写了作文没有人修改吗？请戳我！！

晨依Jacqueline

考试在即，临时写篇作文练练手，希望牛牛帮助批改？
托福小白，第一次单挑托福作文，希望高人指点迷津？
如果你希望自己的托福作文得到批改或者指导，如果你希望有机会和托福作文牛牛互动交流，请和我们一起在这里参与互改接龙吧！
在这里，你不仅将获得及时的作文批改指导，还可以与其他考友、托福大牛等一起交流作文备考方法，拓展写作思路等等。
还等什么呢？快快加入，在这里post你的大作吧！这也是攒RP的好机会哦^_^

【适合人群】
希望短期提高托福作文的同学；
作文入门缺乏指导的同学；
临考求分数定位的同学；等等。
想循序渐进提高作文水平、长期互改作文的同学推荐参加写作小分队，链接为：
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-870345-1-1.html

【练习材料】不限。

【活动规则】
一、求批改同学甲在此帖子后面跟帖发表自己的作文(1楼)。
内容：考试日期、题目来源及类型(如TPO2-独立/综合写作，或X月X日预测机经)、作文题目、作文内容、写作过程中的问题或感悟、修改要求。
要求：为了节省批改同学的时间，请同学们在写完作文后自行将拼错的单词做出修改(在错误单词后面加括号，标注上正确拼写)。
二、求批改同学乙需要对甲同学的作文做认真的批改和点评(回复2楼)。并在修改完后跟帖发布自己求批改的作文(3楼)。
内容：批改文章信息(X楼-XXX的独立/综合写作)、错误、疑惑与建议、好词好句、综合点评。(内容格式详细请参考示例)。
注：因为论坛升级改版，有时候在word中编辑的内容无法显示，可上传修改文档附件。
要求：因为每个同学的复习的程度不同，不能保证批改一定会指出文章的所有缺点，如果看不出错误，也请不要吝啬标注出好词好句(这也是自己学习和积累的一个过程)；也可以在点评的时候对文章估分，写出自己的理由；还可以把自己的思路、或者自己搜到的好的表达方式、范文例句等等贴在上面。
三、后面的同学以此类推，先修改，后发帖。

奖励措施：为了鼓励同学们积极修改作文和参与，批改认真的同学有机会获得TOEFL写作专区斑竹或托福作文满分大牛的更多修改建议！
惩罚措施：不认真修改作文的同学将不被允许二次参加，只发表自己作文而不修改其他楼上文章的同学作文将不被批改。

如果所发作文3天内未被修改，可以站内短消息晨依或e-mail通知晨依来此帖修改作文，邮箱为：zxy1102(＠) 126.C0M；
由于时间和精力有限，不支持、不回复同学单独发作文到晨依邮箱修改的要求，请大家严格遵守规则。
祝大家互改愉快，也欢迎大家就托福作文在此帖进行讨论~

超级无敌小鹤鹤

== 为什么那么多人没看到这个帖子。。。

超级无敌小鹤鹤

顶起来吧

skipself

不知道这个帖子还有没有效果呢~最近写了一篇社会类的关于“是否同意政府通过提高汽油和电的价格是唯一有效鼓励人们去节能的方法”
用了两个大点去写，很久没动笔了，还请各位童鞋前辈多多指教。先谢过了
另外如果需要我去修改其他童鞋的，在下虽不才但也愿意倾力相助。
题目：
Do u agree or disagree that the only effective way for the government to encourage energy conservation is to increase the price of gasoline and electricity.

As we know, nowadays, the amount of energy consume is massive, and it is growing strikingly especially in the field of gasoline and electricity. Apparently, government wants to encourage people save the energy or stop wasting. However, I don’t think that increasing the price of gasoline and electricity is the only effective way to encourage people to conserve them.
For one reason, in order to encourage people, I think persuade or educate them is a more accessible way than request or enforce them because persuading would let people accept and follow much easier. Instead, to increase the price of daily-use energy like electricity seems like a method that push people weather to pay more money or to give up using electricity and gasoline. Additionally, if people could successfully persuaded by the government to conserve the energy, the conception of saving energy would root in the mind. It’s more effective to encourage people saving electricity and gasoline because when people were educated, they would not only stop wasting energy but also may tell others to conserve the energy together. The similar thing was happened around me that although my mother was used complain about the growing high price of petrol all the time, and she still kept driving her car to work everyday. However when I talked to her once about the serious problem caused by using fossil fuel, and the benefit of walk to work, she gave up driving immediately. Thus, I think the mild persuading is a more efficient solution of encourage people to do something.
For another reason, the increasing price of gasoline and electricity, in my opinion, is a heavy burden for average people especially for those people whose wage under the average line because the spending of resource such as electricity and gasoline is inevitable in daily life. However the rich probably won’t consider the price too much, and the evidence is that most people are not that rich among the whole society. Furthermore, there are lots of incidents showed in the past year that the growing financial burden or pressure usually lead the disturbance of society. Such as people who can’t afford the increasing tax of the governor of Qing dynasty in ancient China, they revolt and fight with the army of empire, and build the new dynasty which known as Han dynasty after a successive war and a huge sacrifice. Fortunately, financial pressure doesn’t cost a war or disturbance during the history. However it really brings lots of unnecessary burden for people also for the whole society. Therefore, gaining the price of energy won’t encourage people to save the rare energy effectively, and it perhaps will lead some negative effects.
To sum up, I deeply trust there are many better solution for encourage people to conserve the energy, and government increasing the rate of electricity and gasoline is not the only efficient way to achieve their goal of conservation.

天空的颜色

自己写好改了一遍，看了一遍的。希望晨依可以帮忙改改 。不胜感激http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-781261-1-1.html

晨依Jacqueline

perfectends 发表于 2013-10-1 10:03
认真的小晨依来啦~ 被改的孩子有福~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦~ 国庆快乐

P姐假期快乐~\(≧▽≦)/~
我最近正好也没啥事情忙，回报一下CD的孩纸们~

perfectends

晨依Jacqueline 发表于 2013-9-30 22:17
抱歉，晨依近期上CD不及时，回复较晚。
希望建议对你有帮助！加油！

认真的小晨依来啦~ 被改的孩子有福~\(≧▽≦)/~啦啦啦~ 国庆快乐

晨依Jacqueline

wakesleep2011 发表于 2013-9-29 06:12
The lecture rejects the ideas presented in the reading passage that the zebra mussel's invasion cann ...

抱歉，晨依近期上CD不及时，回复较晚。
希望建议对你有帮助！加油！

晨依Jacqueline

超级无敌小鹤鹤 发表于 2013-9-25 08:18
终于把晨依这个帖子挖出来了。。。没写小分队题目但是想要互改的看过来！！！ ...

！！！！！

wakesleep2011

还请大牛及时批阅，多谢了！