ChaseDream
搜索
返回列表 发新帖
查看: 13022|回复: 77
打印 上一主题 下一主题

【写作小分队】sang的作文贴,求狠拍!

[复制链接]
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2012-5-4 18:18:22 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式
5.4 独立

It is undeniable that money plays an indispensable part in our everyday life and supplies us all life can offer. However, when it comes to the issue whether the main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status, it becomes a controversial one because people have different background and values. As far as I’m concerned, I strongly refute the idea that money is more important than social status.
To start with, money can only provide us with material enjoyment in contradiction with social status, offering us spiritual enjoyment. People dies and their wealth will finally disappear, however, it is their social status remain immortal. Mother Teresa, who spend her whole life time assisting people who need help, poor as she was, she was remembered by people all over the world and her spirit has a profound influence and never ceases growing with us. Chopin, who even cannot afford an apartment through his lifetime, composed plenty of classical compositions which inspire thousands of people to move forward when confronted with difficulties. The examples above best demonstrate the importance of social status, there is no excuse to make money the major purpose for people who have jobs.
Secondly, it is not uncommon that when someone succeed in obtaining social status, wealth and approval follow in succession. The founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, created the apple company just at the mere ambition to change the world. As a result, not only did his products enjoy gigantic popularity among people all round world, but also did he become one of the most affluent people in the world.  
Last but not the least, money functions as something that satisfies our human being, in this way, we should by no means work just for money and make us the slaves of money. People who work intending to earn money as much as possible as can carelessly neglect the beauty and happiness of life. Nothing can be compared, with the joyful smile from their children’s face, the praise from their parents or even the leisure time when a family stay together around the table or in front of the television. Never let money get in your way of enjoying the happiest moment in life.
In conclusion, in view of social influence and personal reputation, we can never emphasize too much on money. Each individual is supposed to make efforts to attain social statue rather than wealth.
收藏收藏 收藏收藏
78#
发表于 2012-9-19 21:02:29 | 只看该作者
TPO22

The issue at hand is whether ethanol is a good replacement of gasoline. The reading uses three reasons to convince us that ethanol is not a better choice over gasoline, but the professor points out that all the reasons are skeptical.

To start with, according to the reading, the use of ethanol fuel would account for global warming because it releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. According to the professor, even he admits the release of carbon dioxide, he also claims that ethanol is made of corn and those released carbon dioxide can be absorbed by corn(我感觉是因为在植物在生长过程中吸收的CARBON DIOXIDE,而不仅仅是RELESED CARBON DIOXIDE.也就是吸收在前,释放在后). At that note, the plants can conterpart the carbon dioxide produced during burning process, so the first reason is questionable.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading that production of ethanol would reduce amounts of plants available for uses other than fuel(看不懂这里的OHTER THAN FUEL是啥意思……可能是我水平低也……) cannot satisfy the professor, either. He mentions that ethanol is also produced by a component of cell wall, which is not eaten by animals.这一点你听懂的好棒……= = 我其实是因为这点完全没听懂。。然后看的原文才补充的啦……汗一个……

Finally, the third reason mentions in the reading is that ethanol fuel will never be able to compete with gasline on price. In order to refute the reading, the professor indicates that if more ethanol is needed, its production would increase, resulting in drop of ethanol price. That is, if the production of ethanol is three times as it is now, the price would decrease by 40%. Accordingly, although the government subsidies are true, the price of ethanol is still likely to decline. (个人感觉最后一句的逻辑应该是, 即使政府不补贴了,乙醇汽油价格依然会下降。而不是:虽然政府补贴是真,乙醇汽油价格依然会下降。。不过我有点鸡蛋挑骨头了哈哈)



总体感觉挺好的。要点很全。 感谢你的批改~~~一起加油!!> <!!!
77#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-9-18 17:14:54 | 只看该作者
3, A/D. Although science and technologywill continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality ofpeople’s lives have already taken place.
Currently,technology is expanding at an ever-increasing rate, and it is undoubtedly thatthe advanced technology has largely improved our living standard.  Among those exciting improvement areinvention of computer, cellphone and space exploration, etc. Therefore,quantities of people agree that the most significant improvement for thequality of people’s lives have already taken place. However, from myperspective, I just doubt that the former view cannot bear much analysis.

Initially,with the constantly changing technology, both medical equipment and therapymethods have come to a high level. Diseases, such as pneumonia and small pox,that cannot be cured in past, are able to be overcame with the newest medicaltechnology. Nevertheless, there are still myriad of people suffer from cancerand leukaemia, and doctors can do nothing to deal with those sickness butwitness those serious illness deprive their lives. So cruel and heart-breakingthis situation is and new treatment must have to be come out in order to savepeople’s lives. At that note, it is too harsh to arrive at the conclusion thatthe most important improvement for the quality of people’s lives has alreadytaken place.

Furthermore,even though the advancement of technology has provided people with betterliving environment, like modern house, peaceful neighborhood as harmoniousatmosphere, the influence of natural resource is still a great concern formajorities of people. I still remember the earthquake in Wenchuan 4 years ago.Those buildings were too weak to withhold the strong power of wave and crasheddown almost with minutes, resulting in hundreds of thousands people’s death.The poor condition of transportation also decreased the efficiency of savingprocess. Considering this, scientists are supposed to develop useful method topredict natural disaster, thus offering people sufficient time to move to safeplaces. Moreover, measures should also be taken to improve the structure ofbuilding as well as transportation construction.

Admittedly,the speed at which technology is developing has increased at a phenomenal rate.People enjoy the advantages in various of aspects: the globalization, which isprone to shrink the world and bring people closer, modernization as well asurbanization. In spite of this, I still cannot assert that the most vitalimprovement has already occurred. In view of problems that come with theadvanced technology, amounts of endeavors are required to come up witheffective solutions, and it is difficult to judge which one is of greatestsignificance.
Ina nutshell, taking the potential of human wisdom and necessity to resolve theproblems exist nowadays, on no account can we jump to the conclusion that themost important improvement for the quality of people’s lives has already takenplace.

76#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-9-18 15:31:10 | 只看该作者
TPO22

The issue at hand is whether ethanol is a good replacement of gasoline. The reading uses three reasons to convince us that ethanol is not a better choice over gasoline, but the professor points out that all the reasons are skeptical.

To start with, according to the reading, the use of ethanol fuel would account for global warming because it releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. According to the professor, even he admits the release of carbon dioxide, he also claims that ethanol is made of corn and those released carbon dioxide can be absorbed by corn. At that note, the plants can conterpart the carbon dioxide produced during burning process, so the first reason is questionable.

Furthermore, the statement in the reading that production of ethanol would reduce amounts of plants available for uses other than fuel cannot satisfy the professor, either. He mentions that ethanol is also produced by a component of cell wall, which is not eaten by animals.

Finally, the third reason mentions in the reading is that ethanol fuel will never be able to compete with gasline on price. In order to refute the reading, the professor indicates that if more ethanol is needed, its production would increase, resulting in drop of ethanol price. That is, if the production of ethanol is three times as it is now, the price would decrease by 40%. Accordingly, although the government subsidies are true, the price of ethanol is still likely to decline.
75#
发表于 2012-9-16 21:57:51 | 只看该作者
抱歉来完了~写的很好哟学习之~~~
Professorsare considered well-respected people who educate students and contribute to thedevelopment of our society. When it comes to the issue about the (有必要加这个吧)major responsibility of professor, a group of people wouldadmit that they are supposed to devote themselves into scientific research,thus promoting our living standard. From my perspective, however, I still agreethat the main role of professor is educating students.

First and foremost, university plays anindispensable part in everyone’s life. People spare no effort to attenduniversity at the mere wish to obtain as much knowledge as possible. It isprofessor who acts as an illustrator to meet students’ need. I still remembermy first German teacher, a renowned professor in our department, at college.She has a perfect command of German and unique way of education, and she waswilling to spend most time with us, answering our questions, telling usinteresting cultural stories as well as discussing with us. So enjoyable wewere in her class that I made enormous progress in that year and developedgreat passion about that subject. At that note, it is never too exaggerated toassert that professor plays an important role in educating students.
例子真棒~~~

Furthermore, compared with material and otherlearning techniques, prof
essors are unique resource because of theiraccumulative experience. They can either share their personal experience, orprovide students with suggestion based on examples of their previous students. For instance, Iattended a management course during my junior year(偷偷问一下,这是第几年?三or一?), thecourse was taught by a professor who had just returned from overseas. She often shared herexperience at a different region and gave us lessons from genuine situation.Moreover, she always told us successful stories of our schoolmates (alumnus如何?)  and offered usadvice about career path. All she taught us wereàwas somethingthat we cannot learn from dissertations or textbook. Under such circumstances,it goes without saying that professor plays a dominant role in students’development.

Admittedly, research is part of professors’ work.They need to takeover projects not only to maintain their reputation, but alsolead to general improvement of the society. Nevertheless, I still insist thatresearch is of less importance than educating students. Scientists andresearchers can share the responsibility of conducting research withprofessors, while no one is able to cultivate students on behalf of them.

In a nutshell, in view of professors’ significanceof bringing knowledge to students as well as leading them to an appropriateway, I just come to the conclusion that the main role of university professoris to educate students rather than conduct research.




我水平不高~真心看不出大问题~
满满的赞美
74#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-9-15 20:45:54 | 只看该作者
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

Professors are considered well-respected people who educate students and contribute to the development of our society. When it comes to the issue about major responsibility of professor, a group of people would admit that they are supposed to devote themselves into scientific research, thus promoting our living standard. From my perspective, however, I still agree that the main role of professor is educating students.

First and foremost, university plays an indispensable part in everyone’s life. People spare no effort to attend university at the mere wish to obtain as much knowledge as possible. It is professor who acts as an illustrator to meet students’ need. I still remember my first German teacher, a renowned professor in our department, at college. She has a perfect command of German and unique way of education, and she was willing to spend most time with us, answering our questions, telling us interesting cultural stories as well as discussing with us. So enjoyable we were in her class that I made enormous progress in that year and developed great passion about that subject. At that note, it is never too exaggerated to assert that professor plays an important role in educating students.

Furthermore, compared with material and other learning techniques, professors are unique resource because of their accumulative experience. They can either share their personal experience, or provide students with suggestion based on examples of their previous students. For instance, I attended a management course during my junior year, the course was taught by a professor who just returned from overseas. She often shared her experience at a different region and gave us lessons from genuine situation. Moreover, she always told us successful stories of our schoolmates and offered us advice about career path. All she taught us were something that we cannot learn from dissertations or textbook. Under such circumstances, it goes without saying that professor plays a dominant role in students’ development.

Admittedly, research is part of professors’ work. They need to takeover projects not only to maintain their reputation, but also lead to general improvement of the society. Nevertheless, I still insist that research is of less importance than educating students. Scientists and researchers can share the responsibility of conducting research with professors, while no one is able to cultivate students on behalf of them.

In a nutshell, in view of professors’ significance of bringing knowledge to students as well as leading them to an appropriate way, I just come to the conclusion that the main role of university professor is to educate students rather than conduct research.
73#
发表于 2012-7-15 09:57:39 | 只看该作者
7.12

Such profoundinfluence university exerts on us that almost every people attend college fordifferent reasons. It is undeniably that university serves people in variousways. One of the major roles, from my perspective, is definitely to offer morecourses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Initially, majority of people consider universitya quick path and platform for future career. They attend college at the merewish to gain as much knowledge as possible, thus better preparing for futurecareer. For instance, for history major students, university is supposed toprovide them with all kinds of subjects. Learning basic physics can they better understand thecertain structure and function of an important invention, and getting known ofliterature are they able to have a deeper view of poetry's life. (倒装好像有点奇怪。Basic physics courses can better their masteryof certain structure and function of an important invention, and literaturecourses can cultivate their deep view of poetry’s life.) And for science major students, a series ofresearch course are imperative(好词) for them to accumulate experience, becoming proficient and skillful in their fields(becoming就没有修饰对象了,语法不对,改为to accumulate experience and thus becomeproficient and skillful in their fields). Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert thatenormous classes are of vast importance.


Moreover, students with dual-degree seem to enjoygreater popularity when searching jobs, and that is why many universities haveoffered students opportunities to take an addictive degree, namely, morecourses in another area. Take my friend Amy as example, she spend her weekendtime studying finance as minor during college years. After graduate, sheeffortlessly found a job owing to her comprehensive ability and abundantknowledge. Not only did she have fun learning new subjects, it alsoassisted her in the way of future career. (这里的it指代不清) At that note, we cannot emphasize too much on the impactknowledge has.


Admittedly, a group of people may worry about thepressure students burden from numerous courses and the decrease of study efficiency(learning efficiency). However, as far as I am concerned, collegestudents are capable of making an appropriate schedule for themselves. Moreimportantly, the time spend on study is more valuable and meaningful than thatwasted on countless computer games and social activities.


In a nutshell, in view of the significant partknowledge plays in the way of preparing for future career, I can safely drawthe conclusion that it is necessary for university to offer students morecourses.

不好意思这两天纠结,改晚了。
sang写得很好啊~语言丰富,例子生动~加油!


72#
发表于 2012-7-13 16:21:22 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The issue at hand is whether a paining attributed to Rembrandt. The professor uses three reasons to convince us the work belongs to Rembrandt, totally contradicting to the statements in the reading.

To start with, according to the reading, the way wom
en dressed was inconsistent with Rembrandt’s style. However, the lecturer pointed out that the fur collar was not part of original painting, In order to increase the value, people added the fur collar over the top of original piece after 100 years it finished.

Furthermore, the claim in the reading that the light and shadow do not fit together cannot satisfy the professor, either. She refuted by stating that
after removed the addictive part, people can easily see(是用过去时和前句一致么?) a light color glove, which reflected the light and illuminated the face. At that note, the light was realistic and suited Rembrandt’s way.

Finally, in order to rebut the reading that Rembrandt’s work was unlikely to make on a panel glued wood as this one, the professor indicated that the wood panel enlarged after addictive part attached to it. More evidence showed that both pieces of the wood panel of such work and another of her painting come from the same tree.

不错不错,用词简洁自然。呵呵
71#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-12 20:02:05 | 只看该作者
TPO3 综合


The issue at hand is whether a paining attributed to Rembrandt. The professor uses three reasons to convince us the work belongs to Rembrandt, totally contradicting to the statements in the reading.

To start with, according to the reading, the way women dressed was inconsistent with Rembrandt’s style. However, the lecturer pointed out that the fur collar was not part of original painting, In order to increase the value, people added the fur collar over the top of original piece after 100 years it finished.

Furthermore, the claim in the reading that the light and shadow do not fit together cannot satisfy the professor, either. She refuted by stating that after removed the addictive part, people can easily see a light color glove, which reflected the light and illuminated the face. At that note, the light was realistic and suited Rembrandt’s way.

Finally, in order to rebut the reading that Rembrandt’s work was unlikely to make on a panel glued wood as this one, the professor indicated that the wood panel enlarged after addictive part attached to it. More evidence showed that both pieces of the wood panel of such work and another of her painting come from the same tree.
70#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-12 20:00:53 | 只看该作者
7,,12独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that colleges or universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Such profound influence university exerts on us that almost every people attend college for different reasons. It is undeniably that university serves people in various ways. One of the major roles, from my perspective, is definitely to offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

Initially, majority of people consider university a quick path and platform for future career. They attend college at the mere wish to gain as much knowledge as possible, thus better preparing for future career. For instance, for history major students, university is supposed to provide them with all kinds of subjects. Learning basic physics can they better understand the certain structure and function of an important invention, and getting known of literature are they able to have a deeper view of poetry's life. And for science major students, a series of research course are imperative for them to accumulate experience, becoming proficient and skillful in their fields. Under such circumstance, it is never too exaggerated to assert that enormous classes are of vast importance.

Moreover, students with dual-degree seem to enjoy greater popularity when searching jobs, and that is why many universities have offered students opportunities to take an addictive degree, namely, more courses in another area. Take my friend Amy as example, she spend her weekend time studying finance as minor during college years. After graduate, she effortlessly found a job owing to her comprehensive ability and abundant knowledge. Not only did she have fun learning new subjects, it also assisted her in the way of future career. At that note, we cannot emphasize too much on the impact knowledge has.

Admittedly, a group of people may worry about the pressure students burden from numerous courses and the decrease of study efficiency. However, as far as I am concerned, college students are capable of making an appropriate schedule for themselves. More importantly, the time spend on study is more valuable and meaningful than that wasted on countless computer games and social activities.

In a nutshell, in view of the significant part knowledge plays in the way of preparing for future career, I can safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for university to offer students more courses .
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS


近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-12-5 11:53
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部