AWA 5分怎样提高

liang93823

求大神帮助：

刚刚三十分钟写完的GMAT write：
Read the argument and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response in the box at the bottom of the screen.

The following appeared in an Excelsior Company memorandum.

The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


作文：

    Excelsior company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee in the future. Since coffee is relatively expensive and many brands are already established, the author concludes that Excelsior needs to follow the strategy of Superior, namely, offering free samples, reducing prices and distributing coupons. Although the argument is plausible, its line of reasoning is problematic in two crucial aspects.

    First, the author fails to demonstrate how the two facts listed in the argument, relatively high price of coffee and numerous competing brands, affect the company's approach to gain the market. Without a clear connection, assertion that the best way to gain customers is to follow what Superior did is not convincing. In addition, the facts cited as premises in the argument are not sufficient to substantiate the argument because many other factors may affect the decision of what strategy to adopt. For instance, if the market is large enough, Excelsior may gain market easily despite the existing firms.

   Second, the author assumes that the past strategy still works in the current market without providing any evidence. However, this assumption is likely to be false since market could change in these years. Therefore, what Superior did can not be directly appied to Excelsior company without a careful evaluation. Moreover, these two companies could be different in many aspects. For example, when Superior adopted such strategy, its size may be larger than Excelsior. Thus, it had the enough money which Excelsior may not have to carry out such promotion. Thus, the argument is highly questionable.

    In conclusion, the argument is poorly founded and unconvincing. The author fails to elaborate how the premises used in the argument contributes to the conclusion. The author alo does not explain why the past strategy is applicable to the current situation. To strengthen the argument, the author needs to explain how these two companies are similar in nature thoroughly and also how the facts cited helps explain that such strategy is the best choice.


Score

         

Total Score 5

Analyzes the issue 5

Supports ideas 4

Organizes a coherent idea 5

Language control 5

Supports idea是神马意思啊? 文中举例不算support吗，要怎样提高呢？