两战作文都25，没点长进。。。打滚求提升。。。。

jerry1610

唉。。。。不知道应该如何提高，求各位狠批。  我自己也尽量多写多练啦T T

这个是9月4号的第一篇！

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: All high-school students should take basic economic
courses.


理由：
1，高中生接触这些内容太早了，一些前置课程没有
2，基础经济学只是商科的一部分，不是这个专业学着没用
3，虽然商科有用，但是高中生已经很忙，无暇顾及

Business majors have become very popular in recent years and some related courses, say, the basic economic courses, have aroused global interests. The courses are useful and beneficial,so it is not strange that some may advocate all high-school students should take them. Considering all the benefits brought by the courses and the successful cases that ones learn a lot from them, I still think such an statement unwise. High school students are unable and too busy to take those courses, which may be useless in their future developments.

To begin with, high-school students are not entitled to learning the economic courses. Althought tagged with "basic", those courses require more knowledge than what a high school student would have learned. No one can run before he is able to walk. To participate in business school and learn related courses required us to complete prerequisite courses. I have learnt the basic ecnomic lessons and some chapters require knowledges of calculus. If you haven't learnt what is differentiation, you can't have a full understanding of the "marginal" cost and benefit. If you haven't learn basic knowledge of function, you won't be able to use the "production function" in your courses. It's not a matter of "should", but that of "can". High-school students can't fully understand what the courses are about.

Secondly, basic economic courses are involved in business major, which, although popular, is not everyone's choice. It is apparently unwise to force someone to takes the courses that hardly interest him. There are people, actually plenty of people, who plan not to choose to study further in this field. Asking them to take the courses is like asking soilders to dance, or dancers to drive. My sister likes literature and arts. She dreams to become a playwright that has little relation with the basic economic courses. She doesn't care about the theories or the applications in the economic class, then how is she supposed to take them.

Admittedly, every course is useful to some extent, and economic courses are no exception. However, these courses are hard and take time, which students, unfortunately, are lack of. The burdens on the high school students are becoming heavier, especially students in China, a country famous for its intensive compulsory education. In order to pass the College Entrance Exam, students have to work hard for the three-year high school life, some staying up late every night before the Exam. Therefore, taking the courses will worsen the situation and students are pushed hard to deal with all kinds of tasks, rather than learn somthing from them.

In a word, not all high-school students should take economic courses as they may lack the prerequisite knowledge, dislike the major or have no time and energy for an extra course. The decision should be made on individual bases. If one is spare and has capacity to learn more, it'll be great for him to take the courses. Ohtherwise, one may suffer from them.

虫虫爱吃菜

jerry1610 发表于 2013-9-5 15:29

你同不同意 that  學生參加學校的 organization 和activities club is as important as   their academic class.  
Students get benefit from student organization or club activities  是不是  as much as their academic studies.  
TPO 29

jerry1610

虫虫爱吃菜 发表于 2013-9-5 13:24
Business majors have become very popular in recent years and some related courses, say, the basic ec ...

Business majors have become very popular in recent years and some related courses, say, the basic economic courses, have aroused global interests. The courses are useful and beneficial,so it is not strange that some may advocate all high-school students should take them（一般用advocate of或者doing）一般advocate后面接名词的，这里接了从句我觉得语法上正确但是确实读起来怪怪的. Considering all the benefits brought by the courses and the successful cases that ones learn a lot from them, I still think such an statement (感觉此处such a statement指代不明这个statement就是题目中的statement吧，感觉behavior才会奇怪的说。而且感觉用behavior会比statement更好一点）unwise (is unwisethink sth adj 不用is）. High school students are unable and too busy to take those courses, which may be useless in their future developments. (个人感觉这句话不有力，为什么too busy 为什么unable都不是很有说服力。而且我觉得把前一句拆成两句更好，楼主这样的表达没有错但是读起来总觉得怪怪的。而且最后这一句来的有点太突然了，前面加点铺垫比如他们基础知识不够，准备高考紧张可能会承接的更好，而且也更有力。虽然楼主后面有详细说明，但觉得在这儿点一下也无不可）确实，我这里是想放个总领的句子，但是确实很突兀，也不好太具体，毕竟是首段。。纠结- -！ To begin with, high-school students are not entitled to learning the economic courses(entitled多当有资格的有权利的讲，此处有点不太合适吧？equal 打错）. Althought tagged with "basic", those courses require more knowledge than what a high school student would have learned(个人认为加上比如微积分的能力等等，这样会更好些。）. (As one Chinese proverb goes，这句话出自谚语比出自作者自己的话有更强的效果good。一秒变圣人！）no one can run before he is able to walk. To participate in business school and learn related courses required us to complete prerequisite courses. I have learnt the basic ecnomic lessons and some chapters require knowledges of calculus. If you haven't learnt what is differentiation, you can't have a full understanding of the "marginal" cost and benefit. If you haven't learn basic knowledge of function, you won't be able to use the "production function" in your courses. It's not a matter of "should", but that of "can". High-school students can't fully understand what the courses are about. (很喜欢楼主举得例子！很有说服力！但是第二句高中生不知道function是什么是不是有点牵强？据说一次函数是老美大学的课程。。。） Secondly, basic economic courses are involved(没有找到involve表达学科之间关系的例子，如果楼主见过的话那就忽略吧~are categorized as） in business major, which, although popular, is not everyone's choice. It is apparently unwise(这个词上面已经用过了，unreasonable之类的也挺好的improper） to force someone to takes the courses that hardly interest him. There are people, actually plenty of people, who plan not to choose to study further in this field. Asking them to take the courses is like asking soilders to dance, or dancers to drive. My sister likes literature and arts. She dreams to become a playwright that has little relation with the basic economic courses. She doesn't care about the theories or the applications in the economic class, then how is she supposed to take them(想请教下楼主这是什么用法，以前没注意过....这个是传说中的反问句- -   汉语的习惯。。。). Admittedly, every course is useful to some extent, and economic courses are no exception. However, these courses are hard and take time(time-taking？）, which(指代不明就是take time， which 指代time，这样可以否？） students, unfortunately, are lack of. The burdens on the high school students are becoming heavier, especially students in China, a country famous for its intensive compulsory education. In order to pass the College Entrance Exam, students have to work hard for the three-year high school life, some staying up late every night before the Exam. Therefore, taking the courses will worsen the situation and students are pushed hard to deal with all kinds of tasks(push to finish会不会比push to deal with 更好呢，会更显出被动deal with 有应付（带有不快的情感）的意思）, rather than learn somthing from them. In a word, not all high-school students should take economic courses as they may lack the prerequisite knowledge, dislike the major or have no time and energy for an extra course. The decision should be made on individual bases. If one is spare and has capacity to learn more, it'll be great for him to take the courses. Ohtherwise(otherwise）, one may suffer from them. 个人觉得楼主写的挺好的。尤其是例子举得很好，要向你学习！ 但是在表达上有不少地方读起来总觉得有点不正宗。 全文总起句引出+用词用词用词- -！

虫虫爱吃菜

Business majors have become very popular in recent years and some related courses, say, the basic economic courses, have aroused global interests. The courses are useful and beneficial,so it is not strange that some may advocate all high-school students should take them（一般用advocate of或者doing）. Considering all the benefits brought by the courses and the successful cases that ones learn a lot from them, I still think such an statement (感觉此处such a statement指代不明。而且感觉用behavior会比statement更好一点）unwise (is unwise）. High school students are unable and too busy to take those courses, which may be useless in their future developments. (个人感觉这句话不有力，为什么too busy 为什么unable都不是很有说服力。而且我觉得把前一句拆成两句更好，楼主这样的表达没有错但是读起来总觉得怪怪的。而且最后这一句来的有点太突然了，前面加点铺垫比如他们基础知识不够，准备高考紧张可能会承接的更好，而且也更有力。虽然楼主后面有详细说明，但觉得在这儿点一下也无不可）

To begin with, high-school students are not entitled to learning the economic courses(entitled多当有资格的有权利的讲，此处有点不太合适吧？）. Althought tagged with "basic", those courses require more knowledge than what a high school student would have learned(个人认为加上比如微积分的能力等等，这样会更好些。）. (As one Chinese proverb goes，这句话出自谚语比出自作者自己的话有更强的效果）no one can run before he is able to walk. To participate in business school and learn related courses required us to complete prerequisite courses. I have learnt the basic ecnomic lessons and some chapters require knowledges of calculus. If you haven't learnt what is differentiation, you can't have a full understanding of the "marginal" cost and benefit. If you haven't learn basic knowledge of function, you won't be able to use the "production function" in your courses. It's not a matter of "should", but that of "can". High-school students can't fully understand what the courses are about. (很喜欢楼主举得例子！很有说服力！但是第二句高中生不知道function是什么是不是有点牵强？）

Secondly, basic economic courses are involved(没有找到involve表达学科之间关系的例子，如果楼主见过的话那就忽略吧~） in business major, which, although popular, is not everyone's choice. It is apparently unwise(这个词上面已经用过了，unreasonable之类的也挺好的） to force someone to takes the courses that hardly interest him. There are people, actually plenty of people, who plan not to choose to study further in this field. Asking them to take the courses is like asking soilders to dance, or dancers to drive. My sister likes literature and arts. She dreams to become a playwright that has little relation with the basic economic courses. She doesn't care about the theories or the applications in the economic class, then how is she supposed to take them(想请教下楼主这是什么用法，以前没注意过).

Admittedly, every course is useful to some extent, and economic courses are no exception. However, these courses are hard and take time(time-taking？）, which(指代不明） students, unfortunately, are lack of. The burdens on the high school students are becoming heavier, especially students in China, a country famous for its intensive compulsory education. In order to pass the College Entrance Exam, students have to work hard for the three-year high school life, some staying up late every night before the Exam. Therefore, taking the courses will worsen the situation and students are pushed hard to deal with all kinds of tasks(push to finish会不会比push to deal with 更好呢，会更显出被动）, rather than learn somthing from them.

In a word, not all high-school students should take economic courses as they may lack the prerequisite knowledge, dislike the major or have no time and energy for an extra course. The decision should be made on individual bases. If one is spare and has capacity to learn more, it'll be great for him to take the courses. Ohtherwise(otherwise）, one may suffer from them.

个人觉得楼主写的挺好的。尤其是例子举得很好，要向你学习！
但是在表达上有不少地方读起来总觉得有点不正宗。