大神给看看作文呗~

Ferris1992

Prep里的题目。
感觉AWA也就是这么一回事，总结出个模板，然后找漏洞找缺陷（一般都太明显了），抓住两点写写，不一会儿就一坨了。
不过还是有点不放心，求大神给看看~

Ferris1992

喵喵喵

Ferris1992

咩~

Ferris1992

我开头结尾都是按孙远作文讲义里写的，比如开头三步：1.In this argument the author concludes that... 2. To support the conclusion... 3 In addition...
之前有帖子说担心这玩意儿千篇一律了怕抄袭，低下回复也挺争议的。
问题是，这玩意有什么抄袭不抄袭的，换来换去不还是那么回事，换汤不换药。你们看呢？
还有那个范文224篇，说实话真没觉得哪里好。很多句法和用辞都很随意很简单。有的大神说AWA主要不看你模板和句式，主要看你逻辑，切不切题。可我觉得逻辑还不简单啊不就是找漏洞。
反正我是这么找的，大家看看怎么样喵~

Ferris1992

我的
In this argument, the author concludes that people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. To support this conclusion, the author points out the fact that the Heart's Delight, a store has been selling organic fruits and vegetables and flours now also sells cheeses made with high butterfat content, that the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant is still making a living while the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires indeed. In addition, the author reasons that the goods a store sells and the operation state of different restaurants are reflection of people's food preference. Appeared to be somewhat convincing, however, this argument is severely weakened by two critical flaws.

Most conspicuously, the evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion drawn from it. Citing the fact that a tore that started selling fruits and vegetables in the 1960's now sells cheeses, the author reasons that the store must started to sell cheeses in order to meet the growing need of fatty cheeses. Nevertheless, this is not necessarily the case for a single store is not representative of the whole market an no detailed data is provided. For example, certain kind of residents, such as workers and athelets, might move into the region where the store is located, and raise the demand of cheeses and meat which is merely a regional phenomenon. Given the consumers there are representative of people in general, the cheeses sold in the store may still remain a very low proportion of the overall food consumption. Therefore, the conclusion is unwarranted without valid evidence and data.

Second, the argument rests on the gratuitous assumption that the operation state of two different restaurants can be a reflection of people's food preference. This alone also does not substantiate the conclusion. The phenomenon can be explained in an adverse way. Just as likely, other restaurants serving beef might have left the region by strong marketing campaign carried out by the new House of Beef. Thus the house of Beef can attract lots of customers from the closed restaurants and yield much more profit while the overall beef consumption remains the same or even decreases. Meanwhile, many new vegetarian restaurants might have entered into this region and occupied some market share of the Good Earth Cafe which brought about the hard time of this restaurants. Therefore, the conclusion draw from this fact is not convincing without ruling out such probabilities.

In conclusion, this argument is severely undermined by the flaws abovementioned. To strengthen the conclusion, the author would have to illustrate the validity of the evidence and provide sufficient data such as the average consumption of red meat and fatty cheeses per capita now and 10 years ago.

Ferris1992

题目是这个
The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.
“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.