请牛人帮看作文，跪谢！

jessicaxy

非常感动（哭）。真是好心人回我这么多！辛苦你了！谢谢你提出的宝贵建议。我觉得说的很对！

tootoo5478

is becoming 不好~~~become 沒有進行式~~~

代名詞不要用太多~~~不然會扣分~~~假設你要以代名詞指帶整件事~~~用the case比較好~~~因為在修辭上代名詞不能代替整個句子

用字可以盡量簡單明遼~~~如accomplish改用finish~~~

Therefore in my opinion----Therefore, in my opinion,

I have or admit that some people are addicted to TV and tend to be far away from their nearest friends, however, I believe this is just some exceptionals which can not tell the dominate trend of the whole society.

What do you mean "have or admit"? however 前面要用句號~~~不然文法錯誤~~~因為兩個句子連接要有連接詞~~however是副詞

 is when 文法有問題~~~這是口語說法~~~be動詞後用形容詞~~名詞~~~不能用副詞~~~when是副詞子句

sit on sofa, watching TV, and talk happily---動詞平衡~~~用watch

基本上這篇文章還ok~~~但是樓主有些句子真的太長~~~故意用難字反而增加閱讀困難~~~

有些副詞做語意連接轉折時應該加逗號~~Hence, However, Therefore, 每段最好要有三個以幫助電腦月券時偵測

jessicaxy

咋没人回捏。。。。等的好急类。。。

jessicaxy

大家帮帮我吧。。我真是你里没数。。。这能有多少份啊～谢谢谢谢!

jessicaxy

题目：电视是否破坏了人们之间的交流

Television is always regarded as one of the greatest inventions since the last century. It has a significant impact on the world's attitudes towards things as well as information exchange. However some argue that television has destroyed our communication with our family and friends, as people nowadays spend less time to share with their friends and family. Although it sounds persuasive, I think it is not completely true.

First of all, as the population is always increasing, the world is becoming much more competitive. Everyone has to pace up to make full use of every second. In order to accomplish their heavy work task, spare time which should be spent with family and friends has to be cut. Therefore in my opinion, the main reason why people are decreasing time everyday with relatives and friends is not television but the fast speed of daily life. I have or admit that some people are addicted to TV and tend to be far away from their nearest friends, however, I believe this is just some exceptionals which can not tell the dominate trend of the whole society.

On the contrary, televisions have provided us much new information to discuss with our closest friends in a sense. For instance, many ladies enjoy discussing the newest soap opera on TV in leisure which has given a common topic as well as brought them numerous chances to get to know more new friends. Hence I believe TV has improved our relationship with our friends and can even bring us more new friends,

Last but not the least, according to a recent research which has sent out 2000qustionaires, the happiest time a family spent with each other is when all the family members sit on sofa, watching TV, and talk happily. Even though this can only show the perspectives of some of the 2000 people who participated in the research, it can definitely show that many people agree with the idea that TV has done a really good job in relaxing their family relationship, which also bring everybody lots of happiness.

In brief, it is not surprising to find out that TV is a great invention that has always given us a lot of laughters. In spite of some of the disadvantages such as the addiction to it, I think its advantages weighout its disadvantages. Therefore, I contend that TV has ruined our communication with others.