ISSUE求指点，感觉自己写的有很大问题，不知道这样行不行，请大家不要留情，先谢过了。。。

杨姝云 · 发表于 2012-12-23 14:02:57

题目：

The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining thewell-being of that country's citizens.

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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree ordisagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position youtake. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways inwhich the statement might or might not hold true and explain how theseconsiderations shape your position.

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The author avers that examining the welfare of citizens is the best way tomeasure the effectiveness of leaders in a country. From my point of view, I totallyconcur with the author. First of all, I agree with a point that the ultimategoal of a good government is no doubt to make denizens feeling safe and livinghappily. To let them feeling good, a government has a list of things to do.Generally speaking, in the physical level, governments must have the ability tomeet our demand in daily life, which includes basic items for living as well assome typical medical equipment. Additionally, the freedom for a citizen tospeak and express what he wants to say, which can be recognized as thingsrequired in mental level, is another thing that a good government has to allow.I do insist that if these three things are guaranteed by a government, acountry can be said to be prosper and the leaders of the country will bepraised.

As far as I can see what is in the basic living level, items needed for abasic living have to be served to people in a country. Those basic items,including clothes, food, houses, vehicles and also medical equipment, are thethings will give citizens beliefs in safety, and then a country has thefundamental conditions of being prosper. By this point, people will notworrying about bread and wine every day, and they can be properly treated ifthey have some diseases, so they can work and do things that they like to doheart and soul. Equipped with such living facilities, a country can be saidpromising and we can say that the leaders of the country are at the half way ofbeing praised as successful.

As for another physical aspect, education is needed in a country. A goodeducation system will make people in that country virtuous and have goodmorality. An ordered and well-functioning society needs some traditions andnorms. Things like treating parents with honor, always behaving properly andbeing hard-working and so forth are those can keep a society organized. Theycan prevent people being evil and committing crimes as well as keep the countryfunctioning well. In other words, if leaders of a country are effective enough,they have to deal with issues about education. At least each child in thatcountry has the same opportunity to attend a normal school and accept eveneducation. And this is also an aspect of people's well-being.

In the spiritual sense, freedom of speech and expression is the mostimportant issue in one country for examining the well-being. As we all know,speaking is a basic function of a human, and as a consequence, freedom ofspeech is the best measure of human rights and democracy. Considering a countrylike North Korea, people there are under much political repression and they arealso deprived of freedom of speech and expression. This is way we always saythat North Korean government is one of the worst government in the world andnobody will say the leaders of North Korea are effective.

To sum up, if leaders in one country can guarantee all the three thingsabove, which can be concluded by well-being, no matter denizens in that countryor foreigners will no doubt be sure that this country is utopian and thegovernment of it is effective.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-12-24 09:43:07

The author avers that examining the welfareof citizens is the best way to measure the effectiveness of leaders in acountry. From my point of view, I totally concur with the author. First of all,I agree with a point that the ultimate goal of a good government is no doubt tomake denizens feel safe and living happily. To let them feel good, a government has a list of things todo. Generally speaking, in the physical level（物质水平？可不是这么说的）, governments must have the ability to meetour demand in daily life, which includes basic items for living as well as some typical medicalequipment（？）. Additionally, the freedom for a citizen to speak and express what hewants to say, which can be recognized as things required in mental level, isanother thing that a good government has to allow. I do insist that if these three things（没见着three things） are guaranteed by a government, a countrycan be said to be prosper and the leaders of the country will be praised.有些表达过于随意了点，写了最好能自己好好读一下，是否地道，意思是否很容易读懂.另外民众福利是否应该包括言论自由值得商榷

As far as I can see what is in the basic living level, itemsneeded for a basic living ？？have to be served to people in a country. Those basic items, includingclothes, food, houses, vehicles and also medical equipment, are the things will give citizens beliefs in safety. ? and then a country has thefundamental conditions of being prosper. In this point, people will not worry about bread and wine （圣餐？）every day, and they can be properly treated if they have some diseases, sothey can work and do things that they like to do heart and soul. Equipped withsuch living facilities, a country can be said promising and we can say that theleaders of the country are at the half way of being praised as successful.

As for another physical aspect, education isneeded in a country. A good education system will make people in that countryvirtuous and have good morality. An ordered and well-functioning society needs some traditions and norms. Things like treating parents withhonor, always behaving properly and being hard-working and so forth are thosecan keep a society organized. They can prevent people being evil and committingcrimes as well as keep the country functioning well. In other words, if leadersof a country are effective enough, they have to deal with issues abouteducation. At least each child in that country has the same opportunity toattend a normal school and accept even education. And this is also an aspect of people'swell-being.

In the spiritual sense, freedom of speech andexpression is the most important issue in one country for examining thewell-being. As we all know, speaking is a basic function of a human, and as aconsequence, freedom of speech is the best measure of human rights anddemocracy. Considering a country like North Korea

, people there are undermuch political repression and they are also deprived of freedom of speech andexpression. This is way we always say that North Korean government is one ofthe worst government in the world and nobody will say the leaders of NorthKorea are effective.

To sum up, if leaders in one country canguarantee all the three things above, which can be concluded by well-being, nomatter denizens in that country or foreigners will no doubt be sure that thiscountry is utopian and the government of it is effective.

题目中不只是说民众福利是判断领导人能力的手段，还需要说的是它是最好的手段，这涉及到一个比较的问题，如果没有比较可以认为你的文章只写了一半

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-12-24 09:54:14

蓝色部分是觉得表述有问题的，加油

杨姝云 · 发表于 2012-12-25 02:41:19

嗯。。。我再多读读范文，然后再继续写，谢谢

[issue] ISSUE求指点，感觉自己写的有很大问题，不知道这样行不行，请大家不要留情，先谢过了。。。

所属分类: GRE考试

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