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一个月后就要杀狗了~现在开始准备作文~一篇文章希望论坛里的学友们可以帮忙看一下

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楼主
发表于 2015-10-17 11:58:16 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
一个月后就要杀狗了~现在开始准备作文~一篇文章希望论坛里的学友们可以帮忙看一下,是OG原题,想让大概看看还有哪里需要改进,因为想将精力投入到Verbal里,所以这两天看了看作文,如果没什么大问题打算就先放一边
希望大家能给中肯的评价,这几个礼拜也经常逛CD,感觉学到了很多,先谢谢学友么啦!!!

题目:The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
"This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 Waymarsh students evidently weren't so concerned about their education: they either stayed on
campus or left for winter break. Since the group who did not protest is far more numerous, it is more representative of the state's college students than are the protesters. Therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students."
Discuss how well reasoned ... Etc

In this argument, the author reaches the conclusion that the state legislature should ignore the protesting student and continue to implement the plan of cutting down the funds for various state college programs. Supporting this conclusion are several plausible reasons. This past winter, most of the students, up to 12,000, did not take part in the protest activity and thus they are more representative of the will of the state’s college students. Admittedly, this reasoning seems reveals a possibility. Nevertheless, it is unacceptable to embrace the credibility of this argument after careful scrutiny.
To begin with, the fact that the other 12,000 Waymarsh students did not show up in the protest activity does not mean that they were not so concerned about their education. The author uses the correlation between the appearance of the students and their attitude towards this policy to establish the causality. But this is a fallacious reasoning unless other possible casual explanations have been considered. For example, students have the right to enjoy the winter break and some of them may already have plans for the holiday. There is also a possibility that
substantial numbers of the students are too shy to join the army of protesting or afraid of punishment resulted from this activity.
Another problem with this reasoning is that Waymarsh State College’ students are not representative of all the state’s college students. The evidence author provides is insufficient to draw the conclusion that most of the state’s college students are for the government’s decision. It is likely that Waymarsh State College did not benefit a lot from the funds for state college programs and the influence of cutting down the funds is not important. In fact, in face of the limited evidence, the conclusion is completely unwarranted.
Last but not the least, the argument can be easily undermined if the author only draws the conclusion through the number of the students taking part in this activity. It is possible that these 200 students are the representatives of their college and the other students chose to back up  them for the sake of safety of this city.
To sum up, without considering and ruling out all of these and other possibilities, the credibility of this conclusion that state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students is open to call into question. If the author could provide larger samples of the will of students, or take into other issues discussed above, the argument will be more thorough and convincing.
       

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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2015-10-19 22:02:23 | 只看该作者
顶上去~
板凳
发表于 2015-11-16 08:54:57 | 只看该作者
哈哈看到了我的模板的影子
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2015-11-22 21:09:52 | 只看该作者
rexinshu 发表于 2015-11-16 08:54
哈哈看到了我的模板的影子

哈哈对啊对啊~好眼力~都是靠CD的学友们来支持我度过每一天的啊。。~
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