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twe125,第一篇习作,请多指教!

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楼主
发表于 2005-6-14 14:14:00 | 只看该作者

twe125,第一篇习作,请多指教!

这种水平能得几分?如果魔板打完后,内容没写完,分数怎么评?不好意思!



125 All students should be required to study art and music in  secondary school.



This is a controversial issue about whether all students should study art and music in secondary school.Nowadays, some may hold the opinion taht students need to learn art and music courses in high school. But others have a negative attitude. The choice, nevertheless, is not easy to make.However, as far as I am concerned, I will agree that we ought to require all students to study art and music before they go to the college.



The essensial reason can be seen by everyone is that art and music make students enjoy the life better.Because of the high competiton,students have great pressure in their study life. Art and music can help them to relax. For example,students can listen the favorite music when they fail in the exam.May be their mood will change better.In short, even though there are many different views concerning this topic, I also believe that


students should study art and music in secondary school.



Another reason of my propensity is that students will learn further knowledges in art and music classes. In modern society, People have to gain informations constantly in order to have a bright future.For instance,if a student is adept at art or music, he may posses more chances to get in a famous college. Therefore, no one could deny the fact that students need to study art and music in high school .



Although I admit that there may be a couple of disadvantages of studying art and music in school.I feel that the advantages are more obvious. Such as students can make many friends who have similar interests with theirs.



In conclusion, taking into account all these factors, to be frank, I am strongly committed the notion that all students should be ask for studying art and music in secondary school.


沙发
发表于 2005-6-14 22:34:00 | 只看该作者

这篇文章结构完整,语言平顺,有观点,也有例子,只是内容单薄了点,字数少了点。相信楼主只要多加练习,在谴词造句上下点功夫,是很有可能冲上5分的。


关于只有模板而内容没写完的问题,如果没有出现半截句,应该不会有致命的影响。

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-6-15 00:45:00 | 只看该作者
谢谢斑竹的鼓励!
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