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求指导,作文太烂,拜托大家帮忙改改。。

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楼主
发表于 2013-8-18 10:57:31 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Tpo 21. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I disagree with the view that for success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
First, it’s important to get higher grades during the school time, let me introduce you a story of my fried Sarah to explain this reason. Sarah is a girl that relates well to a lot of people, but she is not interested in what she majors in and always fails in the exams. When it’s time to graduate, she just applied for a lot of companies to find a job, but unfortunately, she didn’t find any job and has been staying at home after graduating for almost one year, why caused that? Because today’s companies are aware of the grades an applicant had in the school and prefer the person with higher grades, Sarah had poor grades and lost the opportunity to get a job not mentioned to be success.
Second, studying hard in school can not only bring you the knowledge you need, but also cultivate your ability of studying and learning new things. A man who studied hard in school can receive the new things quickly and as in a future job, it’s obviously to have such ability, because if someone want to succeed in the job, he/she will face a lot of new challenges and should have the ability to adapt and catch up with the development of the world. So even if a person relate well to people but without the ability of learning, he will fail in the competition of success.
Third, even though it’s important to have the ability to relate well to people, it may sometimes be useless in some kinds of jobs needed a lot of specific knowledge in a certain field, for example, if you want to succeed in the writing software field, you may have few opportunity to relate to people because of the characteristic of the job, instead, what you need most is the software knowledge you learned in the school, and if you didn’t study hard in school, and can’t complete the program perfectly, how can you be successful.
In conclusion, it’s unfair to say the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school for success in a future job, it depends on the kind of job you will take and the different characteristics of jobs need different kinds of abilities.
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沙发
发表于 2013-8-18 12:11:15 | 只看该作者
不比我差
板凳
发表于 2013-8-18 12:46:49 | 只看该作者
我觉得还蛮顺畅的
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-26 21:50:04 | 只看该作者
完全不行啊。。。。1号考试死了。。
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