恳求各位大虾指点作文,只有15天就考试了

mengjie511

这是DELTA上TEST3的作文,恳求各位给出宝贵知道意见,狠狠批,不要留情

Some people think about that we learn our most important in school. Others think that the knowledge we acquire outside of school is the most important. Which view do you agree with ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

 

Today , variety of jobs need diverse skills, how to excel ourselves in the severe competition is a headache that most ambitious people are facing. Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, some hold the opinion that lessons in school is crucial ,while others claim that what we get outside of school outweighs the former one .In my point of view, both are vital in our life because we have to experience different periods .In varied stages ,we should have diverse but appropriate focus

   If you want to be a scientist, you want to set up a solid fundament for your further   research ,you want to be an expert in scientific filed ,I would not show any hesitation to side with you who deem that the knowledge you acquire in school shows a pretty ness city and may reveal a amazing effect on your whole academic studying. The education in school not only gives attention to the content of certain filed, but also cares about your research ability. Through the three or four years study in college , you could set up a rough while complete recognition about what subject you are interested in and then you make up your mind to prepare for the further development learning. During the prepare time , the things you get from the professors and textbooks will influent your final result to a unbelievable extend.

Comparing to be a professional ,the invisible school----society  teaches you more practical skills to save yourself a space during the realistic competition .when you leave school ,stepping into the mysterious outside world ,you may find that  what you learn in school would have nothing dealing with the job you apply for .Sometime ,you may feel confused even can not bear the pressure ,however ,the society would let us become more mature in a shorter time through our painful experience .A expression is widely spread among the graduate students" when you go out of school, what you learn in school would totally be reversed" The rule in school is far different from the rule in real life.Learning outside of the school may means you choose to take more burden , suffer more pain  grow more mature.  

Taking all above aspects into consideration, there is no census about which is more important ---absorbing lessons in school or acquiring knowledge outside of school.  For me , the best way is to make a balance between them: develop what we learn in school through  practice and living outside of school

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-10-22 21:09:20编辑过]

mengjie511

从报上名到考试只有一个月的时间,现在只剩半个月了,自己本身水平奇差,希望得到前辈指点,欲哭无泪了

mengjie511

各位大牛们千万不要客气,在有限的时间里就让我遭受无尽的打击吧

mengjie511

怎么没人来救救我呢

德克的猪

    

Today , variety of
jobs need diverse skills, how to excel ourselves in the severe competition is a
headache that most ambitious people are facing(句子和句子之间是不可以用逗号连接的.而且我也没有看出variety
of jobs need diverse skills 和 how to survive the fierce
competition之间的必然联系). Depending on personal experience,
personality type and emotional concern, some hold the opinion that lessons in
school is crucial, while others claim that what we get outside of school
outweighs the former one.(完全是废话,摒弃.BTW,空格应该打在标点符号的后面,不是前面). In my point of view, both are vital in
our life because we have to experience different periods(从这个句子可以看出,你写的是中立,我个人是不太赞成中立的这种写法的.最好还是选择一边支持). In varied stage
, we should have diverse but appropriate focus.

    

 

    

If you want to be
a scientist, you want to set up a solid
fundament for your further research, and you want to be an expert in scientific filed, I
would not show any hesitation to side with you who deem that the knowledge you
acquire in school shows a pretty ness city and may reveal a amazing effect on
your whole academic studying(这句话写的异常的纠结,而且有pretty ness这样相当不正式的表达. 可以修改为:For one who craves to be an authority
or attain outstanding accomplishments in academic fields, the knowledge s/he
acquires in school is indubitably the most important.). The education in school not only gives
attention to the content of certain filed, but also cares about your research
ability(我觉得focus on certain fields和cultivate
one’s academic ability的差异不大). Through(During/in the duration
of one’s college) the three or four years study in college , you could
set up(鉴于你前面用过set up,这里你可以考虑build/establish) a rough while complete recognition
about what subject you are interested in and then you make up your mind to
prepare for the further development learning. During the prepare time , the
things you get from the professors and textbooks will influent your final
result to a unbelievable extend(你的用词过于的口语化,不正式.而且你该段的论证和why the knowledge one gets from book is important的关联不大.).
            

mengjie511

谢谢版主，就是要这样狠狠地拍才过瘾，谢谢啦

mengjie511

版主，你看我的水平现在就这种巨菜的程度，有个什么突击法能让我在半个月里稍稍长点自信呢？

德克的猪

http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=68&ID=264174&page=1

mengjie511

谢谢版主，加油，我会试着把作文改改再向你求教的

mengjie511

Today, when facing a severe competition, that we learn in school or that we acquire outside of school, which will aid us eventually to excel ourselves is a big headache that troubles most people.
                Owning to diverse emotion concern and life experience, different people will give different answers. Considering my personality, what we learn in school plays a prevailing part in my future development. 

All we know, setting up a solid foundation is a vital part that could greatly affect our final result.
            For one who craves to be an authority or attain outstanding accomplishments in academic fields, the knowledge he acquires in school is indubitably the most important. To me, whose dream is to become a psychologist, the establishment of basic psychology theory obviously holds a higher rank in my life than things that I learn outside of school.

Furthermore, when we refer to school learning, academic study would appear in people’s mind without hesitation. However, it is just one aspect of education in school regarding of  the curriculum designed for both mental and physical health. Besides our compulsory subjects, various types of optional classes are also available. In such classes, we could learn things beyond our own major,
                    as a  result , we will not withdraw when we get an access to an unfamiliar filed which may be a turning point in our life. In the contrary, when your work begins，you are tied to your narrow work sphere and do not have the spare time and chance to learn something else due to the great work stress. Then, you want to change your job, the seemly unrelated courses not concern your major may show their amazing power.

 In addition, what we acquire in school is more creditable. Theories have been proved   through years of experiment by thousands of scientists so that we could avoid some roundabout route and put these into practical use. Once, for you step into the society, you may only get knowledge through you own trying. Sometimes such trying may even turn to be painful mistakes.

     No denying, there are some advantages lie in acquiring knowledge outside of school. Such as, force you to become mature and make you realize the importance of responsibility. Even though, I have to point out that the disadvantages are still obvious, not systematical, less trustworthy, more painful etc. Referring to my dream and my preference ,I will not hesitate to support what I learn in school is most important.