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帮帮忙看看我的作文哦,谢谢哦~~

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楼主
发表于 2005-3-3 09:54:00 | 只看该作者

帮帮忙看看我的作文哦,谢谢哦~~


study at home or in the school



Different people have different views on how to study, study at home or study in the school. if I had my choice, I prefer studying in the traditional school.


Although at first glace studying at home is reasonable and convinent. i think we can gain knowledge from teachers in the school which we can’t acquire at home.


In addition, conventional school education provides you with good opportunities to make friends and developes your social skills which contribute to your entering society. Studying in the school, we can not only learn how to communicate with others. nothing can play so important role in people’s communication than school.


Finally, it is school that supply us with plenty of resource,such as library and teacher. If we can make full use of library, we will feel if we were swam freedom in the sea of knowledge.in another hand,if we have problems,we can argue with teacher. Until you solve the problem can you boost your confidence. All above can make you study more efficient.


I concede that you can learn whatever you want at home, but only study in the  school can we concentrate on out study,so I still choose studying in the school.

沙发
发表于 2005-3-3 12:19:00 | 只看该作者

1.樓主有進步啦

2.第一段的首句建議修改一下,更明確強調會比較好

3.第一個原因可再加例子

4.末段再加強點,多點句子, 注意首尾也要修飾,如果有點身體太胖,好像不太好

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-3-3 23:25:00 | 只看该作者

嘻嘻,谢谢哦.那想问问应该举什么样的例子呢?

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2005-3-3 23:28:00 | 只看该作者
以后我要经常写作文,麻烦帮我改哦.
5#
发表于 2005-3-4 01:46:00 | 只看该作者
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