AI36我的第一篇作文，麻烦大家帮看看啊～

我的第一篇作文，写了40分钟，还有18天就考了，麻烦大家帮我改改，多多批评，指教，谢谢

36. “Businesses and other organizations have overemphasized the importance of working as a team. Clearly, in any human group, it is the strong individual, the person with the most commitment and energy, who gets things done.”

The issue of whether the importance of working as a team is greater than that of working alone is a complex and controversial one. As is well-known and has often been advocated, the strength of a team is greater than that of an individual; On the other hand, others probably insist that it is the strong individual who gets things done. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring the former one and refuting the latter one.

In the first place, the important reason that can be presented to develop my position is that the energy of an individual is, to some extent, limited. A good example may be found in the case that the successful run of a company. As we all know that, in the most cases, if one wants to run a company, he will need to get many people to form a team to fulfill as much task as possible. So a company may be divided into different departments to function various works, such as Marketing, Production, Finance, and so forth. Although there are some person with the most commitment and energy, under this the circumstance talked above, it is obvious that it is impossible for the strong individual to perform all of the works. As a result, businesses and other organizations have emphasized the crucial roles a team plays.

In addition, there is another reason for me to consider the latter statement to be wrong. The reason is not far to seek: in a team, we can create more good ideas than an individual can. There is an old Chinese saying that:" the wisdom of three common people is greater than that of a cleaver one." To illustrate, we all know that there is no two leaves which is in the same condition, so does the backgrounds of the different people. Since differing in their backgrounds, different people may have different ideas towards the same thing. Consequently, the more people involved in a team, the more ideas we will have, which is the power of a team that of an individual could not compare with.

Admittedly, there is no denying that an individual could finish a work by himself in some conditions. As we know, a lot of artistic works have been done by the individual with strong commitment and energy. However, this alone does not constitute a sufficient support to that in any human group, the strong individual could fulfill all the works.

Consequently, I advocate that the emphasis of the importance of working as a team, because the energy of an individual is limited and the people in a team could give more ideas to a case that an individual does. Due to the above-mentioned reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we may safely arrive at the conclusion I support.

It should be Ok.

不过可以再稍微修改一下魔板, 用词多变一些, 尤其是连词。比如consequently用了两次，可以用therefore, accordingly, thus, so等其他词代替.

还有18天应该时间足够, mm可以在此基础上把魔板准备的更充分一些.

谢谢rhodGG，我会继续努力的。