[新人求助]TWE166，请各位帮忙看一下

Sleepingsheep

马上要考试了可是作文的练习才刚刚开始看了一些范文和模板以后随便拿了一个题目来练习一下，不知道怎么样呢？我觉得自己在一些词汇方面好像还很有问题，只会用简单的词语^_^请教各位高人，在此先谢谢了。

Topic166

       It is true that people a person who reaches eighteen years old is an adult. However, I think that the differences between a child and an adult should be recognized by three events, that is, graduating from the high school, living independently and having a part-time or full-time job. My reasons go as follows.

      

       In the first place, I believe that graduating from the high school could be a symbol of an adult. After graduating, some students decide to work immediately to earn money and feed themselves. Other students would like to spend a few years in the university where they make decision on course selections, study alone to obtain a lot of complex knowledge and prepare for their future occupations. Either working in the society or studying in the university, people become independent. Therefore, finishing the high school indicates the maturity of a person.

      

       Second of all, live alone could be another aspect of being an adult. Numerous facts prove that. For instance, my cousin, who is a high school student, moves out of her home and rents an apartment near her school. She must take care of the apartment, get along with her roommate and negotiate the problems occur in the daily life. She obtains a lot of useful experience and becomes very responsible. In my view she is a real adult despite her age.

      

       Last but not least, a part-time or full-time job indicates the difference between a child and an adult. A job provides an independent finance and money is certainly the most important aspect in the life of a person. I am convinced that when a person has a job, he would experience the hardness of making money and have a good understanding of the society by talking and cooperating with different people. As a result, he will manage his money well since he is independent on finance and respects people around. These are essential qualities of an adult.

      

       In summary, based on the three aspects that I presented, I strongly believe that when a person finishes his high school, leaves his parents or gain financial independence, undoubtedly, he is eligible to be an adult.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-7-22 2:48:07编辑过]

connee

祝MM考个好成绩呀, 字数会不会少?

Sleepingsheep

我数一下是360个，应该够了吧

Sleepingsheep

不知道这个样子大概有几分呢？一点概念都没有的说。

静女狂

巫~~~MM好有感应啊~~~我今天刚去考的就是这篇啊~~~~~~~~~可惜我准备不够充分,竟然考前都没有看到这篇,幸好还完成了~不过完全不是牛人,就不对文章做评价了,MM也学过5段论的模式哦!呵呵,还是牛人来评价吧~祝取得好成绩~