人僧第一篇Arguement92，求拍！

zyq645

Argument 92 .101.103    2012.11.2

Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.

ARG 92.103：Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument..（指出可能的原因）

ARG 101:Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.（攻击假设）


提纲：
指出其他原因
【首段】重述观点+说明逻辑+指出问题

【主体论证】——指出其他3种可能

1.可能是自然环境比较好。M的市民要面对汽车尾气、光污染之类更多的污染，这些都可能对身体危害更大。这就解释了论据1。同时这种不好的生活环境也会增加人们的压力，这就解释了论据2
2.人们的心态也是一个很重要的原因。小城镇的人心态更简单，因为他们 don't have much to lose or win.但是大城市的人会面对更多诱惑，让他们更加功利。他们必须为了更高的工作，升职之类的问题挣扎。这导致他们会有更多的压力，这就解释了为什么会有更有的压力疾病；也解释了为什么Masonton的人有更多人休病假。
3.作者忽视了当地健康政策的差异。

The author slapdash concludes that the health benefits of Leeville's relaxed living pace account for the divergent facts presented. The conclusion is merely grounded on the comparison between Leeville, which a small town, and Masonton, which is a large city. However, the predicament lies in that the speaker erroneously establishes the statement by neglect other reasonable explanations.

Firstly, one plausible reason for the differences is presumably the environmental distinctions  between Leeville and Masonton. Living in a big city, Masonton's citizens are compelled to tolerate the automobile emission, the pollutants for modern factories and unhealthy junk food, which are all detrimental to individual health condition. On the contrary, the residents from Leeville are blessed with fresher air and possibly more nutritious meals. It's prudent to speculate that workers in Masonton might be more likely to confront undesirable health problems due to apparent disadvantages in surroundings. What is even worse is that the knotty environment problems could decline the self-satisfaction of Masonton's people, which will indirectly aggravate the mental intensions and increase patients with stress-related illness in Masonton.

Secondly, the diverse mind-sets between inhabitants from Leeville and Masonton are alternative explanation, which counters the argument proposed by the author. Generally speaking, the populace in a small town, such as Leeville, will embrace a comparatively simpler living philosophy. It's because that the multitude do not have much either to win or lose. Nevertheless, when reside in a bigger city, you will inevitably encounter more temptations, which presumably seduces people to perform in a more utilitarian way. They are compelled to struggle for a higher salaries, more promotion opportunities, adequate money to imburse next month rent. The immeasurable desire is attributable to the tension problems in Masonton, and consequently lead to more stress-related illness, which is also blame for more sick days in Masonton's workers.

Additionally, the speaker fails to take the distinct domestic government health policy into consideration. Probably, the administration of Leeville are more solicitous about the mental health of its populace, and therefore implement more measures to improve the mental health condition, such as providing financial aid to free psychological consultations for the public. In contrast, the Masonton government presumably concentrate on other issues, such as health insurance reform,  and ignore the significance of individual mentality. The variation between these two cities' policies will influence the overall mental situation. Fewer sick leave by individual workers and fewer reports about stress-related illness in Leeville could be due to the emphasis on policies concerning mental health.

Conclusively, the paragraph merely elaborate a the superficial explanations of the information mentioned. To consolidate the conclusion, the speaker have to offer more persuasive evidence to exclude other influential factors.

zyq645

这个题目我感觉大部分都是自己在说，基本脱离了题目本身，所以心里没底似的

-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/11/3 22:19:51)

我是看下面那个description才这么干的，不这么写感觉又有点不符合这个要求...略纠结

竹林中人

这个题目我感觉大部分都是自己在说，基本脱离了题目本身，所以心里没底似的

zyq645

LZ，不好意思，刚才错误操作，貌似把你第二篇给删掉了，实在抱歉
上面这篇文章，想跟ＬＺ探讨下的是，这个题目给出的内容实在很少，而且这个找ａｌｔｅｒｎａｔｉｖｅ　ｅｘｐｌａｎａｔｉｏｎ　的ｉｎｓｔｒｕｃｔｉｏｎ开放性很大，所以看到你的提纲之后突然发现之前的理解有偏差了，你的逻辑思路是怎么样的呢？

-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/11/3 21:31:17)

额……我没有看懂神马意思

竹林中人

LZ，不好意思，刚才错误操作，貌似把你第二篇给删掉了，实在抱歉
上面这篇文章，想跟ＬＺ探讨下的是，这个题目给出的内容实在很少，而且这个找ａｌｔｅｒｎａｔｉｖｅ　ｅｘｐｌａｎａｔｉｏｎ　的ｉｎｓｔｒｕｃｔｉｏｎ开放性很大，所以看到你的提纲之后突然发现之前的理解有偏差了，你的逻辑思路是怎么样的呢？