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[作文互改] issue28求指导!!狠拍!

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楼主
发表于 2012-9-13 20:55:56 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式


"The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but



the general welfare of all its people."

一个伟大国家最真实的体现不是它的统治者、艺术家或者科学家的成就,而是他所有老百姓的普通福利(幸福)。


When we are about to judge a nation, twocriterions come into our sights: achievements of its elites, say, rulers,artists or scientist, and the general welfare of all of its people.  As far as I am concerned, I cannot totallyagree with what the speaker says in the topic that the surest indicator of agreat nation is the welfare of its people rather than the success of itselite.  The general welfare, in my view,is the basic standard of a successful country, but it is not able to qualifythe greatness of this country.


It is quite safe to say that the generalwelfare in a developed nation is far much better than it is in a developingnation or undeveloped nation since the people's welfare is the most crucialissue in any country. In order to strengthening a country, the first thinggovernment should do is to improve the living conditions of its people, topromote the consuming standard of its people, to guarantee the medical securityof its people, and, in one word, to benefit the general welfare of all of its people.  Without the guaranty of the general welfare,people in the country will certainly not be happy, and the country, therefore,will not be considered as a strong nation, a great nation.

However, the general welfare of people in anation is just a basic rule of a great nation, which means a nation with finewelfare is not necessarily to be regard as a great nation.  A nation with good welfare of people requiresachievement of its elite to make it an outstanding nation.

As for elites of the country, most peoplemight come up with scientists in no time. True, scientists have an unimpeachable status in all countries, for thereason that scientists are engine of a country, which is pushing the countrymoving forward.  It is no wonder that allof our modern machines are the achievement of precedent scientists and it isthese inventions that make our lives so convenient and colorful.  Scientists devote themself to making evolvementof our country and the achievement of them is absolutely the indicator of a greatnation.

Artists' achievement could not be neglectedas well.  They make our country a betterplace to reside: so many inspired musicians provide us with brilliant music, somany entertainment facilities allow us to enjoy our lives, etc. No one wouldconsider a nation as great if living there is a boring and disappointingexperience.

In short, the general welfare of people isnot supposed to be the unique indicator of a great nation, the elites of thiscountry (scientists, artists and rulers, etc.) should also be take into accountat the same time.







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沙发
发表于 2012-9-13 22:39:53 | 只看该作者
感觉还可以,但你有没有考虑过一个国家在没有让民众获得很好福利的时候因为某些伟大的成就而成为伟大国家呢,你该对此进行怎样的反驳呢?
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-9-14 11:01:10 | 只看该作者
真没怎么想到,感觉人民的福利是伟大国家的必须条件。。
地板
发表于 2012-9-18 21:25:27 | 只看该作者
我觉得可以再考虑下对great的定义啊,像scientist和artist让国家变得colorful,convenient,interesting就代表了great了吗?这里的论述不够说服力
5#
发表于 2012-9-19 00:51:41 | 只看该作者
是不是有点短啊。。。你可以说说一个国家只有在保持了人民生活水品的前提下才有精力和金钱投资在art,research之类的elite上面。
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