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[资料] 危险!千万不要抄模版!看哥大毕业生帮助cd用户免费修改托福口试问题

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楼主
发表于 2013-4-23 10:07:28 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
好朋友写的,和大家分享吧!!!

她本科是哥伦比亚大学本科毕业。前一段时间帮助不少同学练习托福口语,发现大家用的模版都差不多,说起“喜欢的书”都是“哈利波特” (内容也惊人地相似呵呵)。 很多用词也很chinglish (哪怕是模版)。比方说最近看到的一个模版是这样的:

问题: 你是愿意当leader还是当follower
Of course, I would like to be the leader for the following reasons. Firstly, to be a leader definitely improves my various abilities, such as communication, organization, leadership and handling ability. These are essential to lead a team with many complex troubles. And second, in college, I always as a leader of various student unions and student associations. So I do not like to be regulated by others, the only way to get rid of this status is to be the leader and regulate others myself.
Frankly speaking, although to be a leader is a hard work, it will has a great influence on the future career.

点评
Of course (这个听起来很obnoxious,自以为是), I would like to be the leader “a leader”, 不是 “the leader”for the following reasons. Firstly ("first", 不是“firstly"), to be a leader definitely (不要总用definitely,比较自以为是) improves my various abilities (这个语句不通), such as communication, organization, leadership and handling ability (“handling ability" 完全不通). These are essential to lead a team with many complex troubles ("complex troubles" 完全不通). And second, in college, I always as a leader of various student unions and student associations. So I do not like to be regulated by others (没有“be regulated by others”的说法,一般都是一个事情或事务可以被”regulated“,人职能被”controlled”), the only way to get rid of this status (“get rid of this status"不通,而且get rid of 是个很重的词。感觉作者非常非常鄙视劳动人民,这一点在美国是很不好的大家要记住了,其实美国人说话比较喜欢保持对各个阶层人的尊重,哪怕是在表面上的,表露出鄙夷也是很不好的)is to be the leader and regulate others myself.
Frankly speaking (“frankly speaking” 的比较正确的中文翻译是“我就老实跟你说吧”,在这片段落里接得比较顺得是:“谁想当个蚂蚁给人捏啊”, 语气不是很和谐) although to be a leader is a hard work, it will has a great influence on the ("my",不是“the” )future career.

我觉得比较顺的说法(按照本模版原意,但是语气更尊重人一些,没有那么匪气):
I would like to be a leader more than a follower. Mainly there are two reasons for that:

First, being a leader gives me abundant opportunities for personal growth in different areas, such as communication skills, organizational skills, and problem solving skills. These skills are essential to whatever goals I pursue in the future. Second, I have always been active in taking leadership roles in my school. I was an active member in student council, and various student clubs. I guess naturally I like to speak up in a group, and guide team members to make collaborative decisions, so naturally I always emerge as a leader amongst my peers. Although being a leader requires a lot of hard work, I think it's totally worth it because I can make positive impact on other people.

总结
大家讲中文的时候也有这种感觉吧,同样的意思,不同的说法,会很不一样。来到美国的同学可能都知道,经常说一些什么话,意思是好的,但是说出来了觉得完全不代表自己的本意。比方说,在刚才的模版上,作者说的第二点和总结,让人觉得他是个狂妄的暴君,自我感觉及其良好,而且还很没有修养地鄙视其他的人。最重要的是,美国人心中的“leadership”和中国不一样,不是高高在上地发话然后管别人,而是怎样带领团队,解决问题。所以说到leader,其实不一定是坐在一个位子上,很可能是生活中的“领导”,做一些小事,做一些好的决定。


写这个文章的朋友说原意免费帮助还在准备托福的朋友。所以可以留下微信号什么的。帮助大家改个2、3个托福口语问题应该是没有问题的,先来的有优势,因为她时间有限。





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沙发
发表于 2013-4-23 10:23:11 | 只看该作者
谢谢分享
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2013-4-23 10:38:19 | 只看该作者
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