Echo作文贴~请大家多多指教！

sweetyecho

3.18 独立    For a business to be successful, more money must be put in advertising.

With society developing fast, a growing number of people began to pursuit the success in money. Those businessmen all resorted to an evident method--advertisement without hesitation in order to expand their shares in the market, giving rise to the expansion of advertisements in various mediums. Well, whether more money invested into advertising benefits any kinds of business aroused much public attention.

To some extent, the issue is reasonable, because a large quantity of advertisements can make people know about the products and then have the desire to purchase them. Take Ford as an example.The time when Ford rises is not so rich and people couldn’t afford a car. One day, a wise idea struck Ford’s mind: advertisements that intended to emphasize the car is affordable can release people’s worries and inspire them to buy his products. The result is that when this advertisement was broadcasted, Ford soon started a brand-new era. As we can see, in this case, advertisements played an important role in the promotion of cars. However, does every business can rely on advertisements to achieve success? The answer is definitely no. The success in Ford can only prove that their advertisements were used in a right way.

First of all, if the products are well-known to the public, business should not depend on advertisements to increase their profits. The concept is a little abstract, let me give you an example to illustrate it. Apple is a famous corporation and almost all people in the world not only are familiar with but also trust in its products. As a result, it is not so urgent as other companies to put more money in advertising. On the opposite, what matters the most is the product itself. Provided that a new product appeared to the public, some people must buy it out of curiosity and tell other people. If the product is good, there is no doubt that it must sell well. In that way, business ought to invest more money on creation than advertising.

At the same time, when target consumer are steady and limited to an certain area , it is also a waste of money to invest more on advertising. Let me raise an example to break down this statement. A medicine manufacturer has produced this kind of product for a long time. Doctors and patients in this area has been familiar with it. Providing that the medicine manufacturer tries to increase its shares in the market, it should put more emphasis on decreasing the cost and price of the product, not advertisements.

To conclude, in modern world, advertisements are effective in promoting one’s products in some ways, but of course not all business can benefit a lot from advertisements.

sweetyecho

jennyer 发表于 2014-6-26 18:36
独立改好了，我们是互改的也去帮我看看吧

亲直戳我要害，哈哈～～～多谢多谢！

sweetyecho

Five_007 发表于 2014-6-26 18:13
写的很好的，不论是阅读的归纳还是听力的细节，都很棒。应该是good了。。。文章挺顺而且没发现错误。
学 ...

收到，谢谢亲了～～～

jennyer

独立改好了，我们是互改的也去帮我看看吧

Five_007

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-6-26 17:53
6.25 综合 TPO12

The reading passage explores the issue of the portrait of Jane Austen. The professo ...

写的很好的，不论是阅读的归纳还是听力的细节，都很棒。应该是good了。。。文章挺顺而且没发现错误。
学习了~~相比之下我。。。TAT 欲哭无泪

sweetyecho

6.25 综合 TPO12

The reading passage explores the issue of the portrait of Jane Austen. The professor’s lecture discusses the same issue. However, he believes that the teenage girl in this portrait is not Jane Austen, which contradicts what the reading passage suggests. The reasons are as follow.

First of all, the author says that the portrait was authorized by her family member. But, the lecturer argues that the edition of her letters was published after Jane Austen has been dead for 70 years, which suggests that these family members who ensure the portrait subject has never seen her. As a consequence, their assertion is invalid.

Second, even though there are not few similarities between the face in Cassandra’s sketch and the portrait, the professor points out some questions, for example, why you can make sure that the subject is Jane Austen, not her other female relatives? Since Austen family is extended and the girls in her relevant period have large possibilities to look like her, nobody can be sure the girl is Jane Austen. And the subsequent evidence also shows that the subject is her distant niece.

Third, the style of this portrait is belong to Ozias Humphrey, who was likely to paint for Austen family. However, the listening lecture contends that this judgment is limited to the style and other evidence does not support it all. According to the record, the canvass, the cloth that portrait on, was sold when Jane Austen was 27 years old or even older, which suggests that at the time the portrait was finished, Jane Austen was an adult already. So, the teenager girl in the portrait cannot be Jane Austen.

In a nutshell, the reading passage was jeopardized by the listening lecture on the issue whether the subject in the portrait was Jane Austen.

sweetyecho

6.25 独立 As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Nowadays, with the rapid advance of technology, people are faced to a more complicated world. As a consequence, they need a lot of abilities to adjust to the development speed, certainly the ability to plan and organize included. As far as I am concerned, the ability to plan and organize, to some extent, determines how well you can lead a life. The reasons are as follow.

First of all, the more complex modern life always means more workload and more choices and a good ability to plan and organize assists people to choose wisely and control progress effectively. Take my own experience as an example. When I was in high school, the schoolwork was so stressful that it deprived necessary sleeping time of me. An occasional conference instructed me to the time management whose essence is plan and organize. In accordance of the time management, before I began to do the daily schoolwork, I must make a list of things needed to do and choose them to be in the four categories: important and urgent, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, not important or urgent. I did not do the work until the previous preparation work was done and thanks to the technique, my schoolwork changed to be organized and excellent.

At the same time, owing to the complex modern life, people must cope with the much more complicated tasks, which asks people to work as a team. Consequently, how to cooperate with others in a team becomes a significant issue and from a whole team’s perspective, plan and organize is a powerful tool to help people work together. I remember when I was an intern in a company, my team leader always made a weekly work arrangement for all the team members that includes what you are ought to do, what outcomes you should get and when you need to get the work done. This arrangement appears to be easy, however, as an intern, I learn to work according to a schedule and my partner also can know what I am doing, which lets people understand each other more easily and communicate more effectively.

Last but not least, as water in the high-altitude area can be utilized to produce electricity, if we can plan and organize our time, our work well, we can also get the most benefits from them. I have a good habit: after I wake up every morning, I will calculate the working time and the fragment time and during the fragment time, I can make use of it to relax and entertain, for example, in the break between two meetings, I always choose some brief essays to read and make a phone contact with my family. This habit saves me a large quantity of time to travel and make a project, which perfects my life substantially.

In conclusion, not only from the individual’s perspective, but also from a whole team’s perspective, an excellent ability to plan and organize can make people lead a more comfortable and more efficient life in this fast developing society.

ENJ0Y

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-6-22 17:01
621 综合 TPO8
The reading passage explores the issue that Chevalier’s memoir is not convincing, bec ...

文章基本上没有错误，听力的重要点都听到了。应该已经是GOOD了。

sweetyecho

总结一下这几篇：
1.单词用法狠抓：pour的几个意思，while用作对比不能随便加逗号，在书面用语中只有cannot没有can not，leisure和leisurely都有adj.形式意思不同
2.综合的字数要上去 听力细节要努力填充
3.思路啊：以agriculture那篇为例，第一个论点，批改者的意见中肯，我仅着力议论environment的重要，却忽视了这篇文章的前提，一定是agriculture带来的

sweetyecho

621 综合 TPO8
The reading passage explores the issue that Chevalier’s memoir is not convincing, because he coined some events in it. The lecturer discusses the same issue. However, she believes that the memoir is a valuable historical source. She gives three reasons to refute the reading.

First of all, the author said that Chevalier was not so rich that he could spend a lot on parties and gambling since the evidence shows that in Switzerland, he borrowed a large quantity of money from merchants. But, the lecturer considers the loan from an opposite perspective. She thinks borrowing money could not prove he was not wealthy. As the wealth he own was in the form of property, he needed to sell these properties to get the money. Therefore, during the period he sold his properties, he needed to borrow some money.

Furthermore, the reading passage believes that the accuracy of the conversation he wrote in the memoir was not high since the memoir was written many years after the conversation happened. While obviously the lecturer knows the situation in more details, for example, he knew Chevalier would record exact conversation in his journal after the conversation occurred every night, and when Chevalier wrote this memoir, he referred his notes carefully. Consequently, this argument about the record many years later has no grounds.

Last but not least, the reading pointed out that it is Chevalier’s politically well-connected friends that helped him escape from the jailers, not himself. The lecturer contradicts that there were many people who have more powerful friends than he in the prison. So, if Chevalier could bribe to “get out”, why other people could not? At the same time, the official documents show that after he escaped, the ceiling upon his room was asked to repair.

In a nutshell, the reading passage was deeply jeopardized by the listening lecture, which perfectly argues that Chevalier’s memoir is accurate.