简历求批改

黄宋菠菜 · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:12:46

这个是本人的简历，希望大家帮我改一改，用于申请学校，谢谢大家的意见！

Personal Resume

Personal Information

Name: Shawn HUANGSex: MaleDate of Birth：
Mobile Phone：0086 15XXXXXXE-mail：(在) gmail.com ">XXXXXXX(在) gmail.com (在) gmail.com
Address：Room XX, Building X, XXX Rd., XX District, Shanghai, China
Education Background
Degree: 2009.9-Shanghai University (SHU)Bachelor of Business Administration
2011. 9- University of Technology, Sydney (UTS)Bachelor of Management
GPA:3. 69/4.0 (Top1% of Institute, 1/74 of Business Administration major)
Core Courses: Advanced Mathematics, Linear Algebra，Business Statistics, Economics, Accounting, Financial Management, Financial Market, Marketing, Logistics，Management Consulting, Global Strategic Management etc.
Work Experiences

2012.06-.08HSBCRetail Banking and Wealth Management Assistant
Audited the documents necessary to open or upgrade accounts in HK&TW, coordinated with many regional relationship manager in HSBC CN and HSBC HK to improve satisfaction of clients, finally opened or upgraded about 1000 cases

2012.03-.06ZF Friedrichshafen AGPurchasing DepartmentBuyer
Created purchasing orders and payment application sheets with SAP system, achieved roughly $150K purchase volume;
forecasted financial budget for next fiscal month; assisted Dept. director to prepare internal training materials
2011.12-Entrepreneurship Project (University Discount Card)Director

As the founder and leader, made the business plan, scheduled the project and divided the labor according to each member’s strength, built partnership with 10 retailers to provide local students with discount service and profited $500 in first month

2011.09-2012.09Shanghai University Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC) Tutor
Assisted Finance& Economics Professor Andrew Parkes (PHD) to do some research, helped grade homework and test papers
2009.09-2010.06Shanghai University SILC Youth League Committee Vice Director

Managed the office and dealt with daily affairs like making events schedule, booking a classroom and classifying documents
2009.09-2010.06Shanghai University SILC Students Union Arts Department Operator

Organized various campus activities, including Welcome Party for the freshmen, New Year Party, Academic Sessions etc.
Social Practices

2012.08As the participant and leader of International Business and Management Program, visited many prestigious universities in UK and explored some academic problems with local professors and students
2011.07As the leader of International Summer School of SHU, planed activities like Farewell Party, and discussed some academic problems with 23 international students from more than 10 countries
2011.01As the volunteer of Mercedes Benzes 125 Anniversary Meeting, arranged the venue and served VIP clients
2010.07-0.8As the volunteer of Shanghai World Expo, provided tourists with consulting service
2010.04As the volunteer of Shanghai Formula 1 Grand Prix, calculated the number of buses and tourists
Awards & Honors

2011.11The Top Scholarship of Shanghai University
2011.04The Top 20 of Venture Contest organized by School of Management, Fudan University
2010.12The Second Place of the Debate Competition of Shanghai University
2010.11The Top Scholarship of Shanghai University
2010.11The Forth Place of the Basketball Competition of Shanghai University
2010.07The Daily Star Award of Shanghai World EXPO
2010.05The Second Place of the Orienteering of Shanghai University
2009.12The First Place of Team Badminton Match in the QI Yu Qi Ping Cup organized by Shanghai University
2009.12The Best Team Award in Business Challenge Competition of Shanghai University
2009.10The Top 10 singers of Shanghai University
2009.09The Fifth Place of the Medley Relay Swimming Competition of Shanghai University
Professional Skills

Language：TOEFL: 108/120IELTS：7/9GMAT: 710/800CET-6：625/710CET-4 ：631/710
IT：Master user of Office Word, Excel, PowerPoint & Junior user of Visual Basic and SAP；

dreamistrue · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:19:04

我觉得CET4和6可以去掉。TG就够了。我简历里没写core courses。

selinasw · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:24:24

这么多一页纸塞得下？？

bb1447 · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:28:00

奖可以去掉吧。。不然一页写不下了。。。

Karmalot · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:32:54

乍一看，问题太多，初步意见：
1. 千万不要用"

ersonal Resume"做抬头，抬头只写名字
2. 去掉“Personal Information”，在名字下面一行写手机+邮箱，一行写地址，手机号去掉“00“，86后面加一个hyphen，然后手机号按照3-4-4或者4-3-4分开比较好，可以再加上邮编
3. 不要写"Degree"，学校简写可以去掉，已经结束的学历（比如交换）写起止日期，没结束的写Expected 201X就好
4. GPA写3.7/4.0吧，位数统一；课程去掉"etc."
5. "Social Practice"改成"Leadership/Activities"比较好；5条太多，留两条最重要且内容不重复的就好，不要以”As”开头，直接在活动名称后面写职位，然后下面以动词开头写内容
6. Awards这栏都删掉吧，选一两个最重要的放到Education里
7. 雅思7就不用写了，4、6级我觉得意义不大，老外也不看
8. 最多最多写MS Office，不要把word excel ppt全列出来

最好做成PDF出来看看格式

work exp没仔细看，这块其实是主要要写的

如果是第一版的话还好，可以继续不断修改

如风随行 · 发表于 2012-9-4 22:52:21

A4 一页装不下吧

chasingnow · 发表于 2012-9-5 00:36:45

一张纸放不下。。。

黄宋菠菜 · 发表于 2012-9-5 00:41:55

有道理，外国人是看不懂。。

黄宋菠菜 · 发表于 2012-9-5 00:42:29

还真放的下，不管很丰满。。。

黄宋菠菜 · 发表于 2012-9-5 00:43:13

奖去掉好吗？。。。。觉得奖不是用来show off的嘛。。。

简历求批改

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