瓜瓜卷土重来啦！！！！

瓜瓜不瓜

谢谢晨依将我领进了写作小分队

512托福首战，10天不算不算多不算少，疯狂写作吧！！！！！！
废话不多说，先谢谢各位给我改作文的兄弟姐妹们！！！

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今天是6月22日，一个多月以后我胡汉三又回来啦！！！！
Go on and on!!!!
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928 920T出分，看到分数，真的哭了出来。谢谢这一路上陪伴我的人们。除了感谢，不知道要说什么。默默祝愿T写作版有越来越多的CDers获益。

瓜瓜不瓜

Some people think university professor should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time education students.




There is no doubt that university professors play an essential role in the development of technology, as well as that of society(你這兒as well as並列的是兩個develoment吧，一個是技術的發展，一個是人類社會的發展). The question is what they should focus on. When it comes to the topic whether university professors should devote themselves to research or to the education of students, opinions vary from person to person.(這兒的話，兩句話其實在意思上是重複的。。。所以應該合併一下，或者乾脆把第一句去掉。。。還有啊，第二句我覺得可以把主句移到前面，也就是：However, opinions vary from person to person when it comes to the topic whether XXXXX. 因為這句話裏面主句比較短，所以避免頭中腳輕。。。) Some people assert that since students are the future of the society, university professors(第一段其他地方都是professors，所以這兒也用複數以保持一致。。。) should spend more time on education. However, I, personally, hold the belief that it is of great importance for professors to focus on research, and (my reasons are stated) in following passage.



First of all, the research performed by university professors (is) the main force that push the technology and the whole society move forward, since the responsibility of universities has changed from merely teaching to both research and education. In most (situations), people would put research in front of education because recent decades have witnessed(recent decades可以witness?) the great benefits brought by advanced technology. Take the NO.6 Shenzhou Satelite for example, which is invented and made mainly by professors in Peking University, the most famous university in China. It is the first aircraft sent by Chinese to the Moon, and the success of (this project…這不僅僅只是sending。。。) brought a lot of precious information of the space(這個應該是這個任務，或者飛船帶回來寶貴的信息，不是成功帶回來。。。成功帶來的經驗。。。), which contributes much to the exploit of the space. Without the efforts of the university, there would not be such movement in human beings’ history.(已經無力吐槽了。。。神州六號是神馬？是宇宙飛船親，不是satelite。。。你見過哪個衛星肚子里還載著兩個宇航員嗎?還有，中國的探月的是天宮一號啊親。。。神舟系列都是繞地球飛行的。。。。。。哎。。。)



Besides, the research conducted by university professors brings honor to both the university and themselves. Once the university receives such kind of award, its reputation will be raised, attracting more students to the university, thus the whole society will get benefits since more people get education. One the other hand, as the professor are granted with these extraordinary honor, they will be largely encouraged, and work more hard on their research fields, which will also bring benefits to the whole society. For example, Gan Li, (a) economic professor in Southwestern University(逗號去掉) and majored on economics, last year established a mathematic model about the balance between demand and supply, and gain the Zengkanglin Price, the top award for economists in China. Not only the reputation of Southwest University (has been) raised, but also Professor. Gan (is) motivated to work more hard on this field.



Admittedly, professors should not ignore their obligation on education, since it is the object for students to attend school. However, (there) is no conflict between research and education. Indeed, the research would do help to education, as professors sometimes show their students the perspective of their research, spurring their interests to the specific field. What is more, sometimes professors(和前面的professors單複數一致) would ask students to join the research, which is a precious chance and experience for students in (study).



In conclusion, through the above-mentioned reasons, we can see focus on research will bring a lot of advantages. Thus, we can reach to the conclusion safely and soundly that university professors should spend more time on research rather than education.



槽點實在太多了。。。最噁心的是，各種單複數問題。。。。。。。。。。。。哎。。。(ˉ▽￣～)

瓜瓜不瓜

Some people think university professor should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time education students.

There is no doubt that university professors play an essential role in the development of technology, as well as society. The question is what they should focus on. When it comes to the topic whether university professors should devote themselves to research or to the education of students, opinions vary from person to person. Some people assert that since students are the future of the society, university professor should spend more time on education. However, I, personally, hold the belief that it is of great importance for professors to focus on research, and I would like to state my reasons in following passage.

First of all, the research performed by university professors are the main force that push the technology and the whole society move forward, since the responsibility of universities has changed from merely teaching to both research and education. In most situation, people would put research in front of education because recent decades have witnessed the great benefit brought by advanced technology. Take the NO.6 Shenzhou Satelite for example, which is invented and made mainly by professors in Peking University, the most famous university in China. It is the first aircraft sent by Chinese to the Moon, and the success of the sending brought a lot of precious information of the space, which contributes much to the exploit of the space. Without the efforts of university, there would be such movement in human beings’ history.

Besides, the research conducted by university professors bring honor to both the university and themselves. Once the university receives such kind of award, its reputation will be raised, attracting more students to the university, thus the whole society will get benefits since more people get education. One the other hand, as the professor are granted with these extraordinary honor, they will be largely encourage, and work more hard on their research field, which will also bring benefits to the whole society. For example, Gan Li, the professor in Southwestern University, majored on economics, last year established a mathematic model about the balance between demand and supply, and gain the Zengkanglin Price, the top award for economist in China. Not only the reputation of Southwest University is raised, but also Professor. Gan was motivated to work more hard on this field.

Admittedly, professor should not ignore their obligation on education, since it is the object for student to attend school. However, it is no conflicts between research and eduction. Indeed, the research would do help to education, as professors sometimes show their students the perspective of their research, spurring their interests to the specific field. What is more, sometimes professor would ask students to join the research, which is a precious chance and experience for students in learning.

In conclusion, through the above-mentioned reasons, we can see focus research brings a lot of advantages. Thus, we can reach to the conclusion safely and soundly that university professors should spend more time on research rather than education.

婷婷connie

9.14 独立
914 Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

There is no doubt that education plays an essential part in one’s success, and thus education has been paid increasing attention to recently. When it comes to the topic whether people are now easier to become educated than in the past（这么写没有问题，不过建议改写一下，展示语言多样性： whether people currently are able to receive education with more ease）, opinions vary from person to person. While some people contend the situation of education has not been improved, I, personally, hold the point of view that people do have more convenience to access(这里感觉more convenient access好点，access做动词是transitive，不用to) to education. I would like to support my statement with following reasons.

First of all, with the development of the society, a(an) increasing number of people become aware （of）the indispensible(indispensable) role education plays, as it not only benefits career success, but also fulfill（fulfills） one’s life. Thanks to the raised（这里是想表达增加的意思吗？用growing更好） attention, people are so eager to enter the school and learn things they want that they overcome a lot of difficulties. In the past, only wealthy people can have the access to school, and females had less chance to get education due to gender discrimination. Since people’s financial condition, to the whole scale, has been（没必要用被动） improved a lot, money seems no longer the top concern for people longing to enter school. To the aspect of gender, the barrier has also been swept away（生动，好！）, because the social situation of women has been put in the equal height as that of men.

In addition, the innovations in technology provide numerous（这个通常是修饰可数名词，用considerable吧） conveniences for people to get education. The wide application(popularity普及) of Internet, long-distance classes, and the electronic learning devices makes it much easier for people to connect themselves with study.(这个观点比婷婷表达得好~) Here, I would like to use my mother for example to illustrate（类似的还可以用bolster/demonstrate/prop/embrace/uphold/uphold） my opinion. My mother did not attend high school in her teenage because at that time family did not have enough time to support her further study, and she was so regret（regretful） that she missed the chance to study in psychology, her favorite learning field. Last year, my mother heard that Peking University opened psychology major course online, permitting everyone to listen to lectures delivered by psychological experts and professors. Without any hesitation, she registersonline and watches these courses whenever she has time. I can feel the happiness and satisfaction she got through the learning, as one of her childhood dream finally came true.

Admittedly, there are still many people, especially the young in rural areas have difficulty to get education due to lack of money. However, recent decades have witnessed so much（mints of/scads of这两个都是表示大量的意思） capital has been put into the construction of charity school, and so many people are willing to give a hand to help the poor（underprivileged） students to realize their education dream. Thus, no one can deny that the situation is get better and better.

In summary, through the above-mention reasons, we can reach the conclusion safely and soundly that since lots of barriers are swept away, and the technology offers so much convenience, people are now easier to get educated than in the past.



Conclusion:

1.注意s大神，不要犯它哦

2.有些词的词性要注意

3.观点和思路都很好，赞一个~~

瓜瓜不瓜

914 Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

There is no doubt that education plays an essential part in one’s success, and thus education has been paid increasing attention to recently. When it comes to the topic whether people are now easier to become educated than in the past, opinions vary from person to person. While some people contend the situation of education has not been improved, I, personally, hold the point of view that people do have more convenience to access to education. I would like to support my statement with following reasons.

First of all, with the development of the society, a increasing number of people become aware the indispensible role education plays, as it not only benefits career success, but also fulfill one’s life. Thanks to the raised attention, people are so eager to enter the school and learn things they want that they overcome a lot of difficulties. In the past, only wealthy people can have the access to school, and females had less chance to get education due to gender discrimination. Since people’s financial condition, to the whole scale, has been improved a lot, money seems no longer the top concern for people longing to enter school. To the aspect of gender, the barrier has also been swept away, because the social situation of women has been put in the equal height as that of men.

In addition, the innovations in technology provide numerous conveniences for people to get education. The wide application of Internet, long-distance classes, and the electronic learning devices makes it much easier for people to connect themselves with study. Here, I would like to use my mother for example to illustrate my opinion. My mother did not attend high school in her teenage because at that time family did not have enough time to support her further study, and she was so regret that she missed the chance to study in psychology, her favorite learning field. Last year, my mother heard that Peking University opened psychology major course online, permitting everyone to listen to lectures delivered by psychological experts and professor. Without any hesitation, she register online and watches these courses whenever she has time. I can feel the happiness and satisfaction she got through the learning, as one of her childhood dream finally came true.

Admittedly, there are still many people, especially the young in rural area have difficulty to get education due to lack of money. However, recent decades have witnessed so much capital has been put into the construction of charity school, and so many people are willing to give a hand to help the poor students to realize their education dream. Thus, no one can deny that the situation is get better and better.

In summary, through the above-mention reasons, we can reach the conclusion safely and soundly that since lots of barriers are swept away, and the technology offers so much convenience, people are now easier to get educated than in the past.

N只梨花压海棠

913 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or Universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

time consuming: 35:43                 words: 473   一个早上连写两篇真心吃不消，这篇感觉第三段弱爆了

擦，刚才改的那篇忘了换号，要被master版那群人鄙视了...

There is no doubt that colleges and universities contribute a lot to career success of students, but the question is what kind of course those schools should offer. When it comes to the topic whether universities should arrange more courses on career for students, preparing them to the future challenge from career or not, opinions vary from person to person. While some people say no to the question, as they value specific knowledge more, I, personally hold the belief that students can gain a lot from courses about career, and university do need to offer those courses more. (有了自己的模版，不错)

First of all, through these career courses, students are more likely to acknowledge what kind of jobs they will face, and then as they have deeper understand of various of career jobs, more chance are that students could figure out the most suitable job for them(这句话主语有问题，应该是students have more chances to figure out. 这里的话 可以改成More probable are that ). Once students know where their suitable job lies, they can fight straight forward to it without wasting time on looking for suitable jobs through personal working experience. Take myself for example. My university did offer a lot of course on career, and these courses shows what the specific jobs each career do. Through those classes, I have a much closer look at numerous industries. Once I want to be an accountant, but then I realize accounting need careful working and it seems to be a little flat in the career path. Furthermore, I learnt that there are challenges lying in marketing. Addicted to adventures, I made up my mind to work in marketing field. Lucky for me, I have the opportunity to sign for marketing course in time, and I no longer need to waste time on the field I have no interests in. (论证比较严谨)

Besides, courses on careers teach students how to behave in future working, such as skills on interview, communication and cooperation. These knowledge make student more inclined to standout in the fierce competition in modern society. According to the investigation conducted by Peking University, 91 percent students think they benefit from courses on careers which they received during school time, and 94 percent students vote for the action that university offer more course about careers.(这段说的不对劲了，前面你说提高了blah blah,后面就该从那边来说，而不是很无力地举个和论点不相关的例子)

Admittedly, universities are obligated to teach student specific knowledge in their major, preparing them with excellent command of expertise. However, it does not mean that courses on career should be place as less value. As finding job is the ultimate goal of study, people could not emphasize the importance of course of career too much, since it brings so many benefits.

In summary, with the above-mentioned reasons, there is no doubt students would benefit a lot if universities offer more courses on the career. Therefore, we can arrive to the conclusion safely and soundly that colleges or Universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.


To 瓜瓜同学
1， 别的还真没发现什么问题，中规中矩
2，第三段的逻辑构造上再去雕琢
3，字数真的有明显提高，well done
4, good luck

亮瞎狗眼

9月12日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

time consuming: 31:40               word 478

There is no doubt that everybody wants to succeed, but the question is how. When it comes to the topic what should we do when opportunities are put in front of us, opinions vary from person to person. While some people regard patience(waiting, patience 不太合适去当成strategy，还是动名词比较好) as a good strategy, some would like to take action immediately. Personally, I, would like to vote for the latter option, and I am going to support my contention with following statement.

First of all, the opportunity is so precious and short-lasting(fleeting) that people should spare no efforts to seize it rather than just let it go. As the old saying says, time does not wait for people, so do opportunities. Only the people discovered a good chance then seize it could he/ she has the possibility to success. I could not think of a better example than Li Yanhong to illustrate my point of view. Li Yanhong, the founder and chairman of Baidu, the biggest Internet company in China, set up this company the time he smelt the signal that the Internet would be an essential part in China since the developed countries had already gain(ed) a lot of fortune from this emerging industry. Without any hesitation, he turned to capitalists and looked for technology workers. It is not exaggerated to say that Li built his internet empire within a year. He is the perfect example that people see the chance and successfully catch it.(这段写得不错，读起来很顺畅)

Besides opportunities, the external factors, patience could also lead people’s passion（to） fade out, which is the internal element contributing to success. (这个which用得不好，建议整句都换成同位语从句，patience, the internal element contributing to success, could also lead people's passion to fade out)We could not emphazise the importance of passion too much, because without passion people could achieve nothing but failure. Still cite Li Yanhong, the man who also stand for passion. Li is from a blue collar family, and his parents did not have any capital to support him to star(t) Baidu. At the very beginning, he visited numerous investors in China to persuade them to put money on his program. According those investors, it is Li’s passion rather than anything else that moved them, and drove them to invest. Failure came up sometimes, Li defeat them with passion. (这话很苍白，最好详细点)At the end, we see that passion is so powerful that it(不是passion构建的，it is the buttress to ) constructed an amazing company.

Admittedly, patience allows people to think twice before take an action, and it seems to be much careful for people to take an initial. But if people think too much, it will not only let the opportunity go away, and also make the passion fade out. Without opportunity and passion, even though people could think of every possibility of their action, in no way will they succeed.

In summary, with the above-mentioned reasons, the disadvantages of patience overweigh the advantages. Thus, we can reach the conclusion safely and soundly that patience is not that good, and people should take an action as soon as possible.

To 瓜瓜同学
文章写得有进步，不错不错


1, 整篇文章逻辑很好，读完融会贯通
2, 几个用法的问题
3，例子的比重略大，argu的句子能出彩，所以增加些
4, good good study, day day up!

gre呀gre

It is much easier for people to achieve success without their familymembers’ help now than in the past.

time consuming: 35 minutes     word:497    比昨天慢了T.T

蓝色是没错但是改了更好 红色是错误

There is no doubt that families are important in our life(lives), and they do help out a lot on ourway to success. But the question is how much they can help out and how furtherpositive influence their help matters in modern society. When it comes thetopic whether it is much easier for people to succeed with families’ help nowthan in the past, opinions vary from person to person. I, personally, believethat the role played by family members’ help weighs less today. I would like tosupport my contention with following statements.（写的没错，连着两个短句都以I做主语开头，感觉有点重复了，窝觉得可以把后面的那个句子改成that can be supported with followingstatements做成前一句话的定语）

First all of（first of all吧(￣▽￣”) ）, as modern society become increasing（这个词用得不太好，increasing更强调数量上的增加） open and more willing to welcome the distinguished idea（ideas）,personal abilities are paid more and more attention, compared with otheraspects. To be specific, modern world appreciates people who can thinkindependently, and can deal with stuff by themselves. I cannot think of a better example（better放在这更顺） than SteveJobs（改成Steve Jobs’family更贴合主题） to illustrate my point of view.Steve Jobs, the founder and chair man of the Apple Inc., was adopted by bluecollar workers. Obviously, Job’s family can offer little help in his career,especially in the field of personally computer（personal computer）, which （加上was）a brand-new industry at that time. However,depend（depending） on his novel idea, expertise, andpreservation, he amazed the world with fascinating Apple productions, changingthe way of people live. No one can cast doubt on the statement that Jobssucceeded with his own efforts.

Besides, with the development of the society, network plays a soaring essential way（play…way这样的搭配真的大丈夫？） on the way to success. However, today（据alex讲，老外更喜欢currently） thedefinition of network has changed a lot as it is no longer limited in the bloodbond,（改成分号；因为后面是完整的句子，而且indeed不能做并列连词） indeed, itspread（spreads）wider. Social relationships, such as Classmates（不用大写- -）, friends, colleagues and so on（alex说and so on用在作文里显得不正式） should be taken into consideration when people refer to networktoday, and these relationships do give a big favor in career success. As eagerto be an account, I applied for the audit intern of PWC, the biggest accountingcompany in the world. But I did not get pass through the interview. When I toldmy classmates this sad story（老外更喜欢用disaster或者nightmare）, one of my classmate（classmates）, Lily, said she may can（may和can肿么连用了- -）help out, since she had been an intern in PWC before. With her recommendation,I got another chance for a new interview, and Lily helped me prepare theinterview. Finally, thanks to her kindness, I got the job.

Admittedly, families（families’） helpdoes contribute to people’s career, and due to the blood bond they may spare noefforts to help people(改成their family members更好吧，这里用people有点奇怪，一定要用的话改成such person更好吧). However, people have to realizethe change of the society, which is no longer the one （加上that吧，同位语从句貌似要加连接词的）every problem can be solvedby “Guanxi”（你确定要这么说？- -考官应该不喜欢把- -）.Indeed, only when people have excellent knowledge in specific field can （缺少主语，加上they）achieve long-term success.

In summary, as the above-mentioned reasons indicate, today families（families’更好） help weigh（weighs吧） less than in the past. Thus, we cansafely arrive to the conclusion that it is not easier for people to succeedwith families’ help now than in the past.

瓜瓜不瓜

913 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges or Universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

time consuming: 35:43                 words: 473   一个早上连写两篇真心吃不消，这篇感觉第三段弱爆了

There is no doubt that colleges and universities contribute a lot to career success of students, but the question is what kind of course those schools should offer. When it comes to the topic whether universities should arrange more courses on career for students, preparing them to the future challenge from career or not, opinions vary from person to person. While some people say no to the question, as they value specific knowledge more, I, personally hold the belief that students can gain a lot from courses about career, and university do need to offer those courses more.

First of all, through these career courses, students are more likely to acknowledge what kind of jobs they will face, and then as they have deeper understand of various of career jobs, more chance are that students could figure out the most suitable job for them. Once students know where their suitable job lies, they can fight straight forward to it without wasting time on looking for suitable jobs through personal working experience. Take myself for example. My university did offer a lot of course on career, and these courses shows what the specific jobs each career do. Through those classes, I have a much closer look at numerous industries. Once I want to be an accountant, but then I realize accounting need careful working and it seems to be a little flat in the career path. Furthermore, I learnt that there are challenges lying in marketing. Addicted to adventures, I made up my mind to work in marketing field. Lucky for me, I have the opportunity to sign for marketing course in time, and I no longer need to waste time on the field I have no interests in.

Besides, courses on careers teach students how to behave in future working, such as skills on interview, communication and cooperation. These knowledge make student more inclined to standout in the fierce competition in modern society. According to the investigation conducted by Peking University, 91 percent students think they benefit from courses on careers which they received during school time, and 94 percent students vote for the action that university offer more course about careers.

Admittedly, universities are obligated to teach student specific knowledge in their major, preparing them with excellent command of expertise. However, it does not mean that courses on career should be place as less value. As finding job is the ultimate goal of study, people could not emphasize the importance of course of career too much, since it brings so many benefits.

In summary, with the above-mentioned reasons, there is no doubt students would benefit a lot if universities offer more courses on the career. Therefore, we can arrive to the conclusion safely and soundly that colleges or Universities should offer more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working.

瓜瓜不瓜

9月12日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

time consuming: 31:40               word 478

There is no doubt that everybody wants to succeed, but the question is how. When it comes to the topic what should we do when opportunities are put in front of us, opinions vary from person to person. While some people regard patience asa good strategy, some would like to take action immediately. Personally, I, would like to vote for the latter option, and I am going to support my contention with following statement.

First of all, the opportunity is so precious and short-lasting(fleeting) that people should spare no efforts to seize it rather than just let it go. As the old saying says, time does not wait for people, so do opportunities. Only the people discovered a good chance then seize it could he/ she has the possibility to success. I could not think of a better example than Li Yanhong to illustrate my point of view. Li Yanhong, the founder and chairman of Baidu, the biggest Internet company in China, set up this company the time he smelt the signal that the Internet would be an essential part in China since the developed countries had already gain a lot of fortune from this emerging industry. Without any hesitation, he turned to capitalists and looked for technology workers. It is not exaggerated to say that Li built his internet empire within a year. He is the perfect example that people see the chance and successfully catch it.

Besides opportunities, the external factors, patience could also lead people’s passion fade out, which is the internal element contributing to success. We could not emphazise the importance of passion to much, because without passion people could achieve nothing but failure. Still cite Li Yanhong, the man who also stand for passion. Li is from a blue collar family, and his parents did not have any capital to support him to star Baidu. At the very beginning, he visited numerous investors in China to persuade them to put money on his program. According those investors, it is Li’s passion rather than anything else that moved them, and drove them to invest. Failure came up sometimes, Li defeat them with passion. At the end, we see that passion is so powerful that it constructed an amazing company.

Admittedly, patience allows people to think twice before take an action, and it seems to be much careful for people to take an initial. But if people think too much, it will not only let the opportunity go away, and also make the passion fade out. Without opportunity and passion, even though people could think of every possibility of their action, in no way will they succeed.

In summary, with the above-mentioned reasons, the disadvantages of patience overweigh the advantages. Thus, we can reach the conclusion safely and soundly that patience is not that good, and people should take an action as soon as possible.