bet的作文帖，马上要考试的人伤不起，跪求各位狠批！

bet

Should company use public recognition to reward hard working, not to use money？



For centuries, companies search for the best way to reward their diligent employees, and bonus, welfare, and promotion are among the choices. However, public recognition, a new kind of reward, is attracting the attention of an increasing number of employers. Unlike money and welfare, public recognition is a representative of spiritual encouragement, which was easily neglected by companies in the past. There are obviously some advantages of spiritual reward over money.
To begin with, public recognition is a terrific way to show the company’s specific care about one employee, as well as a good way to improve one’s satisfaction and loyalty. As a basic need of human beings, recognition and compliment are to workers what sunshine is to trees. If a company uses public recognition to reward hard working people, it is telling the public that those people are of considerable significance and that the company is proud of them. For example, I still remember how disappointed I was when I got the bonus in my first employed year but was not nominated “the best new employee”. In this sense, public recognition can make employees feel more satisfied and thus become more loyal to the company.
Secondly, public recognition can contribute to self-promotion. Money at most times represents payment, merely for what people have done, while public recognition also shows the confidence that they will make more contributions to the company in the future. By being encouraged spiritually, employees can not only work harder, but also think more about their future career path. Afterwards, they can dig their potential to fulfill their plans. That is how public recognition works.
Thirdly, why should a company pay extra money for employees when that amount of money can be easily saved without reducing the reward effect?
Admittedly, there are still some prerequisites for a company to implement this measure. For instance, the company should be big enough and the employees should be mainly satisfied with their salaries. Otherwise public recognition reward may not play as important a role as money does.
In summary, public recognition can contribute to satisfaction and self-promotion of employees, as well as save companies’ money. More importantly, it is a wholly novel idea which has not be used pervasively. Thus, it can help a company make a difference from others and reveal how special it is to an employee.

tsyxyss

Nowadaysit's easier to maintain health than the past


Forcenturies, people have indulged themselves in the rapid development of modernmedication and health care facilities, assuming that it is easier to maintainhealth now than in the past. Nevertheless, people nowadays keep ignoring theunpleasant but absolute truth— modern life has brought about numerous adverseimpacts, some of which have posed a great threat to people's heath. Therefore,I will not hesitate to say that maintaining health today has become much harderthan the past.

To beginwith, the major obstacle for us to remain healthy today is the environmentalproblems. In fact, environmentalproblems such as air pollution and water contamination are drasticallyjeopardizing people’s heath every day. When these indispensableresources of human beings are filled with poison pollutant, it is only a matterof time for people to finally develop some diseases. Take my mother forexample. We used to live in an industry city called Langfang in China. Butseveral years ago, my mother was diagnosed with asthma due to the polluted airin Langfang. As a result, my family had to move to another city with a betterair condition, or my mother might get into really dangerous health situations.There is no doubt that millions of people on earth are suffering from all kindsof diseases caused by environment pollution.

In the second place, pressure from work has becomeanother detrimental factor to people’s health currently. In today’s high-paced society,work has burdened people considerably, thus causing a variety of mentaldiseases. With enormous piles of documents to read and dozens of conferences to participate in,workers are as busy as bees every day. Undoubtedly, pressure（个人觉得改成health） oftenbecomes the last thing they will pay attention to deal with. Subsequently, insomnia, depression, and other all sorts of physical and mental diseases (觉得insomnia不是mental disease) gradually devastate people's mental health aswell as make people more vulnerable in physical status.

Furthermore,difficulties to keep healthy can also be attributed to the unhealthy lifestyles people are maintaining every day. Specifically, junk foods, cigarettes and alcohols are on the top of the list of stimulithat make people live an extremely irregular life. According to the statisticsof the Ministry of Public Health in China, smoking and drinking problems areputting 37% of adults' lives in hazard, whereas the proportion was no more than1% seventy years ago. Also, the great access to private cars has deprived most people's opportunityto exercise while commuting. As a result, obesity and heart disease becomemore and more pervasive due to a lack of exercise.  （第三段写得太流弊了，真的很好。。。）

Insummary, considering the catastrophic consequences that modern life has broughtabout, such as environmental problems, working pressure, and harmful lifestyles, there is no doubt that it is more difficult to maintain health today. Actually, the rapid development of oursociety is sometimes at the cost of people's health.（我建议删掉，我觉得结尾就总结就好了） Therefore, it is time we faced the reality andexamined the harm we have done to ourselves.
本人水平捉鸡，请楼主谨慎听取意见。

bet

1月22号独立，晚了晚了，不好意思啊～
Nowadays it's easier to maintain health than the past



For centuries, people have indulged themselves in the rapid development of modern medication and health care facilities, assuming that it is easier to maintain health now than in the past. Nevertheless, people nowadays keep ignoring the unpleasant but absolute truth— modern life has brought about numerous adverse impacts, some of which have posed a great threat to people's heath. Therefore, I will not hesitate to say that maintaining health today has become much harder than the past.



To begin with, the major obstacle for us to remain healthy today is the environmental problems. In fact, environmental problems such as air pollution and water contamination are drastically jeopardizing people’s heath every day. When these indispensable resources of human beings are filled with poison pollutant, it is only a matter of time for people to finally develop some diseases. Take my mother for example. We used to live in an industry city called Langfang in China. But several years ago, my mother was diagnosed with asthma due to the polluted air in Langfang. As a result, my family had to move to another city with a better air condition, or my mother might get into really dangerous health situations. There is no doubt that millions of people on earth are suffering from all kinds of diseases caused by environment pollution.



In the second place, pressure from work has become another detrimental factor to people’s health currently. In today’s high-paced society, work has burdened people considerably, thus causing a variety of mental diseases. With enormous piles of documents to read and dozens of conferences to participate in, workers are as busy as bees every day. Undoubtedly, pressure often becomes the last thing they will pay attention to deal with. Subsequently, insomnia, depression, and other mental diseases gradually devastate people's mental health as well as make people more vulnerable in physical status.



Furthermore, difficulties to keep healthy can also be attributed to the unhealthy life styles people are maintaining every day. Specifically, junk foods, cigarettes and alcohols are on the top of the list of stimuli that make people live an extremely irregular life. According to the statistics of the Ministry of Public Health in China, smoking and drinking problems are putting 37% of adults' lives in hazard, whereas the proportion was no more than 1% seventy years ago. Also, the great access to private cars has deprived most people's opportunity to exercise while commuting. As a result, obesity and heart disease become more and more pervasive due to a lack of exercise.



In summary, considering the catastrophic consequences that modern life has brought about, such as environmental problems, working pressure, and harmful life styles, there is no doubt that it is more difficult to maintain health today. Actually, the rapid development of our society is sometimes at the cost of people's health. Therefore, it is time we faced the reality and examined the harm we have done to ourselves.

perfectends

说明：绿色--赞；红色--修改；蓝色--建议。

Whether we should be completely honest with our friends all the time has aroused considerable controversy. Some people claim that complete honesty is the foundation of friendships, whereas others regard complete honesty as impossible, holding the view that all people need some privacy and personal space. As far as I am concerned, total honesty is not only terrible but also impossible, since there are always some obstacles getting in our way when we are trying to be honest. （第一段亮了，看门见山，句型比较丰富，也有高级词汇）


First of all, privacy is a necessity in our social life because everyone has some deep secrets that he or she does not want others to find out. When we look back in the past, we will inevitably find some bad memories or horrible experiences that we do not want to remember. Maybe it is about a failure in business, or about a heart-broken relationship. If we have to be complete honest with friends, we have to tell them the miserable story at least one more time, recalling the dark moment and falling in the bad mood again. And that is not what our friends look forward to. Instead, as some people friends that really care about us,friends they would like to should help us forget those memories and make sure the deep secrets will not hurt our feelings again. In this case, complete honesty should be avoided if we do not want to recall the past.


Secondly, in certain situations, we should tell our friends some white lies, for the truth may hit them in the face and make them lose the final faith. I still remember 2 years ago, one of my grandma'sgrandmother’s friends got really sick. When we went to visit her in the hospital, the doctor told us that she got cancer and was in extremely bad health condition. So my grandmagrandmother agreed with the doctor’s words and decided not to tell her friend the real situation, because she did not want her friend to fall into desperation. At that time, I realized that sometimes white lies are far better than telling the truth. （grandma有点非正式）


Additionally, at times, keeping other’s secrets is a demand so we cannot be complete honest with our friends. In fact, there are always some things we have promised others that we will not tell. For example, we may have signed a contract to keep business secrets at work. Or, we may have made a deal with one of our friends and promised her not to spill the beans to my other friends.


In summary, although honesty plays a vital role in friendship, it is impossible to be complete honest with our friends, for sometimes we need to keep a little bit privacy and not to go back to a bad experience. And for other situations, telling the truth can be too cruel and a white lie can help our friends better handle the thorny things in their lives. (呃，结尾，2个for一个是在上一句里面，用的逗号连接，一个在下一句里面，我没想出来怎么调整更好，但是感觉最好调整一下。)





总体而言，文章选词造句都比较地道，首段非常眼前一亮（虽说第一句有模板嫌疑），行文逻辑也没有大的问题，很不错的文章。个别需要注意的是口语化用词要替换掉。

perfectends

备注：红色--修改；绿色高亮--赞

TPO4
In the lecture, the professor refutes the idea that dinosaurs were endotherms. She also claims thatnot one none of the three reasons stated in the reading passage is convincing.

First of all, the dinosaur fossils found in Polar Regions cannot prove that they were endotherms, because the Polar Regions were much warmer when they lived there---- （破折号两个--就够了）even warm enough for the animals that were not endotherms to live. Also, the polar dinosaurs might have migrated to places warmer when the weather got cold, or they could just hibernate（这词，我听出来了不会写，就没写囧） like many other reptiles. Thus, the dinosaurs might not be able to maintain a constant temperature to protect themselves from frigidity. In this way, they were not endotherms.

Second, their leg position and movement cannot be used as evidence, because supporting more weight for the dinosaurs may be another explanation. If the position of their legs was were just underneath their bodies, they could gain more weight and then grow into a larger size.（这个point我漏掉了） Obviously, larger size had many advantages, so there is no need for the idea of being endotherms.

Third, although Haversian canals did exist, the growth rings of dinosaur's bone structure showed that dinosaurs grew slower when the weather became cooler. Genuine endotherms still grow rapidly during colder period. However, dinosaurs would grow less rapidly, or even not grow any more when the weather changed. Therefore, dinosaurs were not endotherms.





GMAT蹂躏过的作文就是不一样啊，语法错误比较少，而且你听力的观点和重点支撑论点都听的比较全面。我感觉你的作文没有达到理想分数是原因是，你没有明确点名原文的观点是什么，只是着重讲了怎么反驳。这点改进一下，估计高分作文就诞生~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦

tsyxyss

楼主，没看见你22好的作业咩、、、、

verchieldan

How do students make new friends? Some of them believe that joining a sports team is a good choice, while others regard participating in community activities as a wonderful method. However, as for me, making new friends in travel is a terrific opportunity that I will never miss.
First of all, travel companies can easily become friends because they need each other for help. During a trip, especially when someone is travelling alone, there is no doubt that he will need some help sooner or later, for it can be awholly这个是副词，是不是可以用whole new environment, where is fraught (好词)with uncertainties. If this is the case, the one he resorts for help is highly likely to become his new friend. Take myself for example. I once traveled to a little town in Sichuan by myself. Unfortunately, I lost my way and could not find the hotel I had booked. So I asked a passenger, who happened to be an earnest好词 girl, for help. She not only helped me find my way, but also became my guide, and accompanied me to several places of interest in that town. Undoubtedly, we became friends and have kept in touch ever since. Had I not traveled to that town, I could not have met one of my best friends, which would have become a big loss for me.

时态分的很清楚，过去时和现在完成时，还有虚拟倒装，厉害~学到了，因为我一计时写作文就会各种混乱。

Moreover, it is easy to make new friends during a trip, since people have plenty of time to talk with each other when they are on the way. In fact, the time we spend on transportations takes a significant part of our travel. Before we get to our destination, we have to take planes, trains, and buses. Therefore, talking with the passengers sit beside us is a good way to kill time. Friendship can be forged easily after a pleasant conversation. I still remember last time I took a train in travel, Ian, the boy sitting next to me, became my friend, because we kept talking all the way to the final station and found out that we had lots of hobbies in common.
Last but not least, travel can contribute to friendship owing to the beautiful memories that people had during the trip. When people are on a trip, they have no pressure but a relaxed mood. Unloading their defense and burden, even people with bad tempers can become friendly and easy-going. Isn’t it a perfect time to make friends?

最后的论点用了反问，和前两个不同，有新意。
To sum up, I strongly recommend students to make new friends while travelling, since they have the need, the time, and even the mood. In turn, travel will be full of surprise and happiness when we open our hearts to unexpected encounters. Maybe, our future friends are waiting for us at the next station.

bet 的文章果然如alex所说，没有语法和拼写错误，论点清晰明了，句式多样且例子恰当，容易follow。。。优点很多啊，我要好好学习。
在此提点可以明骚（引用。。。）的建议：
既然楼主功底不俗， 作文可以运用自如的话，可以尝试跳出模板，因为这篇还是有很明显的模板痕迹。
这样可以向满分冲刺一下

chasedreamabc

How do people define happiness? Some of them equate happiness with a satisfactory job, and some others think that the more money they earn, the happier they are(feel更好一点). Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, happiness has nothing to do with jobs or money, but is closely related to people’s social life. Therefore, I strongly support the view that social life has more effects on a person’s happiness than job does.

To begin with, social life makes people happy because it makes them relax, whereas work often gives them considerable pressure. Unlike working with colleagues, who gather in an office with explicit purpose----to finish their work in time, hanging out with friends means they can chat, make jokes, play games or do some sports, all wonderful activities that make people release from a whole day’s work. Take my uncle Joey for example. He is a doctor with extremely high salary and prestigious social status. However, when he is at work, he always feels nervous or exhausted. All he desires is（are）to spend some quality time（父亲、母亲或双亲保留来专门讨论与家庭和小孩有关之事务的时间，with friends的话逻辑貌似不是很合适）with his friends at a bar after work. He tells me without hesitation that his social life obviously makes him happier than his job does.
Moreover, when people confront some difficulties or bewilderment at work, they need to talk with their friends and become happy again in their social life. In fact, work is fraught with challenges and adversities. Sometimes, people are not brave enough to deal with all the thorny things at work alone. Sometimes people lose confidence in themselves and need to be encouraged. And sometimes people spin like a top at an intersection and need some advice to find the right path. Then, it is time for friends to show up and help them to pull through the dark moment.

这一段的排比写的很棒
In addition, if people make an achievement at work, they have to share the success with friends or families（和同事也可以share吧，或许是一起的idea，更能有feeling） so that they can feel happy. In other words, it is the congratulations from others or the celebrations with friends in social life that make them happy. It feels miserable if someone has no opportunity（主要是讲的时机，这里可以用method，way就可以表达了） to share the joy in social life. For example, in my first employed year, I once got the award of “the best new employee”. I was quite thrilled, and the first thing occurred to me was to call my friend, who had consoled me and made me believe in（可以不要吧） myself again during a tough time. Yet I was exceedingly disappointed when I found I could not reach her at that time, even though I got the reward.
In summary, social life is so indispensable in making people happy that it is the source of joy in people’s life. Different from jobs, social life makes people relax, cheers people up in their setbacks, and passes one’s successful news to others, thus making people happy. As long as people can still keep in touch with friends, they can conquer as many trials and tribulations as they want to.

PS：几个小点：后面2点都是采用对比说明，第一次使用还挺新鲜，再次出现就觉得有些重复了，托福讲求花哨嘛；文章的例子不是很充分，显得单薄一些；最后一个呢，出现了很多次的happy，貌似没有一处替换，亲，我们要明骚，不要太内秀了

bet

Happiness那篇，仔细拜读了，写的真好。word文档里面有我的一点批注，没什么太多的建设性意见，因为水平实在有限。一起学习共同进步吧。

-- by 会员 e23lzh (2013/1/21 21:38:56)

e23lzh你改的真的太好了，尤其是同义词同义短语的替换，非常受用！！而且你说你水平有限，我怎么觉得你是位高人啊，就是太谦虚了，哈哈～～以后有什么需要改的文章就找我吧～加油加油～

bet

1月20号独立
Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends?
a. join a sports team,
b. participate in community activities,
c. traveling


How do students make new friends? Some of them believe that joining a sports team is a good choice, while others regard participating in community activities as a wonderful method. However, as for me, making new friends in travel is a terrific opportunity that I will never miss.



First of all, travel companies can easily become friends because they need each other for help. During a trip, especially when someone is travelling alone, there is no doubt that he will need some help sooner or later, for it can be a wholly new environment, where is fraught with uncertainties. If this is the case, the one he resorts for help is highly likely to become his new friend. Take myself for example. I once traveled to a little town in Sichuan by myself. Unfortunately, I lost my way and could not find the hotel I had booked. So I asked a passenger, who happened to be an earnest girl, for help. She not only helped me find my way, but also became my guide, and accompanied me to several places of interest in that town. Undoubtedly, we became friends and have kept in touch ever since. Had I not traveled to that town, I could not have met one of my best friends, which would have become a big loss for me.



Moreover, it is easy to make new friends during a trip, since people have plenty of time to talk with each other when they are on the way. In fact, the time we spend on transportations takes a significant part of our travel. Before we get to our destination, we have to take planes, trains, and buses. Therefore, talking with the passengers sit beside us is a good way to kill time. Friendship can be forged easily after a pleasant conversation. I still remember last time I took a train in travel, Ian, the boy sitting next to me, became my friend, because we kept talking all the way to the final station and found out that we had lots of hobbies in common.



Last but not least, travel can contribute to friendship owing to the beautiful memories that people had during the trip. When people are on a trip, they have no pressure but a relaxed mood. Unloading their defense and burden, even people with bad tempers can become friendly and easy-going. Isn’t it a perfect time to make friends?



To sum up, I strongly recommend students to make new friends while travelling, since they have the need, the time, and even the mood. In turn, travel will be full of surprise and happiness when we open our hearts to unexpected encounters. Maybe, our future friends are waiting for us at the next station.