我已经没有退路！只能考toefl,大家帮帮我！！

lucyyyh

以下是引用wch2001_akuan在2003-9-30 18:08:00的发言：

Nowadays, movies or televisions have influenced people's behavior drastically. How do they influence people's behaviour? Different people have different opinions. If I were faced with the issue, I would think they influence people's lifestyle, health.  I will list my reasons for the point of view.

个人感觉第一段有一些需要改动的地方.
Nowadays, movies or televisions have influenced people's behavior drastically. How do they influence people's behaviour?(behavior) Different people have different opinions. If I were faced with(faced) the issue, I would think they influence people's lifestyle, health.(lifestyle and health)  I will list my reasons for the point of view.

face 可以做vt.不需要被动语态.这个地方的虚拟语气是不是可以不用? 看看能不能这样写.
as far as I am concered, they influcence people's lifestlyes and health. My view will be supported by the following reasons.

lucyyyh

No issue is more important than the one that movies or televisions play an important role
(开头应该总起,点明是什么role,----people can relax themselves from watching mvoies )

in people's daily lives. In the modern society, people must do a lot of things. They must try their best to work and study for a better job in the future. And the task in people's shoulders is more and more heavy. The burdensome work and study call for relaxation in their spare time. Of course, there are many methods that people can choose to relax, for example people can walk ,play games or watch TV and so on. Maybe the direct way to
( such as walking, playing games or traveling. 可以提一些除了tv以外的方式. 这里用动名词要简洁些)

relax is to watch TV at home. As most people have television, it is very convenient to
                                      ( Because)                   (televisions)
watch program at home. What they need to do is to open the power and choose
         (programs)
channels. According to some statistic, most people watch TV everyday.So it is very
                                        (statistics)
obvious that television has become part of  people's lives.

Talking topic is another reason that  I have chosen to put here. Since most people watch
(你是想说谈论的话题吧? 只是这样表达不是佷清楚,可不可以说成 The other reason for me to choose the statement is that people can have more talking topics from watching movies or televisions)

TV everyday, the TV programs have become the main talking topics when they meet  others.They will exchange their views about some programs.

Finally, movies or televisions make people less active. Seeing movies or watching TV is a
(However, 感觉你这一段写的是缺点,那么应该用一个转折连词)
passive activity. If people watch too much, expecailly for those who are addicted to this activity, it will do harm to people's health physically and mentally. Watching too much TV at home will kill a lot of family time.

To sum up, although there are some disadvantages for movies or televisions, I think people can get  a lot of advantages for them . As an old proverb says:'everything has
                                                 (from)
two sides'. If people do not indulge in movies or televisions, those influences from them are good for people.

Wch2001_akuan MM真的佷棒,写了这么多的作文.加油,加油,XDJM们的好榜样!

lucyyyh

以下是引用morphias在2003-10-7 0:33:00的发言：
不过想请教一下,是不是每一段都有个引导词较好, 如first of all.

个人感觉是的.因为段落直接结构紧凑,给人感觉思路清晰.

wch2001_akuan

谢谢 lucyyyh, 我只是坚持每天都写一篇作文，按照radpassion的分类方法。
因为基础不好，所以很是心虚！

wch2001_akuan

(你是想说谈论的话题吧? 只是这样表达不是佷清楚,可不可以说成 The other reason for me to choose the statement is that people can have more talking topics from watching movies or televisions)

这样改是不是也还不错？
The other reason for me to choose the statement is that TV  or movies can provide some additional topics for communication among people and friends.

morphias

The other reason for me to choose the statement is that TV  or movies can provide some additional topics for communication among people and friends.

The other reason不如another reason吧. communication among people and friends, 怪怪的.

wch2001_akuan

topic 182: Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds,cats,or other animales as members of their family Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, there are many people have pets, and many treat their pets as members of family. Some people think that it is a good thing, but others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I believe that treating pets as members of family is beneficial to people. I will reasons as follows.

First of all, it is good for children. As we all know, children need someone to play with them, but adults may not have time to play with them. If there were pets, children could spend a lot of time with them , so children do not feel lonely even though their parents do not take care of them. And adults can have their own time to do what they need.

Seconly, it is good for adults. In this competitive society, the tasks in people's shoulder are more and more heavy, and people must try their best to study and work in order to find a better job in the future. The work is so hard that people need relax. If they have pets, they can talk to them, look them as persons and tell them what they care for. This will help people decrease their pressure and make a better mood.

Finally, it is good for old people, especially retired people. Young people may not have enough time to stay with old people as they must work for their lives. If they have pets and treat them as members of family, they will not feel lonely. They can talk a walk with pets and talk with them. Some pets like dogs also can be trained helper for people. For example, dogs can become the director of blind people.

Of course, I do not deny that pets can make trouble, for example , they may break vases or something. However, everygthing has two sides. The advantages that people can get from pets carry more weigh than those disadvantages.

To sum up, people can benefit from pets and they should take care of pets as members of family.

lucyyyh

嗯,这一篇从结构上来看好多了.

lucyyyh

Nowadays, there are many people have pets
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这句话不对. 出现了两个谓语,可以改成 There are many people who have pets or many people have pets. 显然后一句要简洁些.

I will reasons as follows
------------------------------------
这里reason如果是做v.应该用原型reason.  这种表达我见的不多.你再斟酌一下.

endlesswu

请问大家的topic 是从哪里找到的。谢谢！