argument 求批改

hsloner

题目：

34 The vice president of human resources atClimpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company'spresident.
"In an effort to improve ouremployees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoringof employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use theInternet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we areto reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreationalactivities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detectemployees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees fromwasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overallprofits."
Write a response in which you examine thestated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument.
Be sure to explain how the argument dependson these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if theassumptions prove unwarranted.

outline：
公司的确应该采取措施提高员工的生产力，这样能保证公司的盈利毕竟每个公司是以盈利为目标的
这个公司存在这个现象吗
实施监测不一定能起到此效果还可能会引起反感导致跳槽
员工也会反监控
有没有其他办法


text:
It is true that we should take measures toassure our employees' productivity. After all, most of companies for profit andexist. The high employee`s productivity almost can help get more profitable.
   The author`s propose is to improve the employee`sproductivity. But it is not showed that the report about their employee`sefficiency. It is not suitable to do that if they keep high efficiency. They maybefeel that is a way to exploit them. Then they would be sluggish which is not wewant. Then how do we know the employee use the Internet from their workstationsfor personal or recreational activities now? It is only the author`s surmise. Theauthor did not give any material to prove it.
  Is it licit for company to install softwareto detect employees` Internet use on company computers? Employees perhaps wouldsuethe company for these behaviors. And as the saying goes, People can alwaysfind a way to copy with the government policies. Employee also can use a verityof tips to confront the monitor. It is impossible to forbid this deed. It woulddamp the sense of trust to company for employee. It is unfavorable no matter forthe company or employees while employees work under monitor. Employees would feelthe company like a prison, all of they do was in the control of the company,they spend every day with a panic in their mind. Under such environment,employees would only consider their own benefit, would not take the company`sprofit into consideration. In such a company that everyone feels no belongingsfor the company then how do we image they would make great effort for thecompany.
As we known, employees can use other means to spend onpersonal or recreational activities if they want. The smartphone may be a goodchoice. We can use the smartphone do something like the personal computer,sometimes it is more interesting than PC. And it is too smalls so that it is uneasyto be detected.
So, installing software to detect employees` use oncompany computers is not a sensible measure to improve employees` productivity.Some alternative ways may be more suitable and effective. For example, set up akind of incentive system to encourage employees to work readily. In additionalto, we can develop another funny recreations instead.

普渡哥

After all, most of companies for profit andexist.

作者写英文跟写中文一样。

建议背几篇满分作文。

hsloner

竹林中人

你的语言表达问题很大，也许还没考四六级，有时间多读读一些好的文章，比如新概念英语