SMS的菜菜作文本

SMS

菜就菜吧，但总得有开始的时候，大家尽管提建议或者拍砖，希望能够取得进步就好了。谢谢！

tsyxyss

Frankly, as a parent, I disagree withthe point that children can make choice by their own. Who can make the choicefor the children, it is depend on different situations.（建议用background+你的观点的写法，比如nowadays…… Iargue …..）

Firstly, everyone knows almost allchildren have little self-control ability, so they cannot always focus on thething they should do, such as learning knowledge and exercise body. If In fact, they preferpaling games, watching TV, and browsing internet for a very long time. Thesethings not only damage their eye sight, but also teach them less knowledgewaste their numerous invaluable time(观点不太好关键不太符合逻辑啊), especially nowadaysincreasingly shameful pornography wreaking havoc in the Internet even badly thesewill lazy ruin children’s brainand body.  When I was young, I got my opiceye because of watching too much TV every day, and I find my son also likewatching TV, so I cannot let the my opic eye happen to my son. The bad habitwastes their time to do better thing, so what they need to do and when theyshould do cannot be chosen only by their own.

Secondly, as an adult, we have not only successfulmore experience aboutlife and work, but also valuable lesson to share with them. For example, when Iwas young, learning an instrument as an amateur is impossible thing in ourcountryside. So I encourage my son to learn violin, and in fact he is reallygood at this. However, for so young child, he does not like to practice violin everyday. What I do every day is to accompanywith him to exercise violin, encourage him to persist, and avoid him giving up.In this learning process, parents choose the better thing for the children’sfuture.

Thirdly, preparing enough instead ofexcessive time, money and energy for the children’s future is theresponsibility of every parent. By balancing work and life time, each parentcan offer enough time to carefully determining future things of children. Thesethings include long-term plans and short-term projects. For instance, a healthbody is necessary for the future success, and this is useful long-term plan.How to approach this goal? We need to take many short-term projects. Forexample, my son take the soccer course when the beginning of each school year,then participate the baseball exercise in the middle of that school year, andfinally in the end of the school year he  practice basketball in histeam. All the sports happen on the weekend days and keep only one hour. From theseexercise, I hope he can familiar with some major sports, maybe not as professionalas an athlete, and build a healthy and strong body for the wonderful future.

From my point, parents should spend muchtime in determining children’s future. Parents use this time to help and assisttheir children to get some achievement in future. It is not only the success ofthe children, but also the parents. I also want to claim that parents could notdetermine the future only by themselves, because children’s future depends on alot of aspects. As a parent, we should show them good way and prevent them from heading for going tothe bad way wrong orientation.

实在抱歉，回的太晚了！以为没人改我的了。

建议我已经回复你了，总之，好好加油，多加练习吧！！！

SMS

2 May 「Today」
Independent Writing：
The parents spend too much time on determining future things of children. children can make choices by their own.

Frankly, as a parent, I disagree with the pointthat children can make choice by their own. Who can make the choice for thechildren, it is depend on different situations.

Firstly, everyone knows almost all childrenhave little self-control ability, so they can not always focus on the thingthey should do, such as learning knowledge and exercise body. If fact theyprefer paling games, watching TV, and browsing internet for a very long time.These things not only damage their eye sight, but also teach them lessknowledge, and even badly these will lazy their brain and body. When I wasyoung, I got myopic eye because of watching too much TV every day, and I findmy son also like watching TV, so I can not let the myopic eye happen to my son.These bad habit waste their time to do better thing, so what they need to doand when they should do can not be chosen only by their own.

Secondly, as an adult, wehave not only successful experience about life and work, but also valuablelesson to share with them. For example, when I was young, learning aninstrument as an amateur is impossible thing in our countryside. So I encouragemy son to learn violin, and in fact he is really good at this. However, for soyoung child, he does not like to practice violin every day. What I do every dayis to accompany with him to exercise violin, encourage him to persist, and avoidhim giving up. In this learning process, parents choose the better thing forthe children’s future.

Thirdly, preparing enoughinstead of excessive time, money and energy for the children’s future is the responsibilityof every parent. By balancing work and life time, each parent can offer enough timeto carefully determining future things of children. These things includelong-term plans and short-term projects. For instance, a health body is necessaryfor the future success, and this is useful long-term plan. How to approach thisgoal? We need to take many short-term projects. For example, my son take thesoccer course when the beginning of each school year, then participate the baseball exercise in the middle of that school year, and finally in the end of theschool year he  practice basketball inhis team. All the sports happen on the weekend days and keep only one hour. Fromthese exercise, I hope he can familiar with some major sports, maybe not asprofessional as an athlete, and build a healthy and strong body for the wonderfulfuture.

From my point, parentsshould spend much time in determining children’s future. Parents use this timeto help and assist their children to get some achievement in future. It is notthe success of the children, but also the parents. I also want to claim that parentscould not determine the future only by themselves, because children’s futuredepends on a lot of aspects. As a parent, we should show them good way andprevent them from going to bad way.

corneliaflower

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group.

From my personal career experience, I certainly agree with this correct statement. Coincidentally, a saying like this (这句话语法错误也不太地道，改成这样比较好：as the saying goes...）" A bitter medicine cures disease; honest advice may be unpleasant to hear, but it is the best".  开头有点平淡了

First of all, nowadays, most people work in group in the company, especially  in some multinational corporation, one person may need to corporate （cooperate 拼写错误） with several projects and a couple （+of） groups. In this complicated situation, how can a person deal with so many things and people?  It is impossible to get all people's supports, so we have to listen to somebody's suggestion or even criticism to let the work go through. If we do not accept any criticism from other people, the critic may stop their work, so the whole group will be delay for this matter.

Secondly, a lot of criticisms are very reasonable.  These criticisms can point out the defect, loophole, （需要连词and）even error in your work. If we take these criticism and adjust our work, we will accomplish our task more perfect （perfectly）, instead of going to a wrong way . So why do not we accept this criticism?

Furthermore, when we are in a group, there are a lot of person with great knowledge, skill and experience. From these people, especially from their criticism, we can learn a lot of things we do not know, even （+we） have never met before. So, this is （+a） good opportunity to widen our eyes, and enrich ourselves.

Consequently, people in group should take account of others criticism, and accept the good ones, so they can make less mistake, solve more problem,and get success  in the work.



1 三个立意点不错，但是表达得过于简单，没有具体的例子。建议多一些具体事例描述。
2 LZ的很多语句都是典型的中式英语，意思表达出来但是不够地道。建议多背一些句式，丰富句子形式。
3 字数太少。

SMS

6 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group.

From my personal career experience, I certainly agree with this correct statement. Coincidentally, a saying like this " A bitter medicine cures disease; honest advice may be unpleasant to hear, but it is the best".

First of all, nowadays, most people work in group in the company, especially  in some multinational corporation, one person may need to corporate with several projects and a couple groups. In this complicated situation, how can a person deal with so many things and people?  It is impossible to get all people's supports, so we have to listen to somebody's suggestion or even criticism to let the work go through. If we do not accept any criticism from other people, the critic may stop their work, so the whole group will be delay for this matter.

Secondly, a lot of criticisms are very reasonable.  These criticisms can point out the defect, loophole, even error in your work. If we take these criticism and adjust our work, we will accomplish our task more perfect, instead of going to a wrong way . So why do not we accept this criticism?

Furthermore, when we are in a group, there are a lot of person with great knowledge, skill and experience. From these people, especially from their criticism, we can learn a lot of things we do not know, even have never met before. So, this is good opportunity to widen our eyes, and enrich ourselves.

Consequently, people in group should take account of others criticism, and accept the good ones, so they can make less mistake, solve more problem,and get success  in the work.

SMS

谢谢libertine的修改！意见很中肯很受用。
很仔细，有的地方我自己自己没有觉察出来，可能刚开始写，对很多小错误都不敏感。
写的时候自己也觉得逻辑混乱，想到什么就写什么了，对文章没有整体的把握。
我的英语功底还很差，需要不断努力啊！作文小组真的很有用！

不过，美国的小学或幼儿园很多教室确实有宠物的：）

另外，很多单词连在一起，看来是系统的错误，不是人为的。

SMS

1 February
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends.

To be honesty, I totally disagree with this statement, because I am a person of loving travel and fresh things.

Firstly, when to the new city or country, if possible, I suggest to drive a car especially a house car to enjoy the time and views on the way. Taking airplane definitely can save much time, however a lot of interesting things, friendly people, and fascinating scene are lost in your life, For example, one of my friend graduated from his university and found job in Seattle, so he and his wife drove by themselves to there for four days. They visited Yellowstone National Park, Mount Rushmore, and so on.That was a very valuable experience, and a very good opportunity to relax. Thus, why would we give up so good easy chance to enjoy traveling.


Even, after you get the destination, maybe huge wonderful challenges are waiting you. If you move down from North to South, possibly the color-changing season will not come back to you again, but the the comfortable warmer winter and beautiful sunny beach summer should certainly attract you so much. If you  transfer up from South to North, the fresh green spring, short worm summer, fascinating colorful harvest fall, and pure playful winter with skiing and snowman, will let you jump to the sea of real life on the earth to taste and feel the unbelievable enviroment changing. Besides this, the architecture, the culture, the traditions, people, and the languages, all the surrounding are totally different. Does not too many unusual things attract you? Go for it, go for the new life in your unique life!


Nowadays,  telephone and internet are so common, and we can talk even video from internet with our friends everyday or any moment. So, maybe we communicate more often while living oversea than in the same city. And what's more, the transportation is so convenient, that we only need to spend less than one day from the farthest  points of the earth. Now, what are you worrying about? Lost friends?  
In the end, for my opinion, moving to a new city or new country will not lose your old friends.

（While writing the last sentence, I noticed that I digressed from the subject. I am sorry for this!）

SMS

28 January
Integrated Writing:
TPO 5The lecture completely refute the passage in all the threetheory about the Chaoco structures, the notable " great houses".


For the first theory, the lecture said there were not toomany fireplaces for too many families to cook their meals, however there wereonly few fireplaces in the biggest house. So it was unfunctional, and hundredsof people could not be resided here.

For the second theory, the professor use the evidence thatno containers and maize were left in the great house to disagree thisstatement. If so big house was used as the storage of food supplied, a lot ofcontainers were necessary to store the foods, but no any vestige for thecontainers, and even no food were left.

For the third theory, more strong evidences were given torefute it. The broken pot was not the only old material, and stones, sands, andconstruction tools also existed in the great house. So, maybe the broken potswere left by the workers after eating.

From the above three sides, the professor in the lecturedenied the theories in the reading passage.