TWE156快到头了，6份冲刺！hncsxj求修改，必厚报！

hncsxj

Which foreign country would be the most attractive destination? I have thought about it for a long time since I began to study at Toronto for two years. As the long vocation of Christmas is coming, I would rather go to visit China, if I have the opportunity this winter.

To begin with, China has a unbelievable 5,000 years' history, compared to most of the other countries. There are numerous relics all over the country, including the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and so on, and not mention the countless small towns, which are seldom disturbed by modern culture. Further more, behind these famous ancient spots are attractive legends: some are heroic, and some are tragic. As a result, it is not uncommon that an increasing number of history researchers are fluxing to China to pursue their studies. As a student majored in urban planning, I am highly interested in these fields, which can broaden my horizons.

Next, the peaceful rising of China in the past decades is another paramount important reason. Accompanied with the accelerated speed of economic booming are the tremendous opportunities. . The recent research conducted by the Fortune 500 indicates that two thirds of the Top 500 companies have their branches in China. In addition, 45% of their margins come from this developing country. Therefore, knowing well about this believed biggest market in the world will improve my competitive advantages in the near future. Considering my professional career in the future, visiting China would be a wise decision for me

Admittedly, going to China has a lot of uncertainties, such as the customs are quite from that of North America and therefore a new visitor might face many trouble. However, if we expect to visit a place which makes us totally comfortable, we can only stay at home. Further, it is these unforeseeable problems that greatly arise my interest.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, I would choose China as my travel destination. Further more, even if I have no a vocation as long as two weeks, I would try to manage this trip.

guandream

haha... waiting for your good news

以下是引用hncsxj在2004-11-12 9:38:00的发言：

Which foreign country would be the most attractive destination? I have thought about it for a long time since I began to study at Toronto for two years. As the long vocation of Christmas is coming, I would rather go to visit China, if I have the opportunity this winter.

To begin with, China has a unbelievable (I am not comfortable with this word in this situation)5,000 years' history, compared to most of the other countries. There are numerous relics all over the country, including the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and so on, and not mention the countless small towns, which are seldom disturbed by modern culture. Further more, behind these famous ancient spots are attractive legends: some are heroic, and some are tragic. As a result, it is not uncommon (double negative)that an increasing number of history researchers are fluxing to China to pursue their studies. As a student majored in urban planning, I am highly interested in these fields, which can broaden my horizons.(good point)

Next, the peaceful rising (new term to me)of China in the past decades is another paramount important reason. Accompanied with the accelerated speed of economic booming are the tremendous opportunities (sentence fragment). . The recent research conducted by the Fortune 500 indicates that two thirds of the Top 500 companies have their branches in China. In addition, 45% of their margins come from this developing country. Therefore, knowing well about this believed potentially biggest market in the world will improve my competitive advantages in the near future. Considering my professional career in the future, visiting China would be a wise decision for me

Admittedly, going to China has a lot of uncertainties, such as the customs are quite from that of North America and therefore a new visitor might face many trouble. However, if we expect to visit a place which makes us totally comfortable, we can only stay at home. Further, it is these unforeseeable problems that greatly arise my interest.(in this topic, from my point of view, this paragraph perhaps is unnecessary)

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, I would choose China as my travel destination. Further more, even if I have no a vocation as long as two weeks, I would try to manage this trip. (good conclusion, but compared with the body paragraph, the number of words is in imbalance)

the whole essay is good writen. bring 6.0000 back.

hncsxj

Accompanied with the accelerated speed of economic booming are the tremendous opportunities

我记得好像有这种倒装的。还有上次类似的你提的意见，也是介宾短语做主语

Media Roundtable in Slovakia With Richard L. Armitage, Deputy ...
... We see the peaceful rising of China is, certainly in Asia and probably globally,
one of the most important events of this 21st century.

和平崛起？

pengstone

以下是引用hncsxj在2004-11-12 12:28:00的发言：

Accompanied with the accelerated speed of economic booming are the tremendous opportunities

我记得好像有这种倒装的。还有上次类似的你提的意见，也是介宾短语做主语

俺的印象中好像也可以这样写，但有一个建议，在考试中对于自己无十足把握的结构和句子，最好谨用，你大可在其它有把握的地方表现你的写作多变句式的能力。