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[作文互改] 死命憋了393个词的第一次ISSUE 1个月以后就要考了啊!!

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楼主
发表于 2012-1-20 17:17:57 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |正序浏览 |阅读模式
Claim:Researchers should not limit their investigations to only those areas in which they expect to discover something that has an immediate practical application.

Reason : It is impossible to predict the outcome of a line of research with any certainty.




I partly agree with the claim and the reason provided broached by the writer.Under some circumstance, it is extremely hard to predict an outcome of any certainty of a line of research due to the undeniable fact that scientific is inherently unpredictable.Then it would likely lead to contradtion between the outcome and the expectation they considered before if they limit their investigations to only those areas in which they expect to discover something useful.Here is an excellent example that support my viewpoint.


  The investigation toward aerodynamics in the early days has been focused on the inviscous flow , and a huge number of famous sciencists who devout they rest of  life on this area thought it could be a pragmatic result in the near future.While,paradoxically ,it turns out to be little of function , because later researchers found out that the realistic flow has viscousity which couldn't be ommited.That fact above exemplify that the blindness in any scientfic area is pernicious ,which is difficult to be avoid.

  What's more,because researcher limit the resource to the so called short-term practical project,some long-term meaningful projects of fantastic significance such as Launching to the Mars would be inevitably put aside.Anyway, the Mars project won't be fruitful even in the next century.But considering its magnitude ,the achievement of this project would solve the continuity of human species.Can it be considered in the last day of human lives on the earth? Of course not.And if  such important long-term project is not quite welcomed by the mainstream of institution , the long-term goal such as continueity of human and other species on the earth would come to diminished.

  But sometimes not all short-term and profitable research and investigation is unpredictable.If paying attention and resouces to the carefully checked ones , these projects would be vital to the economic condition of these research instituion.Because it would make the institution to kept on for the highly cost salaries of researchers and equippment.With better equippment,the reputation of the institution would be better and would attract a lot of excellent scientists.

 To sum up,the researcher should decline those investigation which they expect to be have great valuble in short time,but if they are restrained by the finaicial condition, they should focus research on the well considered with careful inspection projects so as to strike a balance between the short-term goal and long-term goal.


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8#
发表于 2012-1-27 17:13:42 | 只看该作者
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-1-27 16:52:50 | 只看该作者
非常感谢版主仔细的矫正
6#
发表于 2012-1-24 23:49:42 | 只看该作者
1. fact that scientific (science) is inherently unpredictable
2. lead to contradtion (contradiction) between
3. example that support (supports) my viewpoint.
4. devout they (the) rest of life (their lives) on this area AND thought it could be a pragmatic result in the near future.
5. fact above exemplify (exemplifies) that
6. which is difficult to (NO be) avoid.
7. make sure not to leave a space between a comma and the word preceding it

little mistakes such as these are easy to fix. good luck
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-1-21 12:04:53 | 只看该作者
作者的英文写作很好。加上好的逻辑、组织结构,作文没有问题的。加油!
-- by 会员 jz20000cn (2012/1/20 21:42:29)


非常感谢鼓励。等我考完G后一定回来报答CD.
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-1-21 12:04:02 | 只看该作者
我自己对这种的理解一般是把抽象的关键词具体化,比如这个题目中的research,可以将它分类处理,这样写起来绝对可以有很多话,字数不会太少。
本文,我并不赞同一开头就直接说I agree the claim这种方式,因为阅卷人或许并不知道claim 是什么,最好在开始的时候复述下题目,简要的分析下题目,表明你怎么理解题目的复杂性,让后再表明观点,并导出自己的下文,以显得顺其自然。
其他的,举例的时候不宜太长,最好不要像讲故事。继续加油!
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/1/20 18:37:03)


对的,确实不应该claim指代。
而且,确实第一段很奇怪。现在看,就应该把第一句话分离成单独一段,再在这第一句话上补上让步语气,说明需要分情况讨论,然后才是开始原先的第一大段,不然就显得文章缺少引领全文的开头。这么一想我的文章确实犯了中心不明确的毛病,很严重啊。
感谢版主的解惑,不过我仍然有些小问题:
什么是把"抽象的关键词具体化",怎么和“分类处理”有关系?
板凳
发表于 2012-1-20 21:42:29 | 只看该作者
作者的英文写作很好。加上好的逻辑、组织结构,作文没有问题的。加油!
沙发
发表于 2012-1-20 18:37:03 | 只看该作者
我自己对这种的理解一般是把抽象的关键词具体化,比如这个题目中的research,可以将它分类处理,这样写起来绝对可以有很多话,字数不会太少。
本文,我并不赞同一开头就直接说I agree the claim这种方式,因为阅卷人或许并不知道claim 是什么,最好在开始的时候复述下题目,简要的分析下题目,表明你怎么理解题目的复杂性,让后再表明观点,并导出自己的下文,以显得顺其自然。
其他的,举例的时候不宜太长,最好不要像讲故事。继续加油!
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