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继续战斗,请指点twe005

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发表于 2005-5-21 00:43:00 | 显示全部楼层

继续战斗,请指点twe005

005. A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. (0105)


    Once here comes the announcement that a large factroy is likely to be built near my community, there will be a choice coming along. As far as I am concerned, its advantages carry more weights than disadvantages.


    It is true that a large factory may arouse several troubles and unconveniece around the community. Take noises as an example:the running of the factory may bring unhappy noises which more or less interupt people’s daily life, especially during the noon and midnight, if controled unproperly. Also the air and plants nearby may be infulunced by the exhausts. Nevertheless, under appropriate management and control, most of problems related to those mentioned above can be reduced, or even eliminated by today’s advanced technology.


    Since those potential problems can be solved, the benefits of building the factory appear more obviously. One of the main advantages of this project is the enlargement of the local employment. Once the factory starts running, it will provide lots of jobs which require skills varied from the gatekeeper to engeneers to local labor market. This is the precious opportunities for local people to get employed and obtain new skills.Thus the ecnomic pressure of the government will be released to some degree.


    Meanwhile, another advantage lies in the promotion of local commerce. As the development of the factory, more public facilities around it are needed, accompanyed with small business and life services as well. Maybe a grocery appearing at first will grow to a large scale commercial hall in order to satify the demands of staffs of the factory. The commercial hall will certainly bring considerable income for local economy as well as conveniences for community lives.


    Taking all aspects effects into consideration, the overall advantages brought by the large factory stand more obviously than disadvantates, and even the benefits brought by the factory can be used to prevent and deminish the harms potentially. From this view of point, building the large factory is a valuable opportunity for my commnity.

发表于 2005-5-21 00:56:00 | 显示全部楼层

写的好,至少5分。提两个建议:

1,第二段改为倒数第二段,因为你总论点要说优点,可是分论点开始就说缺点(哪怕你说这些问题可以解决)不太好。

2,少数句子不太利索。

 楼主| 发表于 2005-5-21 07:55:00 | 显示全部楼层

看来实践证明,对我来说,原创好过模板....

那些不利索得句子都是为了凑字数..看来过犹不及啦~

我还会继续贴作文得,谢谢继续捧场提意见啦~

发表于 2005-5-21 22:59:00 | 显示全部楼层

写的不错, 顶!!!

 楼主| 发表于 2005-5-23 07:28:00 | 显示全部楼层
呵呵!!谢谢鼓励哦!初上论坛,就收到大家的鼓励,好感动的~·
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