2020.8.25AWA作文机经题，求大牛评论一下作文

irene8989

本人9.8GMAT第一次考试，作文参考了许多大神的帖子后，刚刚写了第一篇，希望可以收获大牛们的评论和指导！

2020.8.25 AWA机经题：

A manager at an automobile and truck manufacturer says: In last month, gasoline prices have increased a lot. Usually customers are wary of purchasing larger automobiles due to the increasing gas prices. However, this time the prices are so high that many customers are even reluctant to buy fairly smaller cars. Recently, the research team in our company develop a new hybrid electric engine which can be more fuel-efficient. Thus, if we put most of our production into the new hybrid electric cars, we can make big money.

我的回答，求各位大佬评论指导一下我的作文，有啥说啥，万分感谢?：

In this argument, the manager concludes that the company can make a lot of money by manufacturing new hybrid electric cars that are fuel-efficent in order to regain customers who are wary of purchasing even small cars due to the high prices of gasoline. At first glance, the manager’s statement seems plausible; however, by closely scrutinizing the argument, a few concerns need to be addressed.

To begin with the gratuitous assumption that customer are wary of purchasing larger automobiles due to the increasing gas prices, the manager does not include any convincing data or survey to prove the relationship between the change in the customer’s purchasing behavior and the increasing prices of gasoline last month. It is possible that there are other reasons to explain the decrease in purchased larger automobiles. For instance, the parking fee for larger automobiles increased significantly last monthe and so potential purchaser of larger automobiles might quit and decide to wait for a period of time to complete the purchase.

In addition, the causal relationship between the high prices of gasoline and the purchase of smaller cars is doubtful as well. There is no evidence that shows the higher prices of gasoline will increase the customer’s reluctance to buy smaller cars. The manager needs to take other considerations into the context, such as the increasing taxes of smaller cars, higher parking fees for smaller cars, and economic downturns that make people want to save money rather than spending it.  

The manager makes an unconvincing claim that the new and more fuel-efficient hybrid electric engine will make big money for the company. On one hand, if the manager’s assumption that customers purchase less larger and smaller automobiles depends on the prices of gasoline is false, the new hybrid electric engine that serves to reduce the burden of the consumption of gasoline will not attract more customers to boost sales. On the other hand, even if the manager’s assumptions are grounded, the manager does not clearly state other types of costs such as labor costs, equipment fees, and research and innovation costs. These expenses might not enable the company to gain profit in the short term and even in the long term. The company had better taken a cost-benefit analysis to ensure the feasibility and profitability of this plan.

To sum up, the manager’s argument has several flaws, which lead to an ungrounded conclusion. If the manager could provide solid evidence of data or survey to prove that the higher the gasoline prices, the less the purchases of larger and smaller automobiles by customers, the plan will be more trustworthy to carry out.

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vivianddjd

语法不够好，可能用法没错，但是地球人不大可能这么说话的。一个是表示动作的地方用了名词，一个是从句用的太多影响可读性。