TWE123望各位牛牛指导修改下作文

bomber_zhao

Topic 123: Some people choose friends who are different from themselves. Others choose friends who are similar to themselves. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which kind of friend do you prefer for yourself? Why?

Friends are the most important parts (Friendship is the most important part) of the life. In their whole life, people cannot live without friends. Some people choose friends who ate different from themselves. But others choose friends who ate similar to themselves. Each choice possesses its own advantages and disadvantage, too.

       The advantages of having different friends are obvious. First of all, people choosing a friend who is so unlike them can experience the diversity of thinking. They can communicate their diverse feeling about one thing and study other’s ways of thinking to help them improvements (improve). In addition, people make a different friend (diverse friends can teach one) can study how to communicate with different dissimilar people.

       In the other hand, there are some advantages of making similar friends. One of these advantages is that people can precisely and easily communicate with similar friends because they have the same characters, tempers, senses and so forth. In this environment of communication, it is too (very) difficult to quarrel because they completely know understand with each other.

       For me, I prefer to make friends who are different from me. I can gain diverse experiences and the ways of thinking from my friends. I think that is more benefit(ial) for me. In this process, I will be familiar with how to communicate with different people.

       From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the two styles of friend have its own advantages. So people should try their best to own many of these two kinds of friend. If one person can only make one kind of these two friends, I prefer to choose the different friends.

         

此篇作文我已经修改过一次,但不甚满意,望各位牛牛给指点指点

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-8-9 1:12:20编辑过]

marinezheng

Friends are the most important parts (Friendship is the most important part) of the life. In their whole life, people cannot live without friends. Some people choose friends who ate different from themselves. But others choose friends who ate（两个句式完全一样，可以将第二个who are 去掉） similar to themselves. Each choice possesses its own advantages and disadvantage, too.不需要．

注意开头不需要空格，各段之间空一行The advantages of having different friends are obvious. First of all, people choosing a friend who is so unlike them（themselves） can experience the diversity of thinking. They can communicate their diverse feeling about one thing and study other’s ways of thinking to help them improvements (improve). In addition, people make a different friend (diverse friends can teach one) can study how to communicate with different dissimilar people.

       In the other hand, there are some advantages of making similar friends. One of these advantages is that people can precisely and easily communicate with similar friends because they have the same characters, tempers, senses and so forth. In this environment of communication, it is too (very) difficult to quarrel because they completely know understand with each other.

       For me, I prefer to make friends who are different from me. I can gain diverse experiences and the ways of thinking from my friends. I think that is more benefit(ial) for me. In this process, I will be familiar with how to communicate with different people.(这段不充分，太单薄了)

       From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that the two styles of friend have its own advantages. So people should try their best to own（感觉own 有自己占有的意思，认为have好） many of these two kinds of friend（太罗嗦了friends of two kinds）. If one person can only make one kind of these two friends, I prefer to choose the different friends.

总体感觉语言不是很好，不连贯，需多练

如有不妥请指正

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-31 18:29:51编辑过]

bomber_zhao

thanks a lot~

是不是语言太平淡了~~那需要怎么改进

如果要把一个论点论述充分,一般都用些什么方法呢?

希望各位牛牛再度指点迷津