[求助]AI135，大家分析下吧

stateside

135.   428

“Although many people object to advertisements and solicitations (the practice or act or an instance of soliciting; especially: ENTREATY, IMPORTUNITY) that intrude into their lives through such means as the telephone, the Internet, and television, companies and organizations must have the right to contact potential customers and donors whenever and however they wish.”

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

The title statement asserts that government does not have the rights to prevent businesses from making advertisement and solicitations that may intrude into people’s lives. On the one hand, I agree with this viewpoint because companies should own rights to take some commercial actions. On the other hand, I believe that such rights should be limited and not only individual but also governments and companies themselves should take part in to restrict （想表达规范的意思，但不知道用什么词好）such actions.  74

In the first place, I believe that the companies should have freedom to make advertisements and solicitations as ways to enhance their competitive advantage, however, common people also should have freedom to choose what information they want to get and what they do not. For example, as we experience nowadays, when we use some software or some programs, we possibly are asked to choose what further information we would like to receive by the companies. This is a good way which is beneficial to both sides. First, the companies can let the customers know the information they could provide. In addition, costumer can decide what information they want to get.  110

On the second thought, I am also aware of that only the individuals and the companies can not make the situation perfect. Therefore, the participation of governments is significant. Because as profit-chasers, companies will intuitively take the actions, which can maximize their profits. At the same time, as independent individual in the market, common people can not have the power to influence the finally decisions of companies. In this case, the government should intervene to restrict the companies actions. By making laws and other rules, the government can pressure the companies to limit their actions. And facing the pressure from laws, the companies will surely decrease the harm they cause to common people.   113

Last but not least, by saying that government should take part in, I do not mean that the actions of government on this issue should be unrestricted. I should make it clear that only when the advertisements and solicitations harm the lives of people, government can take actions to limit them. Otherwise, government should give both the companies and the individuals freedoms to make the decisions.  66

In conclusion, this issues does not have a simple solution by deciding whether government should participate. However, it involve the three parts of the people, the companies and the government, generally the people and the companies can solve the problem, while when the lives of the people are intruded and harmed, it is sagacious for the government to restrict the companies while protect its people.   65

sacrati

The title （title 就不要了吧） statement asserts that government does not have the rights to prevent businesses from making advertisement and solicitations that may intrude into people’s lives. On the one hand, I agree with this viewpoint because companies should own rights to take some commercial actions. On the other hand, I believe that such rights should be limited and not only individual but also governments and companies themselves should take part in to restrict （想表达规范的意思，但不知道用什么词好）such actions.  regulate不知道你觉得如何呢？其实个人觉得restrict没什么不好，但是有个问题，take part in 加to这样用个人觉得不好，我好像没见过，可能是我才疏学浅。Anyway，这是个小问题。

个人觉得开头，你两边都同意的观点能不能浓缩成比较精炼的一两句话呢，然后放在on the one hand 的前面呢？这样是不是会好一点呢？

In the first place, I believe that the companies should have freedom to make advertisements and solicitations as ways to enhance their competitive advantage, however, common people also should have freedom to choose what information they want to get and what they do not. For example, as we experience nowadays, when we use some software or some programs, we possibly are asked to choose what further information we would like to receive by the companies. This is a good way which is beneficial to both sides. First, the companies can let the customers know the information they could provide. In addition, costumer (customers) can decide what information they want to get.  110

On the second thought, I am also aware of that (直接用be aware that，不要加of) only the individuals and the companies can not make the situation perfect. Therefore, the participation of governments is significant. Because as profit-chasers, companies will intuitively take the actions, which can maximize their profits. （Because就不要加了吧） At the same time, as independent individual in the market, common people can not have the power to influence the finally（final） decisions of companies. In this case, the government should intervene to restrict the companies actions. By making laws and other rules, the government can pressure the companies to limit their actions. And facing the pressure from laws, the companies will surely decrease the harm they cause to common people.   113

Last but not least, by saying that government should take part in, I do not mean that the actions of government on this issue should be unrestricted. I should make it clear that only when the advertisements and solicitations harm the lives of people, government can take actions to limit them.个人觉得这里用can不好，因为就算不是在你所说的这个when的时候，政府都是能够起限制的，而我觉得这里用适合，或者说恰当来代替can更好。 Otherwise, government should give both the companies and the individuals freedoms to make the decisions.  66

In conclusion, this issues（issue） does not have a simple solution by deciding whether government should participate. However, it involve the three parts of the people, the companies and the government, generally the people and the companies can solve the problem, while when the lives of the people are intruded and harmed, it is sagacious for the government to restrict the companies while protect its people.   最后一句干吗要用两个while，觉得后面那个while用的让我看不懂！65

个人觉得你中间段的后两段都是围绕着政府的行为展开，个人觉得因为本文题目并不是着重讨论政府应不应该起作用，而是business有没有权或者说应不应该做题目所说的事情，所以觉得你后两点可以融为一段来写，同时增加一段，讨论company或者individual，或者将你后两段，所说的会harm的情况单独列出来，形成一个观点，这样形成1、应该拥有这样权利 2、但是滥用可能造成伤害3、同时政府应当也采取适当措施 这样子的三段，你觉得如何呢？

还有就是一些用词，和一些语法错误，以及搭配，稍微注意一下就可以了。

以上纯属个人意见，不才，大家若还有其他建议，可以说阿。同时你也可以反驳我的看法阿！作文就是这样讨论出来的嘛！！！嘿嘿！ 好好努力啊！

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-8-14 10:08:21编辑过]

sacrati

这是有关这道题的题纲，你也可以参考一下。只是我奇怪，这明明是AI135，怎么会说是AI134？

你查一下吧，错了就把题号改一下吧

http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=26&ID=120157&page=1

stateside

谢谢啊，我查过题号了，我的书上（XDF写作教程）标的是134，gemj的作文224上题号也是134，应该不会错吧？

横竖撇捺

sacrati好样的！！