终于憋出一篇作文，请大牛打分指点

roostme

8.1日考试，已经准备3个多月了，端午节假期开始准备作文。写作真的很痛苦，今天中午憋出第一篇作文（主要是背），由于本人在职复习，时间紧迫，请各路大牛指点一二，判断一下这样子能得到3分吗。

Based on the assumption that the reducing circulation is result from the lower price of its competitor, the argument concludes that reducing its price will cause the increasing of circulation and attract more business. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer states that price is the crucial problem. The argument is not very persuasive since it omits several concerns that should be addressed in the statement. In my opinion, it fails to demonstrate the correlation among the price, the circulation and the business.

The major problem with the argument is the assumption that the reducing price is adequately resulting in the increase of circulation. However, this assumption is unwarranted. A series of factor such as the content of the newspaper, the printing quality, may affect the circulation. Without regarding these factors, it is difficult to conclude that the reducing price will lead to the increase of circulation.

Similarly, the assumption that the increase of circulation will cause more advertising business is also flaw. For instance, whether to advertise in the newspaper may depend on the readers of the newspaper. Circulation is not the only factor.

Before reaching my conclusion, it is necessary to point out several concerns that undermine the argument. The argument fails to analysis the reason why the circulation is declining, and fails to research the situation of Bugle.

To sum up, the argument fails to substantiate the claim that the reducing price will result in the increase of circulation and advertising business. The assumption mentioned in the article does lead strong support to the conclusion. To make the conclusion more convincing, the author should provide more information about why the circulation is decline, and demonstrate the crucial difference with Bugle. If the article includes the information discussed above, the argument would be more convincing and logically acceptable.  

roostme

从没写过作文，如果能拿到4.5-5分就perfect了

suyuximi

3分可不够用啊.......