AA032,恍惚之间又完成了一篇argument

12345678912345

现在写argument都快上瘾了,方才看了看那个gamt的官方模拟软件,看看了作文的要求,interesting,有些作文的sample, 那个4分的作文刀很像是模板套出来的,特别是issue.不过有点心得就是before hold a pointview, we should explore the topic.

ont only list the example, but develop it.

或许大家都很明白了,但是我却觉得醍醐灌顶啊,嘻嘻.现在大家鉴赏一下我的argument哈哈,这些没有超过时间,但是最后剩余一点时间把它copy到word里面修改了,知道这样习惯不好,但是总算有所进步啦,不过字数不多,440来字,还好还好.请指教啦.

AA032 The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper.

“A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported

by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue

for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance

service.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

The author suggests hiring a commercial ambulance service instead of the volunteer service. He bases his argument on the ground that a recent review revealed that the volunteer ambulance responded to the accident more slowly than did the commercial ambulance. Furthermore, the author states another reason to support his recommendation, that is, to hire a commercial ambulance service will raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees. After careful reflection, I find this argument serious flawed in several aspects.

The most serious problem is that the author simply draws the conclusion that the volunteer ambulance service is less effective than the commercial one, since the former takes a longer time to respond to the accidents. However, as cited in the argument, the two ambulance services are located in the different places, one is in the East Cambria, and the other is in the West Cambria, thereby it is unfair to value the services between them by the criterion of response time to the accidents. It is possible that most accidents happened located more nearby to the commercial one, hence, it took the volunteer service much more time. Therefore, the author's evidence is not persuasive to conclude the volunteer ambulance service should be displaced.

Another problematic reason offered by the author is that to hire the commercial ambulance services will provide better patients care and can raise revenue for the town. However, there is no evidence shows that the commercial ambulance service will offer a better care for the patients. Even if it was the case that the commercial one responds to the accidents more quickly, it is not sufficient to demonstrate that it will definitely give the better care. It leaves out the possibility that in order to save time to arrive the accident spot, the service team failed to prepare the instruments carefully enough so that the victims may receive the care in time. What's more, to hire a commercial ambulance service and to collect service fees don't mean that it will raise the revenue for the town. Conversely, the residents in the town may encounter the decrease in their welfares due to the service fees. Therefore, what the author provide are not logically sound to support his argument.

To sum up, according to the reasoning above, the author's recommendation is unconvincing. To strengthen his argument, the author should demonstrate that the response time is not related to the location difference between those two services, and the commercial one can offer better service. It is also required that the author should offer solid evidence for the claim that the collection of the service fees will benefit the town at most.

judydongxueni

以下是引用12345678912345在2005-10-6 4:56:00的发言：

现在写argument都快上瘾了,方才看了看那个gamt的官方模拟软件,看看了作文的要求,interesting,有些作文的sample, 那个4分的作文刀很像是模板套出来的,特别是issue.不过有点心得就是before hold a pointview, we should explore the topic.

ont only list the example, but develop it.

或许大家都很明白了,但是我却觉得醍醐灌顶啊,嘻嘻.现在大家鉴赏一下我的argument哈哈,这些没有超过时间,但是最后剩余一点时间把它copy到word里面修改了,知道这样习惯不好,但是总算有所进步啦,不过字数不多,440来字,还好还好.请指教啦.

AA032 The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper.

“A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported

by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue

for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance

service.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

The author suggests hiring a commercial ambulance service 注意原文的说法啊，hire service感觉怪怪的instead of the volunteer service. He bases his argument on the ground that a recent review revealed that the volunteer ambulance responded to the accident more slowly than did the commercial ambulance. Furthermore, the author states another reason to support his recommendation, that is, to hire a commercial ambulance service will raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees. After careful reflection, I find this argument serious flawed in several aspects.

The most serious problem is that the author simply draws the conclusion that the volunteer ambulance service is less effective than the commercial one, since the former takes a longer time to respond to the accidents. 这句话不对啊。这么表达的话意思是因为前者比后者反应时间长所以作者的结论不对。However, as cited in the argument, the two ambulance services are located in the different places, one is in the East Cambria, and the other is in the West Cambria, thereby it is unfair to value the services between them by the criterion of response time to the accidents. It is possible that most accidents happened located more nearby to the commercial one, hence, it took the volunteer service much more time. Therefore, the author's evidence is not persuasive to conclude the volunteer ambulance service should be displaced.

Another problematic reason offered by the author is that to hire the commercial ambulance services will provide better patients care and can raise revenue for the town. However, there is no evidence shows 怎么可以有两个谓语？把这个改成showing吧？that the commercial ambulance service will offer a better care for the patients. Even if it was the case that the commercial one responds to the accidents more quickly, it is not sufficient to demonstrate that it will definitely give the better care. It leaves out the possibility that in order to save time to arrive the accident spot, the service team failed to prepare the instruments carefully enough so that the victims may receive the care in time. What's more, to hire a commercial ambulance service and to collect service fees don't mean that it will raise the revenue for the town. Conversely, the residents in the town may encounter the decrease in their welfares due to the service fees. Therefore, what the author provide are not logically sound to support his argument.

这个逻辑错误太长了把what is more 之后单独列成一段

To sum up, according to the reasoning above, the author's recommendation is unconvincing. To strengthen his argument, the author should demonstrate that the response time is not related to the location difference between those two services, and the commercial one can offer better service. It is also required that the author should offer solid evidence for the claim that the collection of the service fees will benefit the town at most.

呵呵以前的我也有看过，感觉有进步哦，继续看范文，把体会和大家分享哦。

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The most serious problem is that the author simply draws the conclusion that the volunteer ambulance service is less effective than the commercial one, since the former takes a longer time to respond to the accidents. 这句话不对啊。这么表达的话意思是因为前者比后者反应时间长所以作者的结论不对。

改一下,以免歧异The most serious problem is that since the former takes a longer time to respond to the accidentsthe , author simply draws the conclusion that the volunteer ambulance service is less effective than the commercial one.

judy阅文很是细致,不知道多少错误是可以容忍的,那个机器改卷知道哪些个错误呢?

judydongxueni

呵呵机器主要看转折词以及和高分作文的拟合度

12345678912345

那么高分作文是历史高分作文还是ets自己搞的一个所谓高分作文呢?

snowjing

好像是ETS历史高分作文, 800scores有相关描述.

mmfoolish

紧急求救：ETS历史高分作文

在那里可以找到？！急急急！！谢谢！

judydongxueni

这个应该没有吧？