痛下决心写作文，无论最开始有多烂，都要坚持写下去！

爱吃雪梅

一个多月前开始准备托福，期间各种耽误，怠惰，旅游，一眨眼离考试就只有两个多月了，依旧是托福门外汉。痛定思痛下决定开始努力。咨询了某位写作满分的好友（他初战写作24分，二战写作30分），他给出的答案就是练！！！
所以，从今天开始，按照写作小分队的独立写作题目，每天写一篇。二十四小时之内再挂上自己修改后的版本。欢迎大家拍砖！
因为现有水平确实不够资格给大家改，所以决定练习一段时间后，再正式申请加入小分队，互相修改。
ps：从这个论坛获益良多（我的tpo就是这里下载的），却刚刚注册号码，委实羞愧啊……

imajuana

求加入小分队，我上次考作文27分，Gmat考得还行，可以和大家互相学习，求加入~~

爱吃雪梅

我想请他写点啥~！！！

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/25 22:24:30)

是说我那个朋友吗？他独立写作练了不到三十篇，其中12篇有练习稿。都在我这里。我可以征求一下他的意见，看能不能把其中的某篇发上来。不过他的练习稿都是计时半小时写的，不是那种精心修改过的版本。他告诉我，考试的时候因为有压力，所以字数比平时练习还要多不少，字数多很重要。

-- by 会员 爱吃雪梅 (2012/6/26 8:32:39)

是啊，考试时候都拼命敲键盘的。想请他写点写作经验，方法指导类的心经。或者加入咱们写作小分队，当个指导老师啥的。

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/27 23:07:56)

他在准备lsat，同时在准备司考，恨不得一天当两天用，没有空过来啊。
不过他给我讲过几个要点。第一，开头要长，要精心准备，他三十分钟作文时间会给自己留出八到十分钟写开头。第二，中间三段不要用first，second，之类的连接词，因为托福阅读就从来不会用这些词。同时，中间段落开头最好用长句子，在能驾驭的范围内越复杂越好。然后是例子，每段必须有，他说因为外国人很笨的，你不说例子他们就不懂。然后每段最好有个小结，当然不能刻意。第三，注意性别，尽量不要用he之类的词，否则会被认为性别歧视。
然后就是多练了，比如我这个被他批到烂的习作，就是因为小错误太多（比如主语是复数谓语却用is之类的），他的意思是这类的小错误虽然有可能只是笔误，但会立刻降低批卷人对作文的评级，所以千万不要有。
哦，还有，他说任何句式都不要反复用，比如他以前爱用虚拟语气，结果通篇都是虚拟语气，后来被外教批评了。
大概就这么多吧，其实和网上的攻略都差不多，关键还是自己练，看别人的心得看的再多也比不过自己认真练三十篇。

Crystaljoy

我想请他写点啥~！！！

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/25 22:24:30)

是说我那个朋友吗？他独立写作练了不到三十篇，其中12篇有练习稿。都在我这里。我可以征求一下他的意见，看能不能把其中的某篇发上来。不过他的练习稿都是计时半小时写的，不是那种精心修改过的版本。他告诉我，考试的时候因为有压力，所以字数比平时练习还要多不少，字数多很重要。

-- by 会员 爱吃雪梅 (2012/6/26 8:32:39)

是啊，考试时候都拼命敲键盘的。想请他写点写作经验，方法指导类的心经。或者加入咱们写作小分队，当个指导老师啥的。

爱吃雪梅

我想请他写点啥~！！！

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/6/25 22:24:30)

是说我那个朋友吗？他独立写作练了不到三十篇，其中12篇有练习稿。都在我这里。我可以征求一下他的意见，看能不能把其中的某篇发上来。不过他的练习稿都是计时半小时写的，不是那种精心修改过的版本。他告诉我，考试的时候因为有压力，所以字数比平时练习还要多不少，字数多很重要。

爱吃雪梅

是说我那个朋友吗？他独立写作练了不到三十篇，其中12篇有练习稿。都在我这里。我可以征求一下他的意见，看能不能把其中的某篇发上来。不过他的练习稿都是计时半小时写的，不是那种精心修改过的版本。他告诉我，考试的时候因为有压力，所以字数比平时练习还要多不少，字数多很重要。

Crystaljoy

我想请他写点啥~！！！

爱吃雪梅

6月25日，独立   未修改版
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?



A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.



Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.




 Imagine a scene that the teacher couldn't answer questions every time you have to ask him. Do you really think its good?
  Since teacher is a career that teach students and make them get more informations about the world in a systematic way, the most important things for this career is knowing these informations before one teach youngs. When I was a high school student, I felt I was just young and uncertain--there were so many lessons I had unknown before needed me to learn. Fortunately, however, I met an old teacher who had excellent knowledge of the subject being taught. Every time I had a problem, I went to ask him, and he would give me the precise answer. Thanks to him, my score went higher eventually.
   The right manner and hard work is the way to the success. Every teacher who knows his subject perfectly also means he has a character of diligence. Indeed, I always believe that teacher's character can influence his students,and there's a real sample happened in my friends. Jim is a teenager who did not study hard at first, but after three years at highschool, he changed drastically. The most important reason about the change him told me was that he had a teacher who was rich in knowledge.
    On the contrary, relating well with student is not so important. Although this ability has done more in improving relationship between teachers and students, it's done less in increasing the content of knowledge. For instants, if you have a question to be asked, but the teacher only told you:"sorry, I don't know either,"what you may think at that time? If these things always happen, the student's study would surely be delayed.
     In summary, the teacher who has excellent knowledge of the suject can do more in improving students' study and give students better influence  on their character. So, I really disagree with this statement.




修改版   红字为修改部分
Imagine a situationthata teacher couldn't answer questions everytime you have to ask him/her. Do you really think its good?

  Since teacher is a career that teach students and make them get more knowledge about the world in a systematic way, the most important things for this career is masteringwhat being taught before one teaches youngs. When I was a high school student, I felt I was just young and uncertain--there were so many lessons I had unknown before were needed to learn. Fortunately, however, I met an old teacher who had excellent knowledge of the subject being taught. Everytime I had a problem, I went to ask him, and he would give me the precise answer. Thanks to him, my score went higher eventually.It's just as an old Chinese saying "the mission of teacher is to impart knowledge and solve doubts", obviously, a learned teacher do it better.

Teachers who know theirsubject perfectly also means they are accustomed to hard working, because right manner and diligencebring success. As a matter of fact,for students have a nature of mimicry, their characters are apt to be influenced by those of teacher's, and there's a real sample happened in my friends. Jim is a teenager who did not study hard at first, but after three years at highschool, he changed drastically. Thesignificant reason about the change he told me was that he had a teacher who was rich in knowledge and worked hard.Apparently, good character in study is certainly well to be imitated, and really helpful for students.

However, It does not necessarily mean that teachers do not need to have the ability to relate well with their students, which is essential in improving students' study efficiency. But it does mean that knowing well of knowledge weigh heavily against getting well with students, because shool is commonly recognized as a place to get knowledge and getting well with students has done less in increasingthe total amount ofknowledge.

    In summary, teachers are expected to impart knowledge and solve questionsin an appropriate way, which will help students form their own knowledge hierarchy, and are also expected to be a good model which students can imitate. And the teacher who has excellent knowledge of the subject being taught is just the one we need.

再次修改版，第二版被同学大修了一次，555，我犯了好多低级错误而不自知
Imagine thatateacher couldn't alwaysanswer questions wheneverbeing asked by a student, then could he/she be qualified as a good teacher?



Since teaching is a career that teaches students and prepares them get more knowledge about the world in a systematic way, one of the basic requirements for teachers istomasterwhatshould be taught before they teach students. When I was a high school student, I felt that I was just young and uncertain--there were so many lessons I had notknown before. Fortunately, however, I met an old teacher who had excellent knowledge of the subject being taught. Everytime I had a problem, I went to ask him, and he would give me the precise answer. Thanks to him, my score went higher eventually.It's just as an old Chinese saying "the mission of teacher is to impart knowledge and solve doubts", obviously, a learned teacher do it better.

 Every teacher who knowshis/hersubject perfectly also hasa character of diligence, because right manner and diligencebring success. As a matter of fact,since students have a nature of mimicry, their characters are apt to be influenced by those of teachers', and there's a real sample happened toone of my friends. Jim is a teenager who did not study hard at first, but after three years at highschool, hemade progress dramatically.The most important reason for the change, as he told me, was that he had a teacher who was rich in knowledge and worked hard.Apparently, a good learning habit is worthy ofbeing imitated and is really helpful for students.

 However, It does not necessarily mean that teachers do not need to have the ability to relate well with their students, which can be somehow useful. But it does mean that the limited benefits of a good relationship can easily be outweighed/overwhelmed by the enormous advantages of knowing well of knowledge,considering thata school is commonly recognized as a place to acquire knowledge, and getting well with students can help littleincreasethe total amount ofknowledge.

In summary, teachers are expected to impart knowledge and solve questionsin an appropriate way, which will equipe students with their own knowledge hierarchy, and are also expected to set a good example which students can readilyfollow. Thus,it is the teacher who has excellent knowledge of the subject being taught is just the very one we really need.