恳请高手修改托福作文一篇

RUANLEI123

With the development of education, vast changes await this country’s society. Colleges and universities, which are places to further people’s study, appear to attract an increasingly number of students to attend. But people don’t do things without any reason, the reason why people should attend college or university remains to be discussed. In this essay, I will give my reason and some examples.

Firstly, there is no doubt that going to college or university lets you gain more knowledge, which is more specialized comparing to what people learned in high school. For example, the knowledge people got from the past several years which are called compulsory education is kind of common knowledge, which only support people to live in the society, not contribute to it. On the other hand, if people attend college or university, the professional knowledge is available. Obviously, all the analysis leads to an undoubted conclusion that people are able to study new knowledge if they attend college or university.

Secondly, after attending college, people establish more contact with the outer world to some extent. Our society is filled with the example of this. Studying hard to get a great grade would never be the students’ target as it was when they were in high school. Mary, one of my friends told me her feeling about attending college, she said that her world started to be quite different when she going to college, she can do what she really want to do, such as setting up a ban and taking a round-the-country trip with her friends, which was thought a waste of time or dangerousness when she was young. It’s the freedom I’ve never thought of! She said with a smile. Also, she practices in a company at the same time. So it’s quite clear that people studying in college studies not only knowledge, but also the experience of life as an adult.

Thirdly, when it comes to what we can obtain from college or university, the most essential one must be friends. My mother told me that her friends who are still keeping in contact now were made in college. She gave me two reasons why it’s the college students, not the friends she made before or the co-workers after that becomes her good friends. She had built her own philosophy of life since she graduated from college, so the friends she made in college were those who had the same attitude towards life with her. The second reason is that they were professional in the same field, which means they would still be related to one another after graduated. As a result, the friends people make in college will be the friends in their whole life.

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that it’s the knowledge, experience and friends that attract so many people to attend college or university.

guella

The society is facing more and more changes during the rapid development of education. Nowadays, a large number of people want to attend college and university to get further study. There are good reasons for them to do that. This is what I’m going to discuss.

First, there is no doubt that at college or university you may gain more knowledge and skills. Compared to what you have learned in high school, those are surely more advanced and specially used. High school education is compulsive to everyone and may only offer some kinds of techniques just to  help one make a living. It is not enough if you want to contribute a lot more to our society. Therefore, more people choose to attend college to get advanced education and opportunities. This is the main reason I think.

Second, we can widen our horizon and get to know more excellent people at college or university. A high score doesn’t mean everything and is not as important as in high school. There are also something worthy to do and that may bring us lots of fun and valuable experiences.

Mary, one of my friends, told me her story at college. She said that her world became quite different when she got into the college. She could try everything she likes. For example, to set up a team and take a round-the-country trip. It is thought as a waste of time and is very dangerous in the past. How exciting and imaginable! She told me in smiling. Besides, she took a part-time job in a company. It is quite obvious that people study in college could obtain not only knowledge, but also the experiences that would greatly benefit them later.

Third, it is very important that we can make our friends at college. Some of them have similar interest with us and we can help each other in academic major. For example, my mother keeps in touch with her friends, and most of them are her classmates at college. There are two reasons why her close friends were those she made at college instead of at workplace. One is that usually person build his views and philosophy at college and most likely to be influenced by those who are sharing the same attitude towards life. The second reason is that they are working in the same field, doing similar jobs. This would provide them more chances to communicate with each other. it is naturally that the friendship with a college classmate will last for ever.

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that people who attend to a college or university could get better education, as well as good experiences and make more friends. These are the good reasons for their choices.

RUANLEI123

thanks for your help! i've learned a lot from you.

lgtt99

THX！