toefl作文很烂，求修改

蔡何宸

题：Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Others young adults prefer to live with their families for a long time. Which of these situations do you thick is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.



Ample evidence shows that a rising number of young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. From my own perspective, it is beneficial for young adults to live independence from their parents. I will explore it in the following text.



Living independence from their parents can help them establish a benign habit that they do not rely on others when they encounter with some problems. For example, I face with the complicated math problem when I do homework; I used to ask my parents for help because they can solve all the problems with which I am confronted. However, I choose to live independence from my parents, which is to say, I did not rely on my parents any more. How can I solve the complicated math problem? I searched for some information on the Internet and discussed with my classmates by phone. Luckily, I finished the homework without my parents' help. Obviously, living independence from parents makes me form a benign habit.



Living independence from parents can teach us how to utilize our own pocket money. We can make full use of pocket money to do all the things we are interested in. For instance, my favorite sport is tennis, so I require a tennis coach to teach me. Nevertheless, my parents hold the view that it does not necessitate to immerse you in the tennis because grades come first. Do you know how can I tackle the controversy? I strongly disagree with my parents and do something what I like. As a proverb says "Never ever lose your passions to your dreams. " Thanks to the independence of me, I can realize my dream that I ask a tennis coach to teach me. Therefore, it is crucial for young adults to live independence from their parents.



Admittedly, there are many benefits to live with their families. Parents can take good care of us and try their best to cook some delicious food we want. Last day, I did not find my credit card, so I can do nothing but to ask my parents for help. Ultimately, my parents found it. However, this benefit can be achieved by us. It goes without saying that we can successfully deal with all the problems.



In the analysis, it is indispensable for young adults to live independence from their parents. Since I live independence from my parents, I learn lots of skills from my life. And I am deeply convinced, only in this way, can we embrace a brilliant future.

超级无敌小鹤鹤

超级无敌小鹤鹤

已改

蔡何宸

pdf文件已损坏，打不开，能否再发一下呀，谢谢

超级无敌小鹤鹤

好吧 这个呢？