认识你的过去并对未来有明确的目标。

3，MBA 是否能成为衔接你过去和未来的最好桥梁。

superway, 用哪个人称来写？

vickiyan

仔细审题：

essay 1# Briefly assess your career progress to date. Elaborate on your future career plans and your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at the Kellogg School. (one to two pages double-spaced)

这道题是每校必问的career goal题目。（1）Briefly assess your career progress to date.是简述目前的工作经历，要整体写，适当突出重要成就。（2）Elaborate on your future career plans. 仔细说说你未来的职业规划，包括short-term goal和long-term goal。（3）your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at the Kellogg School。就是why Kellogg.

essay3# You have been selected as a member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee. Please provide a brief evaluative assessment of your file. (one to two pages double-spaced)

是对你申请材料的全面评估，可以用第三人称。不但要评估工作方面的能力和经历，还要评估你其他文章体现的：ethical, personal, extracurricular, 并且结合学校自己的需求和申请标准: leadership, academic, personality, diversity, contribution等，说明你作为一个申请人，不但是qualified, 而且beyond expectation,我们要是录取你之后会对学校有多大的帮助等等。

不知道我这次说清楚了吗？

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-12-19 17:16:30编辑过]

ring_cheng

vicki MM的解释很详尽的说！

我在这里把KELLOGG的VIEWBOOK上的criteria for admission贴一下，以供写作参考：

In the selection process,the Admissions Committee evaluates the applicant’s scholastic ability,personal character,motivation,leadership ability,interpersonal skills,career performance and management potential.The Committee reviews the personalessays,academic record,GMAT score,Career Progress Surveys,résumé,evaluative interview report,and TOEFL (if applicable) toassess each applicant’s candidacy compared to the overall pool ofapplicants.The Committee highly values full-time professional experience.Work experience adds to maturity and career- and self-awareness,which contribute to a student’s success.The Committee seeks toevaluate an applicant’s potential through careful review ofexperience and accomplishments in work settings,includingmilitary service,and extracurricular activities.

另外再贴一篇该ESSAY的范文供大家参考：

You have been selected as a member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee.  lease provide a brief evaluative assessment of your file. (1-2 page double-spaced)

After reviewing Lin Pei-Yi's application file thoroughly, I find her to be one of the few rare students who stand out among Kellogg’s outstanding pool of applicants.  Lin's file presents an excellent MBA student profile and is a perfect fit for Kellogg's student body.   

Academically, Lin Pei-Yi has a high GPA, increasing every year, from 3.56 in her freshman year, to 3.75, 3.76, and a perfect 4.00 in her senior year, resulting in a 3.74 average.  She also scored a high TOEFL score 653 and a high GMAT score 680.  Although these scores are not a perfect indicator of a student's ability, they do provide a good preliminary screening and show Lin Pei-Yi's academic ability, both analytically and quantitatively.  Lin Pei-Yi‘s near perfect TOEFL and GMAT scores prove that she has a fluent command of English, a definite requirement for a successful student at Kellogg.

More importantly, Lin Pei-Yi not only performed well academically and received high TOEFL and GMAT scores, she also proved herself at work.  After Lin Pei-Yi graduated from laceName w:st="on">NationallaceName> laceName w:st="on">TaiwanlaceName> laceType w:st="on">UniversitylaceType>, she began her career in retailing business at ABC, the second largest retailer in Taiwan, where she was promoted three times in her first four years there.

She began from entry level and worked her way up the hierarchy.  In her employment, Lin Pei-Yi developed an impressive resume and acquired varieties of work experiences.  She has worked in both food and non-food sections, and has been in charge of marketing, promotion, human resources, merchandising, import/export, and negotiation.  

Lin Pei-Yi has developed a number of private label products from the beginning planning stage through the final advertising and promotion stage.  Her experience in training employees for the first ABC store in Shanghai proved her capable of motivating a team.  Lin Pei-Yi 's four years working at ABC, a multinational company has prepared her for the global business environment.  

Her work experiences and accomplishments have demonstrated her managerial and leadership potential as well as provided her with the necessary business knowledge for a successful and rewarding learning process at Kellogg.

On a more personal note, Lin Pei-Yi has a unique cultural background.  She was born in Taiwan but spent many of her summers attending camps in the US from age four to fourteen.  Lin Pei-Yi's childhood experiences have allowed her to develop the ability to adapt to new environments.  I believe she has learnt not to judge others on the superficial level and to appreciate individual differences.  Lin Pei-Yi's unique cultural background makes her a very interesting person.

Lin Pei-Yi's diverse experiences and pertinent business knowledge will benefit and enrich the Kellogg community.  She has developed global visions and is well informed of the world's fastest growing area, the Pacific-Asia region.  She is sure to contribute to the MBA community by offering valuable personal insights from her extensive experiences in retailing, especially in the merchandising area.  Lin Pei-Yi is a well-qualified applicant for the Kellogg School of Business.

discover

以下是引用vickiyan在2005-12-19 17:16:00的发言：

仔细审题：

essay 1# Briefly assess your career progress to date. Elaborate on your future career plans and your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at the Kellogg School. (one to two pages double-spaced)

这道题是每校必问的career goal题目。（1）Briefly assess your career progress to date.是简述目前的工作经历，要整体写，适当突出重要成就。（2）Elaborate on your future career plans. 仔细说说你未来的职业规划，包括short-term goal和long-term goal。（3）your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at the Kellogg School。就是why Kellogg.

essay3# You have been selected as a member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee. Please provide a brief evaluative assessment of your file. (one to two pages double-spaced)

是对你申请材料的全面评估，可以用第三人称。不但要评估工作方面的能力和经历，还要评估你其他文章体现的：ethical, personal, extracurricular, 并且结合学校自己的需求和申请标准: leadership, academic, personality, diversity, contribution等，说明你作为一个申请人，不但是qualified, 而且beyond expectation,我们要是录取你之后会对学校有多大的帮助等等。

不知道我这次说清楚了吗？

Viki MM, 比上次明白多了，但Essay 3为什么就不可以写一些其它essay 没有出现过的case呢？指点一下偶

discover

以下是引用ring_cheng在2005-12-19 19:43:00的发言：

vicki MM的解释很详尽的说！

我在这里把KELLOGG的VIEWBOOK上的criteria for admission贴一下，以供写作参考：

In the selection process,the Admissions Committee evaluates the applicant’s scholastic ability,personal character,motivation,leadership ability,interpersonal skills,career performance and management potential.The Committee reviews the personalessays,academic record,GMAT score,Career Progress Surveys,résumé,evaluative interview report,and TOEFL (if applicable) toassess each applicant’s candidacy compared to the overall pool ofapplicants.The Committee highly values full-time professional experience.Work experience adds to maturity and career- and self-awareness,which contribute to a student’s success.The Committee seeks toevaluate an applicant’s potential through careful review ofexperience and accomplishments in work settings,includingmilitary service,and extracurricular activities.

另外再贴一篇该ESSAY的范文供大家参考：

You have been selected as a member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee.  lease provide a brief evaluative assessment of your file. (1-2 page double-spaced)

After reviewing Lin Pei-Yi's application file thoroughly, I find her to be one of the few rare students who stand out among Kellogg’s outstanding pool of applicants.  Lin's file presents an excellent MBA student profile and is a perfect fit for Kellogg's student body.   

Academically, Lin Pei-Yi has a high GPA, increasing every year, from 3.56 in her freshman year, to 3.75, 3.76, and a perfect 4.00 in her senior year, resulting in a 3.74 average.  She also scored a high TOEFL score 653 and a high GMAT score 680.  Although these scores are not a perfect indicator of a student's ability, they do provide a good preliminary screening and show Lin Pei-Yi's academic ability, both analytically and quantitatively.  Lin Pei-Yi‘s near perfect TOEFL and GMAT scores prove that she has a fluent command of English, a definite requirement for a successful student at Kellogg.

More importantly, Lin Pei-Yi not only performed well academically and received high TOEFL and GMAT scores, she also proved herself at work.  After Lin Pei-Yi graduated from laceName w:st="on">NationallaceName> laceName w:st="on">TaiwanlaceName> laceType w:st="on">UniversitylaceType>, she began her career in retailing business at ABC, the second largest retailer in Taiwan, where she was promoted three times in her first four years there.

She began from entry level and worked her way up the hierarchy.  In her employment, Lin Pei-Yi developed an impressive resume and acquired varieties of work experiences.  She has worked in both food and non-food sections, and has been in charge of marketing, promotion, human resources, merchandising, import/export, and negotiation.  

Lin Pei-Yi has developed a number of private label products from the beginning planning stage through the final advertising and promotion stage.  Her experience in training employees for the first ABC store in Shanghai proved her capable of motivating a team.  Lin Pei-Yi 's four years working at ABC, a multinational company has prepared her for the global business environment.  

Her work experiences and accomplishments have demonstrated her managerial and leadership potential as well as provided her with the necessary business knowledge for a successful and rewarding learning process at Kellogg.

On a more personal note, Lin Pei-Yi has a unique cultural background.  She was born in Taiwan but spent many of her summers attending camps in the US from age four to fourteen.  Lin Pei-Yi's childhood experiences have allowed her to develop the ability to adapt to new environments.  I believe she has learnt not to judge others on the superficial level and to appreciate individual differences.  Lin Pei-Yi's unique cultural background makes her a very interesting person.

Lin Pei-Yi's diverse experiences and pertinent business knowledge will benefit and enrich the Kellogg community.  She has developed global visions and is well informed of the world's fastest growing area, the Pacific-Asia region.  She is sure to contribute to the MBA community by offering valuable personal insights from her extensive experiences in retailing, especially in the merchandising area.  Lin Pei-Yi is a well-qualified applicant for the Kellogg School of Business.

谢谢ring-ban的sample essay, 但我觉得这个sample essay 的水平一般，是Kellogg-admitted的学生吗？

ring-ban的sample essay,

vickiyan

以下是引用discover在2005-12-20 11:00:00的发言：


Viki MM, 比上次明白多了，但Essay 3为什么就不可以写一些其它essay 没有出现过的case呢？指点一下偶

我怕了你了...

先把偶名字拼对了中不？VICKI...

介倒霉孩咋！你是作为adcom的人来评估你啊，你不告诉adcom的人的事情，他怎么知道的捏？除非你说人家以前认识你，或者在看你材料的时候已经面试过了，面试的素材也许可以用用。（这恐怕有点编了，不要想象力那么丰富的说！）

kellogg有六篇文章，uniqueness和others都还可以衍生出好几方面的素材，有什么case非要放到evaluation这篇不可呢？

cicilla

第三人称吧？就是把你自己当作录取委员会的一个成员（主任也可以），目的就是好好的推荐一下discover这个申请人多么多么强，我们这个学校非他不要了。呵呵

wingback

应该用第三人称的。搜索一下jkmbe版主发的范文吧

KelloggMBA07

以下是引用eternalwind在2005-12-19 12:12:00的发言：

KELLOGG去年就招了4个, 3 个CONSULTING背景的

不建议非咨询背景的同学申请这个学校

Dear Eternalwind:

Don't know where you get this information.  Unfrotunately it is not true.  I am a first year Chinese student at Kellogg. And a far as I know, in the 2Y program, only 1 first year Chinese student worked in consulting.   The rest of us have very diverse background - consumer goods, healthcare, finance, technology etc.  Kellogg does not look to admit people from a specific industry.  Instead, it looks to admit accomplished candidates from various industries.  No matter which industry you are from, you have to show Adcome that you have what it takes to be successful in/after BSchool.

Visit us at Kellogg MBA panel and we are happy to answer any questions you have.  Good luck with all you applications.

[校友答疑] 2006 Kellogg MBA Pane
http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=13&ID=146890

cicilla

以下是引用KelloggMBA07在2005-12-21 10:39:00的发言：

Dear Eternalwind:

Don't know where you get this information.  Unfrotunately it is not true.  I am a first year Chinese student at Kellogg. And a far as I know, in the 2Y program, only 1 first year Chinese student worked in consulting.   The rest of us have very diverse background - consumer goods, healthcare, finance, technology etc.  Kellogg does not look to admit people from a specific industry.  Instead, it looks to admit accomplished candidates from various industries.  No matter which industry you are from, you have to show Adcome that you have what it takes to be successful in/after BSchool.

Visit us at Kellogg MBA panel and we are happy to answer any questions you have.  Good luck with all you applications.

Thanks Kellogg MBA07! Your clarification is very valuable for all potential Kellogg candidates.