帮我改一下motivational letter可以吗

turinsnow

Dear sir or madam，

 

My undergraduate educational background at Guanghua School of Management, Peking
                    University, my passion for finance and my interest in the Italian culture make me an ideal candidate for Master of Science program in Finance at Università Bocconi for the year 2007-2008.

 

My interest in finance is by blood. I was born in a family of finance. My father was a banker and my mother was an accountant. Some of my relatives have been working in different Chinese banks for more than twenty years. When I was asked to choose a major in university, I picked finance without hesitation. Having spent the last three years in the top undergraduate class of finance in China, I can say that I would like to devote my life in this competitive, dynamic and exciting industry. I visited Wall Street ten months ago. Watching the narrow street and busy walking people, suddenly I realized that I belonged here. I know that there must be a long way before I reach here, but anyway, I will try my best to see how far I can go.

 

I will graduate from Peking
                    University next July. Why not work immediately after the undergraduate education? First, at the moment I am only a beginner in the field of finance and still have much to learn. My academic knowledge of finance is not yet sufficient for a real financier. Second, to be honest, I am not ready to begin a full-time job at the age of 22. I enjoy the campus life and do not want to leave it too soon. Third, I want to broaden my vision by visiting other parts of the world at an early stage of life. In all, to stay in the field of finance before enter the industry, I should certainly seek an Master of Science Program in Finance.

 

Bocconi is my first choice not only because it can offer me high-quality academic education and a good opportunity to enter the sector of investment banking, but also because it is the perfect combination of Italy, Milan and finance. Italy is the beautiful country that I have been dreaming of visiting since high school; Milan is the city where my favorite football team is located; and finance is the career worth lifetime devotion. I have a strong motivation to spend part of life at Bocconi and expect to explore the whole wide world with your help.

 

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to a positive response.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Yvonne.Zoé

顶楼主！