刚写的作文。题库第一题。请大家狠狠地批判。

甘草子

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you thing people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

我的作文：

Nowadays, more and more people attend college or university. Some of them pretend to broaden their knowledge, some of them intend to get new experiences, and others may tend to prepare well for their future career. But as for my opinion, college or university can afford us more than that.

First of all, we attend college not only to increased our knowledge but also broaden our knowledge. That is, though we may choose one subject as our major, we really should learn information from other subjects. Do not limit yourself you may finally find the subject with which owns you to struggle for, to fight for, to devote yourself for.

Secondly, we can learn to communicate with other students. In modern society, team-work spirit is outlined to be considered as one of the most important advantages of an outstanding person. Do you want to be elected as a monitor or do you want to be given a hand on your study by your schoolmate. Then you must be well communicated with not only your classmates, but also your professors and other persons. The better communication you did, the easier you get things through. This principle is not only familiar with your school life but also can be used after you start your work.

Thirdly, attending to college can help us to make our life better. It’s a little earlier to start work just after you graduate from high school. Because at that age, people are to young to distinguish right from wrong. But once you attend the college, the more your learn, the more wisdom you get with which you can be more clearly realized what kind of person you want to be or what is exactly the best choice for you.

Above all, attending college can bring us more than new experiences, career preparation or knowledge increasing. It’s a light ,which lead us from darkness to brightness. It’s a boat, which carry us straight to our achievement. Therefore people should attend college.  

farsuccess

Nowadays, more and more people attend college or university. Some of them pretend to (为什么用这个词？意义不对.建议改成：maintain that higher education could) broaden their knowledge, some of them intend to get new experiences, and others may tend to prepare well for their future career.（你的这句话有严重的语法错误，头两句话之间是逗号，应当用连词连接） But as for my opinion （as for me ; in my opinion）, college or university can afford (offer) us more than that(those).

First of all, we attend college not only to increased(increase,不定式)our knowledge but also（to,因为这个结构要并列，前面不定式，后面也要） broaden our knowledge（这句话的意思好像是重复了，我认为，increase is the same to broaden here, so you should use deepen）. That is, though (although) we may choose one subject as our major, we really should learn information from other subjects. Do not limit yourself you may finally find the subject with which owns you to struggle for, to fight for, to devote yourself for (又是两句话没有连词，在同一句).

Secondly, we can learn to communicate with other students. In modern society, team-work spirit （team spirit） is outlined to be considered as one of the most important advantages of an outstanding person. Do you want to be elected as a monitor or do you want to be given a hand on your study by your schoolmate.(?) Then you must be well communicated (communicate)with not only your classmates, but also your professors and other persons. The better communication you did, the easier you get things through. This principle is not only familiar with your school life but also can be used after you start your work.

(感觉你的not only   but also 太多了，你可以换别的结构，要不太单调)

Thirdly, attending to college can help us to make our life better. It’s a little earlier to start work just after you graduate from high school. Because at that age, people are to （too） young to distinguish right from wrong. But once you attend the college, the more your learn, the more wisdom you get with which you can be more clearly realized what kind of person you want to be or what is exactly the best choice for you.

Above all, attending college can bring us more than new experiences, career preparation or knowledge increasing. It’s a light ,which lead us from darkness to brightness. It’s a boat, which carry us (head) straight to our achievement. Therefore (it is sagacious that) people should attend college

整体的语法错误不多，但是很严重，以后要注意;

结构要注意多样化。

甘草子

谢谢万分感谢