AI056 请大家评点judy修改标题见谅

littlewoman

看到大家都把自己的作文让大家评点。思考了良久，我觉得我也应该抛下羞愧和丢丑心理，让大家评价一下。请大家不吝指教。

056——“The secret of business is
to know something that nobody else knows.”



我的作文：

Is the secret of business to grasp
something that no body else knows? This issue is a quite intriguing and broadly
debated one that has attracted many concerns. Opponents of this claim might
contend that other factors such as singular human resources, product quality
are more important to the success of business. At the first glance, the
position of these opponents is reasonable and sound. Nevertheless, as to me, I
would agree with the speaker's assertion that the secret of business success is
to know something special that others don't know. In the following discussion,
I would like to present several reasons to support my view point.

In the first place, to know something that
nobody else knows is to make a business more competitive. A particular example
of this reason is the success of HP, inc. which is most successful for its high
quality printers. At the incipient development of printers, only this company
grasps the advanced technology to produce true color printer. And as a result,
the secret of this technique won the company competitive advantages against
other producers. No better examples can be found to support the speaker's stand
view. Furthermore, knowing the consumers' preference through a secret survey
can also improve the competition of a business. To illustrate this, we can see
another instance of the Chinese Cola produced by Wahaha, a Chinese private
company. In order to decide whether to produce Cola in China to compete against
Coca Cola, this company made a survey in the rural area in China, drawing the
conclusion that if the price can be lower than that of Coca Cola many farmers
would prefer by Chinese Cola. That is because a good taste is not the primary
concern for these farmers.

In the second place, knowing something that
others don't know tends to improve the reputation of a business. Owing a
special resource is always favored by many financial analysts, consultants, and
shareholders. They usually think the business secret as something difficult to obtain
thus may regard the company as having more developing potentials than other ones.
With a high reputation, its stock price would probably increase, its consumers
would possibly reciprocate and its suppliers employees would be motivated and
feel proud.

Admittedly, it is true that other factors
such as product quality and human resources might play roles. But we should not
forget that high product quality and capable employees are the exactly results
of the business secrets. Thus these factors cannot constitute enough objections
to my point of view.  

In conclusion, from the above-discussed
aspects, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is definitely true that the
secret to success is to know something that no others know.

字数448

明显感觉时间不够，最后两段很短

有打字错误，大约有10个左右，都没有时间检查，不过在贴上之前已经基本更正过了

还有三处语法错误在word里面已经被我更正

例子大家不要相信，基本上是半真实半加工的。写的时候时间紧张，没有再三考虑的余地啦



多多指教！！

littlewoman

怎么贴上后段落之间这么多空间，大家不要嫌烦
还有，引用别人的帖子并且在上面编辑怎么弄的，我好像一直没找到这个功能如何用耶。很傻吧，呵呵

judy JJ 请一定要给我提出意见哦

judydongxueni

我多半不是JJ而是MM，呵呵。每个帖子上面偏右的地方都有一个引用的键子，点了就可以引用了。至于编辑就是发贴的时候界面上有一个A还有笔和橡皮什么的呵呵。其实偶是一个SOPHOMORE ，大家不要再叫我nn或者jj了，还有您这种称呼怕死人了呵呵。

judydongxueni

以下是引用littlewoman在2005-5-21 14:11:00的发言：
看到大家都把自己的作文让大家评点。思考了良久，我觉得我也应该抛下羞愧和丢丑心理，让大家评价一下。请大家不吝指教。

056——“The secret of business is
to know something that nobody else knows.”



我的作文：

Is the secret of business to grasp
something that no body else knows? This issue is a quite intriguing and broadly
debated one that has attracted many concerns. Opponents of this claim might
contend that other factors such as singular human resources, product quality
are more important to the success of business. At the first glance, the
position of these opponents is reasonable and sound. Nevertheless, as to me, I
would agree with the speaker's assertion that the secret of business success is
to know something special that others don't know. In the following discussion,
I would like to present several reasons to support my view point.

In the first place, to know something that
nobody else knows is to make a business more competitive. A particular example

can 或者是to make  a business more competitive is to ...但是前者似乎更好 原来那么说个人认为不大对

of this reason is the success of HP, inc. which is most successful for its high
quality printers.   

the most successful products of which are high quality printers.

At the incipient development of printers, only this company
grasps the advanced technology to produce true color printer. And as a result,
the secret of this technique won the company competitive advantages against
other producers. No better examples can be found to support the speaker's stand
view. Furthermore, knowing the consumers' preference through a secret survey
can also improve the competition of a business. To illustrate this, we can see
another instance of the Chinese Cola produced by Wahaha, a Chinese private
company. In order to decide whether to produce Cola in China to compete against
Coca Cola, this company made a survey in the rural area in China, drawing the
conclusion that if the price can be lower than that of Coca Cola many farmers
would prefer by Chinese Cola. That is because a good taste is not the primary

去掉
concern for these farmers.

In the second place, knowing something that
others don't know tends to improve the reputation of a business. Owing a
special resource is always favored by many financial analysts, consultants, and
shareholders.

这个不是反方观点吗？可不可以改成unique patented technique

They usually think the business secret as something difficult to obtain
thus may regard the company as having more developing potentials than other ones.
With a high reputation, its stock price would probably increase, its consumers
would possibly reciprocate and its suppliers employees would be motivated and
feel proud.

Admittedly, it is true that other factors
such as product quality and human resources might play roles. But we should not
forget that high product quality and capable employees are the exactly results
of the business secrets. Thus these factors cannot constitute enough objections
to my point of view.  

In conclusion, from the above-discussed
aspects, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is definitely true that the
secret to success is to know something that no others know.

字数448

明显感觉时间不够，最后两段很短

有打字错误，大约有10个左右，都没有时间检查，不过在贴上之前已经基本更正过了

还有三处语法错误在word里面已经被我更正

例子大家不要相信，基本上是半真实半加工的。写的时候时间紧张，没有再三考虑的余地啦



多多指教！！

真的挺不错的呀。而且littlewomanJJ已经具有了极强的自检能力。建议别的XDJM把文章贴上来的时候也说说自己的认识。

呵呵其实只是时间没有安排好了，就象你自己说的。有点头重脚轻。第二段举一个例子就好了。后面三段分别长一点。

具体就是在落笔之前或者写提纲之前心里有个大概的比例不管是时间还是字数的分配都是如此。这样才不会前松后紧。真的很不错了呵呵。

littlewoman

多谢！！
judy mm才大二，更让我自惭形秽了

judydongxueni

我们CD人都很优秀，JJ也不要妄自菲薄，相互学习呵呵。

ethyl

哪里有互相叫姐姐的嘛？

哈哈