8.28独立写作

cloverlisa · 发表于 2013-8-29 00:36:57

Do you agree or disagree with the opinion:People who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group.

Have you ever seen the famous football player being criticized beside the football field? Have you ever experienced the fierce argument before a successful proposal was created? Have you ever faced a situation of brainstorm? Actually, all the above situations are common in our daily lives. And if we work in a group instead of working alone, Criticism, passed from our team members, is playing a crucial role during our way to success. In my opinion, we should be willing to accept whatever criticism.

With criticism, we can avoid more mistakes during work. As we all know that no one is perfect as god in the world, what's more, it is never an easy task to find our own shortages. As the old saying goes, lookers-on see more than players, some wrong or incomplete perspectives can only be found and criticize by our colleagues. So why not choosing to accept them ?

Moreover, a successful team work always call for the criticism, which can create various ideas to solve the problems. Every people have their special fields, where they peform quite well. For instance, by putting one math professor and one artist in the same group for designing a fashion tower building,they may complement each other effectively from their own field, so that the group is able to successfully complete the structure not only solid from the statistic, but also fabulous from an artistical view.

Admittedly, the some leaders in the group rarely receive the criticism from their subordinates. However, don't jump to the conclusion that they don't need criticism. Because normal leaders have more experience, which can help them to make the self-criticism during the group. As far as I know, a lot of leaders also ask for the suggestions, which is, another shape of critism.

Therefore, from what I have discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that to become successful in the team work, we need to accept as much criticism as we can.

carmensh · 发表于 2013-8-29 22:26:28

Do you agree or disagree with the opinion

eople who cannot accept the criticism from others will not be successful at working in a group.

Have you ever seen the famous football player being criticized beside the football field? Have you ever experienced the fierce argument before a successful proposal was created? Have you ever faced a situation of brainstorm?(最后这个为了和前面更好的排比还是加上一些修饰加长句子吧) Actually, all the above situations are common in our daily lives（life?）. And if we work in a group instead of working alone, Criticism, passed from our team members, is playing(plays) a crucial role during(in) our way to success. In my opinion, we should be willing to accept whatever criticism(s?).

With (the help of) criticism, we can avoid more mistakes during work. As we all know that no one is perfect as god in the world, what's more, it is never an easy task to find our own shortages（这句话没有说完啊，应该加上比如so criticisms are really necessary to know our defects and perfect us）. As the old saying goes, lookers-on see more than players, some wrong or incomplete perspectives can only be found and criticize(d) （我觉得可以是pointed）by our colleagues. So why not choosing to accept them ?（最后一句最好是个陈述句来总结强调下论点）

Moreover, a successful team work always call for the criticism, which can create various ideas to solve the problems. Every people（everyone是不是好一点？） have （has）their special fields,（不用,比较好吧？）where they peform quite well. For instance, by putting one math professor and one artist in the same group for designing a fashion tower building,they may complement each other effectively from their own field, so that(改成as a result?) the group is able to successfully complete the structure not only solid from the statistic, but also fabulous from an artistical view.

Admittedly, the（没有the） some leaders in the group rarely receive the criticism from their subordinates. However, don't jump to the conclusion that they don't need criticism. Because normal（太chiglish了，改成in general） leaders have more experience, which can help them to make the self-criticism during the group. As far as I know, a lot of leaders also ask for the suggestions, which is, another shape of critism.

Therefore, from what I have discussed above, we may safely come to the conclusion that to become successful in the team work, we need to accept as much criticism as we can.

文章整体有些偏单薄，可以平时多积累些素材，在支持段中写上例子，一个可以充字数，还有会让说理更充分；还有有些地方感觉论证逻辑不是很紧密，注意连词的使用吧；凭自己的感觉改了一些错误，其实也不一定对，一起商量咯~

8.28独立写作

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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