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[作文互改] 第一篇ISUUE,,求拍...狠拍...

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-7 22:23:55 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
issue 20
Some people believe that college students   should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field ofstudy. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a fieldof study on the availability of jobs in the field.  
Regardlessof areas, regardless of background, one have to make several crucial choices inone’s life inevitably which may exert great impact on a coming few years even allwhole life. Undoubtedly, going to a college and choosing what to learn is sucha turn point for most young people to face. Consequently, there rises a hot debate:whether interest or prospect of job is the ? determinant. Just like the weightson the each pans of the balance, as far as I am concerned, the ignorance of eitherof the two facts will lead to a unsound decision and anyone who do so, will paya heavy price.

Kirschner, Sweller and Clark describe inquiry-based method of instruction as “unguided instruction”. This can beunderstood that learners would be driven by their interest to investigate what excitesthem without any force from without. History is rifle with evidence todemonstrate this point. Thomas Edison, one of the greatest inventor in humanhistory, left the later people thousands of inventions. It is his interest inexploring unknown world that make his life so splendid, our world so glorious. Thusit is reasonable to regard interest as an indispensable elements in one’s wayto triumph/achievement.


Similarly, talents is catalyst for success.Although I accept the claim that effort is the key to success, it doesn't meanthat talents make no difference to one's career. Einstein is the best example,whose relativity theory shake the whole world when it was put forward. Untilnow, his brain is a hot research issue for many medical scientists. Thus, wecould not deny that it is amazing talents in physical helped him stand in thepeak of the science. In brief, interest and talents play a rather crucial rolein success, and one can't afford to belittle them when consider choosing amajor.

Nonetheless, it is a risky practice to consider talents and interest asthe only factor when selecting a field of study. If insistence to one’sinterest is an act to pursue one’s dream, a steady job is a responsibilityimposed by reality, from which no one are able to escape. After all, as ahuman, the first problem face us is to survive. That means we need food to eat;we need house to shelter, we need cloth to keep out the cold. All of these inmodern society need money to buy. So most of us, if not all, need a steady evena well-paid job to satisfy our basic needs. In conclusion, it is unrealisticfor one to plan his or her life without considering the future job.

In the similar way, the availability of future job should be but not only significant factor when making decision. Collegestudents who considers their choice only based on the chances of future jobsmay also lose their life. Even though they can get a well-paid job, they wouldhardly be happy in that what they do is not what they like. In this respect,they are no better than those who pursuit their dreams wholeheartedly whilelead a miserable life.

When making the choice of what field shouldbe chose for study, those who turning blind to the prospect of the jobs,consider only their own talents and interest is naive and those who only basethe availability of jobs in that field is superficial. None of them could savorthe truly happy life. Only weighing the interest combined with the future jobs,a student would have a better chance to enjoy his or her study life and career.


第一次写,,修改过一遍...用时就不说了..
主要是想让大牛帮我看看结构方面的问题..写作的方向.
总觉的写平衡观点...很难写到平衡.
这个题里还有一个疑问...
interest and talents
是当做一个方面写就好..还是像我那样分开.两部分..?
求指导,,万分感谢!!
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-7 22:32:28 | 只看该作者
应该合起来写,不然就很难组织和平衡
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-7 22:43:31 | 只看该作者
可是我觉得这两个方面好像还是不太一样的...在其他方面,,,普渡哥能给些评价么..
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-7 23:09:08 | 只看该作者
应该合起来写,不然就很难组织和平衡
-- by 会员 普渡哥 (2012/3/7 22:32:28)

还有一个问题....
新g 里面有各种不同的问法..
各种对应的写法区别大么...
关于这点,,让我下笔很犹豫啊..
5#
发表于 2012-3-7 23:43:55 | 只看该作者
应该合起来写,不然就很难组织和平衡
-- by 会员 普渡哥 (2012/3/7 22:32:28)


还有一个问题....
新g 里面有各种不同的问法..
各种对应的写法区别大么...
关于这点,,让我下笔很犹豫啊..
-- by 会员 nobody1112 (2012/3/7 23:09:08)

建议看本区的作的instruction解读
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-8 00:34:57 | 只看该作者
应该合起来写,不然就很难组织和平衡
-- by 会员 普渡哥 (2012/3/7 22:32:28)



还有一个问题....
新g 里面有各种不同的问法..
各种对应的写法区别大么...
关于这点,,让我下笔很犹豫啊..
-- by 会员 nobody1112 (2012/3/7 23:09:08)


建议看本区的作的instruction解读
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/7 23:43:55)



恩,看到argument的了...没看到issue的...
版主们能不能再给我的文章来点点评..
7#
发表于 2012-3-8 17:16:38 | 只看该作者
1.Regardlessof areas, regardless of background,为什么不合在一起呢,AW可不是写诗歌哦
2.这篇整体看起来吧,跟很多人的第一篇Issue一样,比较随意,跟写语文作文差不多。
AW的I,是有很明确的结构上和逻辑上的要求。第一段,不要说别人怎么说,要写自己的立场和对题目的理解,并有提纲挈领的主题句。从第一段要能看出你的立场、对题目的理解以及下文会怎么写。
后面的展开论证要跟第一段的主题句保持呼应,逻辑上要严密,不能随意。写之前最好能写英文提纲。其实考试的时候,很多人先写好英文提纲,再往里面填充内容,就完了。
3.刚开始练习,多注意下语言表达,精炼到位、准确多变,最好能这样
继续加油!
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-8 23:13:03 | 只看该作者
1.Regardlessof areas, regardless of background,为什么不合在一起呢,AW可不是写诗歌哦
2.这篇整体看起来吧,跟很多人的第一篇Issue一样,比较随意,跟写语文作文差不多。
AW的I,是有很明确的结构上和逻辑上的要求。第一段,不要说别人怎么说,要写自己的立场和对题目的理解,并有提纲挈领的主题句。从第一段要能看出你的立场、对题目的理解以及下文会怎么写。
后面的展开论证要跟第一段的主题句保持呼应,逻辑上要严密,不能随意。写之前最好能写英文提纲。其实考试的时候,很多人先写好英文提纲,再往里面填充内容,就完了。
3.刚开始练习,多注意下语言表达,精炼到位、准确多变,最好能这样
继续加油!
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/8 17:16:38)

谢谢!
我会注意的,继续努力..
希望下次能够再得到你的指导!
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