[TWE011] 请大家指教

hardier

第一次写T作文，花了一个多小时，还参照了李笑来的那本6分作文范文。写的不好，GGJJ们帮忙指点！多谢！

       The main function of a university is providing to students abundant materials to study with as well as excellent environment to study in. And library is an institution which carries out the functions. In order to represent the university’s responsibility of educating, comparatively more investment should be paid on the construction of libraries.

       As every student knows, reading textbooks that professors require is far from mastering a subject. Conversely, it demands sufficient information on the issue. Also, students should comprehend more up-to-date knowledge to make what they learned into utility. Those materials should be found in libraries. Meanwhile, as mentioned above, university libraries ought to supply learners with quiet and comfortable surroundings to work ----- personally, dorm, which is rather small and often noisy, is the last place I want to study in. Considering both the responsibilities of the university and the need of the students, university should construct libraries not only have plenty of books but also large enough to accommodate a number of students. Books in libraries must be reorganized regularly and updated in time, which means the university should invest long-term considerable money and people into the financing of libraries.

       On the other hand, the investment on sports activities can be comparatively low. Students pay rather less time on sports than learning, and they prefer developing activities themselves rather than by supporting from university. Also, the cost to maintain or fix sport facilities is cheap. After all, in campus, exercising is an entertainment or supplement of studying.

       Certainly, doing sports help students gain strong bodies, which is critical to their study. However, the most important mission of a university is to support its students on knowledge, so it should finance libraries more than sports activities.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-8-4 9:18:23编辑过]

hardier

今天修改了一下，希望大家帮忙看看，谢谢！

Should universities finance students’ sports activities equally as libraries?

       The main function of a university is providing students with abundant materials to study as well as excellent environment to study in. And library is an institution which carries out the functions. In order to represent the university’s responsibility of educating, comparatively more investment should be paid on the construction of libraries.

       As every student knows, reading textbooks that professors require is far from mastering a subject. Conversely, it demands sufficient information on the topic. Also, students should comprehend more up-to-date knowledge to make what they learned into utility. Those materials should be found in libraries. Meanwhile, as mentioned above, university libraries ought to supply learners with quiet and comfortable surroundings to work. Personally, dorm, which is rather small and often noisy, is the last place I want to study in. Considering both the responsibilities of the university and the need of the students, libraries that have not only plenty of books but also large space for studying should be built. A comprehensive library can offer services such as computerized searching, regularly reorganizing of books and updating in time. All those require university to put into long-term considerable money and energy.

       On the other hand, the investment on sports activities can be comparatively low. Students pay rather less time on sports than learning, and they prefer developing activities themselves to being supported by university. Also, the cost to maintain or fix sport facilities is relatively low. After all, in campus, exercising is an entertainment or supplement of studying.

       Certainly, doing sports help students gain strong bodies, which is critical to their study. However, the most important mission of a university is to support its students on knowledge, so more investment should be financed on libraries.

pumpkin

My suggestion, to read some 5-6 score articles and then come back to your sample here. I am afraid that your sample here is not well-structured.

You will find the difference and make a better one.

Good luck

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-8-5 11:32:31编辑过]