晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

晨依Jacqueline

2012年2月19日，晨依Jacqueline 正式加入CD托福写作小分队。
希望与大家一起奋斗，共同进步，打倒托福小怪兽~Fighting！
2月19日加入写作小分队。
翻了翻文件夹，发现自己加入小分队后写了60多篇作文，参与互改也有60多篇，收获很大，感谢小分队的亲们。
5月12日一战T。
二战T时间尚未确定。
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【一战作文训练计划】
1 坚持每天写作文，根据个人的实际情况安排，最少一篇！
2 TPO24套的综合在考试之前要都写过一遍，听力材料也要都听写过一遍，自己看范文&解析。Finished~！
3 独立作文每天计时，模拟考试环境，提高打字速度。
4 方法：写作练习+作文互改+整理总结+积累
{存在问题}
1 打字速度慢，考试键盘不适应；
2 听力+笔记；
3 思路，开头，让步段。
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?综合写作模板（刺猬Herisson发给我的，做了一点点修改，发到这里。）
?TPO24套综合写作解析：http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-702988-1-1.html
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一战感受。
其实28分的NN真的很多、我之前的作文其实写的也很平淡，自己感觉米有神马参考价值，只是想说说自己在小分队的感受而已。
28分对于我来说真的是意料之外情理之中的分数。
[意料之外]是因为考试的时候综合的听力感觉听得迷迷糊糊的，而且独立作文打字太慢了才有393，检查了一半的时候脑残觉得字数太少了，后来手贱加了一句可是悲催地没有加完就到点了。
[情理之中]是因为我从2月份加入小分队以后自己写了有60多篇作文，而且综合的TPO练了不只一遍，互改的作文也有60多篇。虽然不是篇篇计时练习，但是可以保证每篇都是认真写的，而且每一篇互改都是认真修改的，虽然我之前没有任何基础，可是我不想害了大家所以不会的就查不明白的就问，在互改的过程中也确实感受到了很大的收获。在考试之前我也把每一篇机经都认真看了还看了范文写了提纲。
高兴的同时想给还在为写作苦恼的亲们说一句，希望大家能跟着小分队好好地练习写作，坚持下去！在这里我们能够收获的不仅仅是优美的语言和巧妙的构思，更多的是内化到自身的能量，还有负责的大管家鸟儿姐姐和小管家小鹤鹤，他们在最后临考几天给我说的一些小地方真真切切帮助了我。
很高兴能在小分队认识大家，也谢谢小分队的每一位亲陪着晨依一起成长。
Time makes wonders！希望可以见证小分队每一个奇迹！

二妹拿命搞

dddd

晨依Jacqueline

谢谢我把托福踩在脚下的修改！
很中肯的建议，感觉我的论证方面还不够完善，只写提纲不行咯。还要再练习呢！

我把托福踩脚下

不好意思哦， 今天工作回来晚了。
真高兴能和你分在同一组互改作文。

It is always said that a friend in need is a friend indeed.名言作引子，赞There's no denying that a friend who can help us is important, however, as for me, the friends that I can have fun with play more crucial roles in my life. They perform sound（？） influence on my work, in my life, and also help me with my health.



To start with, a friend who could share laughters with me is beneficial for me in my work. As he/she always makes me happy and get rid of my tiredness or stress, I could quickly recover from a messed-up brain after a long time work and then continue my work efficiently. For instance, once I had to work till extreme late（adj, not noun） at night, my best friend Mike told me some jokes in order to help me get relieved from those dull documents. I was so deeply affected by his jokes and couldn't help laughing for a long time. Surprisingly, I finished my left work in(with，in mind 在心里) a very clear mind and high spirits. Although he could help me little with my work I was dealing with, he did accelerate my working process.



Subsequently, in my life, a friend who could have fun with me helps me form good characters. To be honest, I used to be a very shy person and was reluctant to communicate with others. It was also Mike who used his standard smile and optimism to influence me in an invisiable(invisible) way. He helped build my confidence and make me become willing to share my happiness to others. Because of Mike, I have made acquintaince(acquaintance) with a number of good friend(s). No wonder that a funny friend is my(the) best treasure in my life.



Last but not least, laughters are the best medicine for keeping good health. As we all know, laughters are able to stimulate the function of a person's immune system and then defend a variety of diseases. However, a friend who could help people in trouble is helpless with serious ailments. Sharing my joy in life with friends makes so enormous contribution to a healthy life that the times I catch a cold has a sharply decline.(第一句和前面两句不搭边，第二句非常奇怪的结构)



In sum, after analyzing all the three reasons I listed above, we could safely reach（及物动词删掉to）to the conclusion that a friend who is willing to share laughters with us is more significant in our life. Not only does he/she is an angle spreading happiness, but he/she also helps you keep healthy.
总结： 有趣的朋友和能帮忙的朋友的对比说明不多，只说了有趣的朋友好，但没说比能帮忙的朋友更好在哪里
没什么大的语法错误， 比我强多了。

zhisheng2200

前来拜读。。。好高的楼啊。。。

晨依Jacqueline

帮你来顶了~哈哈,很有层次感!

-- by 会员 lizchang1990 (2012/11/26 23:58:08)

Thx Liz~~
我在整理作文机经，等着发你一份，加油哈！

lizchang1990

帮你来顶了~哈哈,很有层次感!

晨依Jacqueline

11月26日独立
【好久不写作文了，真的是手生了，词汇也超级匮乏的，差点就超时了……期待互改同学狂踩！】
题目：The friends that you can have fun with is more important than the friends that you can get help from.

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It is always said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. There's no denying that a friend who can help us is important, however, as for me, the friends that I can have fun with play more crucial roles in my life. They perform sound influence on my work, in my life, and also help me with my health.



To start with, a friend who could share laughters with me is beneficial for me in my work. As he/she always makes me happy and get rid of my tiredness or stress, I could quickly recover from a messed-up brain after a long time work and then continue my work efficiently. For instance, once I had to work till extreme late at night, my best friend Mike told me some jokes in order to help me get relieved from those dull documents. I was so deeply affected by his jokes and couldn't help laughing for a long time. Surprisingly, I finished my left work in a very clear mind and high spirits. Although he could help me little with my work I was dealing with, he did accelerate my working process.



Subsequently, in my life, a friend who could have fun with me helps me form good characters. To be honest, I used to be a very shy person and was reluctant to communicate with others. It was also Mike who used his standard smile and optimism to influence me in an invisiable(invisible) way. He helped build my confidence and make me become willing to share my happiness to others. Because of Mike, I have made acquintaince(acquaintance) with a number of good friend. No wonder that a funny friend is my best treasure in my life.



Last but not least, laughters are the best medicine for keeping good health. As we all know, laughters are able to stimulate the function of a person's immune system and then defend a variety of diseases. However, a friend who could help people in trouble is helpless with serious ailments. Sharing my joy in life with friends makes so enormous contributionto a healthy life that the times I catch a cold has a sharply decline.



In sum, after analyzing all the three reasons I listed above, we could safely reach to the conclusion that a friend who is willing to share laughters with us is more significant in our life. Not only does he/she is an angle spreading happiness, but he/she also helps you keep healthy.

jeariel

多谢楼主传授宝贵经验

angelgabriel

Nowadays, advanced technology enables us to choose either text message or voice message at our own will. These two forms of


communications, however, provide different attitude and shall be used wisely before we are delivering a message. In my opinion, in case


of discussing negative messages like upsetting or controversial ones, I would prefer to choose the text method.


The most obvious advantage of text over voice message is that text hide the disappointing or upsetting sound from the other one. Although


both methods may deliver similar messages, the use of text messaging would make it possible to arrange the message in a more indirect


way. This shows how you truly understand and care for the other person. For example, consider I was the one to receive the upsetting


message, I would prefer to read it rather than hear the blaming or angry voices from the other one since this voice would further upset me.


In addition, voice message method such as telephone usually requires the receiver to be present when delivering the message. However,


text message could leave this information as a kind of note so that the receiver can see it any time at any place. Ringing the other one


instantly often happens when the person wants to finish the problem as soon as possible and has no patience to wait for response. By


contrast, text message leaves adequate time for the person to think and rethink before making a decision. The person who sends the


message in this way can show his respect for the other one's choice and he does not expect the receiver to make a rush decision.


In conclusion, sending a text message about upsetting issues will not only buffer the negative effect if presented indirectly, it will also


show your attitude that you respect their choices and would want them to make the best decision on their own.