跪求作文批改！

kegeng

请大家拍砖6-25就考试了啊。。背不过模板啊！求求各路大神救命！Recently, it is really a hot discussed issue about what isthe most efficient way to deal with the extra money. Hundreds of thousands ofpeople consider purchasing a house is a much safer approach. However, to mypoint of view, no risks, no gains. When dealing with the extra money, topurchase a business is surely an appropriate method.

Firstly, it is indispensable that the meaning of money is tobe used to gain a more comfortable life. Thus, there is never too much moneyfor anyone. One house is just one house. However, when investing the money tomarket, it may come out large amount of interests, by which one can purchasemore than one more splendid and comfortable house. It is the greedy yet truenature of human which decides the more proper means of using money is to investrather than simply and safely buying a house.
Secondly, onecan earn more money by investing rather than buying a house. It is believed toall that when earning money, it is usually true that the more risk you take,the more interest you will have. Without the adventurefulaction of Gates, there would never be a Microsoft and the world firstrich man. Without taking the risk to construct public infrastructure, Roosevelt cannotlead all Americans out of the Great Depression.Without venturing on giving the public lecture,Martin Luther Kim can never see his Dream come true. Thus, we have to run the hazard while handling with our extra money togain more interests from it.
Finally, the economy of the country can also benefit from puttingmoney into the market such as by purchasing a business rather than a house.When all the citizens in a state would like to purchase a business rather thana house, the money circulating in the economic world will increase, by whichthe economy will be stimulated. Thus, the economy of the whole society willsurely face a better and brighter future.
All in all, only by purchasing a business rather than ahouse can both the society and individals take advantages from it. What's more,the final decision should be decided according to the real situation.

kegeng

这个题目是：185 You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy?

fairvalue

总体尚可，就是要注意空格问题。

fairvalue

应该24-25分左右。