TWE161 望大家给与批改 谢谢

lemonlime

这次还是超了2分钟才写完， 再加上检查总共40分钟写好。

TWE 161 People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why?

There are a lot of things rememberable to us. Among all of them, why people remember special gifts that they have received most deeply?  Do they come from any special people? Do the gifts have any special meaning? Do they represent any special days? From my point of view, those special gifts could answer all these questions with yes.

To begin with, the special gifts which people remember have a large percentage of chance that come from some special people who are important for the receivers. Special people could be the family members, friends, and teachers of the receiver. Having gifts from them will make the gifts mean more than only gifts. Those gifts may express the truly wishes from them to the receivers. So, the gifts may not really that special on price or appearance, but they have really special internal meaning which makes the gifts special.

Continuly, the gifts could be called special may slao because they have special meaning. A gift from someone always carries the best wishes which come from the giver to the receiver. For a travel, people receive gifts which mean safe. For a birthday party, people receive gigts which mean joy. Those gifts are remembered by their special desire.

Finally, the special gifts could represent some special days. People may sometimes forget their special days. However, a special gift may remind them the really meaning of those days. For example, hard working people always forget their birthday. But a birthday cake which appears on his or her desk will give a unique meaning more than just a cake. When that happens, the cake from those who care is especially  rememberable to the receiver.

Consequently, all the reasons for people remember special gifts that they have received could be sumed in one, the special meaning on which the gifts carry. A wish from heart is always more important than a expensive gift without content. Therefore, those gifts which are remembered by people have great desire and mean more than anything.

flowersforzoe

以下是引用lemonlime在2005-8-24 6:48:00的发言：Dmeaning? Do they represent any special days? From my point of view, those special gifts could answer all these questions with yes.

To begin with, the special gifts which people remember have a large percentage of chance (A fair proportion of the gifts )that come from some special people who are important for(to) the receivers. Special people could be the family members, friends, and teachers of the receiver. Having gifts from them will make the gifts mean more than only gifts. Those gifts may express the truly (true? sincere? )wishes from them to the receivers. So, the gifts may not really that special on price or appearance, but they have really special internal meaning which makes the gifts special.(Could SPECIAL be substituted with other words like: DISTINCTIVE /PARTICULAR)

Continuly, the gifts could be called special may slao because they have special meaning. A gift from someone always carries the best wishes which come from the giver to the receiver. For a travel, people receive gifts which mean safe. For a birthday party, people receive gigts which mean joy. Those gifts are remembered by their special desire(?).

Finally, the special gifts could represent some special days(Is OCCASIONS a bit better?). People may sometimes forget their special days. However, a special gift may remind them(OF) the really meaning of those days. For example, hard working people always(? NOT TRUE) forget their birthday. But a birthday cake which appears on his or her desk will give a unique meaning more than just a cake. When that happens, the cake from those who care is especially  rememberable to the receiver.

Consequently, all the reasons for people remember special gifts that they have received could be sumed in one, the special meaning on which the gifts carry. A wish from heart is always more important than a expensive gift without content. Therefore, those gifts which are remembered by people have great desire (What do you express by DESIRE?)and mean more than anything.

Dear Lemonlime,

This is a well organized essay but  lacks some vivid expressions. Besides, perhaps you repeated some points in disscussing gift givers and occasions.

GOOD LUCk.

Zoe