请大家评分 多多指教！

del914

以前在国内是考的雅思，没有写托福作文的概念，现在过来后没有办法，只能硬着头皮上托福，还眼看着要改新题，郁闷！

写了一个很老的题目，旨在试手，望大家多多批评指正！

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times through their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, with rapid development of society, the population shift is a common phenomenon. Some people like stay in one place, in other hand, others like move frequent. Depending on my personal experience, personality and emotional concern, it is more advisable to choose moving in search of another place rather than staying in one place. I support this point follow these two main reasons.

The main reason for my propensity for moving frequently is that looking for new challenge in my life. I prefer active and challenging life to these insipid, thus, moving can provide a opportunity to me. In a new environment, I can learn many knowledge which I could not receive before, as well as ways to increase and improve my skills and independence. For instance, move to a new place, I should devoting oneself wholeheartedly, to get more useful information and experiences to myself. And that is why I like moving.

The second reason can be seen that I was willing to move many times is simply that I truly enjoy living in different place, being able to experience a new place, a different climate, and meeting new friends. I admit that moving is a very intimidating thing to many people, but to me it was always a fresh and welcome challenge and opportunity. In my view, one only needs to have an adventure spirit, and be adaptable and flexible, in order to make the most of experience.

In conclusion, for me, the rewards and benefits of moving far outweigh the disadvantages, especially I have a positive attitude. Consequently, it is sagacious to choose the statement that moving is better to stay in one place.

marinezheng

Nowadays, with rapid development of society, the population shift is a common phenomenon. Some people like stay in one place, in the other hand, others like move frequent. Depending on my personal experience, personality and emotional concern(there are difference between your personality and emothional concern, I feel they are same), it is more advisable to choose moving in search of another place(not sure whether have this use” move in search of ”) rather than staying in one place. I support this point- (for) - two main reasons.

                        

The main reason for my propensity for (two for) moving frequently (I would say: the main reason for my preference to move frequently) is -to look for new challenge in my life. I prefer active and challenging life to these insipid, and thus moving can providean opportunity to me. In a new environment, I can learn more knowledge which I could not receive before, as well as ways to increase and improve my skills and independence. For instance, when moving to a new place, I should devote oneself wholeheartedly, to get more useful information and experiences to myself. And that is why I like moving.

The second reason can be seen that I am willing to move many times is simply that I truly enjoy living in different place, being able to experience a new place, a different climate, and meeting new friends. I admit that moving is a very intimidating thing to many people, but to me it is always a fresh and welcome challenge and opportunity. In my view, one only needs to have an adventure spirit, and be adaptable and flexible, in order to make the most of experience.

In conclusion, for me, the rewards and benefits of moving far outweigh the disadvantages, especially I have a positive attitude. Consequently, it is sagacious to choose the statement that moving is better to stay in one place.

i think three reasons will be better, and pls make sure limit your grammar mistakes, i cannot show the change process on the above writing, but you can download the file below to find the amendment made.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-9-24 0:47:25编辑过]