过几天考试，求诸位大侠狠拍~

safeandsound

纯属到这里来找来找罪受的~~各位大侠和大牛们一定狠拍啊、、求建议啊~

jiaosisisisi

Grades encourage students to learn
The importance of grades never changes. Though it is not the whole story of studying, it indeed is a crucial factor in（to） apply for schools, scholarships, and sometimes even work（for a job）. Due to its importance, students always pay great attention to their transcripts, which can actually be a kind of stimulus.
首段第一句开头非常新颖。吸引人~
从句主句运用自如，
而且最后加入了非限定性定语从句~~也很自然，赞~~
To start with, grades show which level a student is in. Stimulated by their grades, students, especially the ambitious ones, can pay attention to their drawbacks and move forward. As for students who are of average level, they can not only get satisfaction defeating others, but also find a goal to reach, maybe just exceed their friends by receiving a higher score next time. And the influence on good students is more obvious.（Take me as an example，） When we had our first test in middle school, thinking（considering）that exams might just be the same as they were primary schools, none of us prepared carefully for our finals. However, after knowing the ranking of ourselves（our rank）, we all found that grades played a significant role in our study at this middle school, which is one of the best in our province. Next time, weeks before, some diligent students have already begun acing exams. Most students in my class made an overt progress.
Moreover, not only do grades play an important part when students are studying in their present school, but also after their graduation. Thus, students will work hard in order to get the best education in the best universities or work in a Top 100 company. In the beginning of 20th century in China, only a few people can read and write. However, after the founding of China in 1949, the literacy rate increased rapidly: more than eighty percent of Chinese have received education and almost half of the citizens have studied in colleges and universities. This means a more intense competition is going on. And it is higher grades that can lead them to success directly, since grades are the most apparent factors that are presented to admission officers.
呵呵，这一段的开头用了not only but also 的倒装句，是个亮点，不过省略了主语以后 but also 分句读起来有些吃力，建议可以精简。后面的部分语法非常通畅，值得我学习~~~
However, teachers and parents should point out a right way for students to look upon their scores. Without this kind of instruction, complacency and frustration, which are always the reasons for regardlessness of study, cannot be prevented. What’s more, students might not keep moving when they leave the ranking system, as all they know is to get a delightful transcript.
呵呵，这一段的让步，转折，非常有必要。让全文的逻辑更加严谨，辩证地看待了TOPIC给出的命题，非常值得我学习
In a nutshell, motivated by their grades, students can easily improve, only if they can view their score appropriately
.结尾非常简洁，但是跟首句相比，过于简短，我觉得应该首尾相称，把自己的分论点汇总一下，加以说明，我觉得可能会更好，最后祝福你顺利攻克托福考试~~

safeandsound

谢谢Sophia~
话说这里听力基本上没问题，到了听力Section就会出问题了、、听懂题做不对、、

safeandsound

没事的、、你的已经改完了，请查收

jiaosisisisi

我马上给你改，我的文章在这里  
9 17 的 独立
麻烦你了
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-744352-1-1.html

SophieS123

9月17日 综合 修改
The speaker finds the opinions state（stated） in the passage about the 3 advantages of applying genetic modification to trees are unconvincing.

According to the passage genetic modified trees can ensure their survival in hard conditions. However, the speaker argues that this is unlikely the case. These trees only resist to some condition that are considered and designed, but not all, whereas natural trees are more diverse in genes, which means some individual(加复数) can still survive in some harsh conditions, such as infestation and climate changes. Genetic modified plants are more likely （加to）all die if unexpected environmental changes appear.

Another benefit showed by the writer is that farmers can spend less money with higher yield, which also seems doubtful to the professor. This special kind of seeds, indicated in the lecture, is costing. Plus, farmers cannot collect seeds from genetic modified trees and plant them, as this is illicit. A great amount of money should be paid to(删去to) every time they plant.

Finally, the speaker points out that these genetic modified trees will bring negative effect to nature. Since they are more aggressive than the native ones and, to make matter worse, usually planted among those trees, modified trees out compete for resources and crowd out the natural trees. Therefore the statement in the passage that this special kind of trees can save rare species and meet the need of people for wood cannot stand for itself.

These are the reasons why the speaker disagrees with writer’s ideas.

总结：感觉语法错误非常少，听力太到位了！！完全没有遗漏的点！！表达也不错~但是字数似乎有一点点多……总体感觉比上一篇有进步！

safeandsound

Grades encourage students to learn

The importance of grades never changes. Though it is not the whole story of studying, it indeed is a crucial factor in applying for schools, scholarships, and sometimes even work. Due to its importance, students always pay great attention to their transcripts, which can actually be a kind of stimulus.

To start with, grades show which level a student is in. Stimulated by their grades, students, especially the ambitious ones, can pay attention to their drawbacks and move forward. As for students who are of average level, they can not only get satisfaction defeating others, but also find a goal to reach, maybe just exceed their friends by receiving a higher score next time. And the influence on good students is more obvious. When we had our first test in middle school, thinking that exams might just be the same as they were primary schools, none of us prepared carefully for our finals. However, after knowing the ranking of ourselves, we all found that grades played a significant role in our study at this middle school, which is one of the best in our province. Next time, weeks before, some diligent students have already begun acing exams. Most students in my class made an overt progress.

Moreover, not only do grades play an important part when students are studying in their present school, but also after their graduation. Thus, students will work hard in order to get the best education in the best universities or work in a Top 100 company. In the beginning of 20^th century in China, only a few people can read and write. However, after the founding of China in 1949, the literacy rate increased rapidly: more than eighty percent of Chinese have received education and almost half of the citizens have studied in colleges and universities. This means a more intense competition is going on. And it is higher grades that can lead them to success directly, since grades are the most apparent factors that are presented to admission officers.

However, teachers and parents should point out a right way for students to look upon their scores. Without this kind of instruction, complacency and frustration, which are always the reasons for regardlessness of study, cannot be prevented. What’s more, students might not keep moving when they leave the ranking system, as all they know is to get a delightful transcript.

In a nutshell, motivated by their grades, students can easily improve, only if they can view their score appropriately.

safeandsound

The speaker finds the opinions state in the passage about the 3 advantages of applying genetic modification to trees are unconvincing.

According to the passage genetic modified trees can ensure their survival in hard conditions. However, the speaker argues that this is unlikely the case. These trees only resist to some condition that are considered and designed, but not all, whereas natural trees are more diverse in genes, which means some individual can still survive in some harsh conditions, such as infestation and climate changes. Genetic modified plants are more likely all die if unexpected environmental changes appear.

Another benefit showed by the writer is that farmers can spend less money with higher yield, which also seems doubtful to the professor. This special kind of seeds, indicated in the lecture, is costing. Plus, farmers cannot collect seeds from genetic modified trees and plant them, as this is illicit. A great amount of money should be paid to every time they plant.

Finally, the speaker points out that these genetic modified trees will bring negative effect to nature. Since they are more aggressive than the native ones and, to make matter worse, usually planted among those trees, modified trees out compete for resources and crowd out the natural trees. Therefore the statement in the passage that this special kind of trees can save rare species and meet the need of people for wood cannot stand for itself.

These are the reasons why the speaker disagrees with writer’s ideas.
【未脱产、、时间有点紧张、、抱歉哈~

safeandsound

哦哦、、谢谢、、差点认为你不给我改了呢、、误会了、、

himiko0607

因为我在美国有时差，希望交得不算太晚：）