AA092 第一次写作文求指教

davidpan86 · 发表于 2011-7-6 00:07:32

由于是第一次写作文，大概用了一小时。希望大家指出我的不足，谢谢。
“Over the past decade, the price per pound of citrus fruit has increased substantially. Eleven years ago, Megamart charged 5 cents apiece for lemons, but today it commonly charges over 30 cents apiece. In only one of these last eleven years was the weather unfavorable for growing citrus crops. Evidently, then, citrus growers have been responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit, and strict pricing regulations are needed to prevent them from continuing to inflate prices.”

In this argument the author claims that citrus growers should be responsible for the excessive increase in the price of citrus fruit. The evidence for this allegation is the fact that the price of lemons has increased from 5 cents apiece to over 30 cents apiece during the eleven-year period. However, only one of the eleven years was the weather unfavorable for growing citrus crops. So the author suggests that strict pricing regulations are needed to prevent the growers from continuing to inflate prices. Nonetheless, in my opinion, the argument is flawed for three reasons.

In the first place, the author assumes the weather is the only factor which can influence the price. Actually, the costs of seeds, agricultural chemicals and transportation can be the reason for the increasing price. Moreover, the increase can attribute to the rising costs of labor and energy. To make the conclusion logically acceptable, the author would have to rule out these factors.

In the second place, the author mentions the increasing price of lemon in the argument to support his conclusion. As lemon is only a kind of citrus fruit, we can not conclude that the prices of all kinds of citrus fruit have increased. Maybe the prices of other kinds have decreased during the last eleven years. So the author should introduce the prices change of other kinds of citrus fruit over the past eleven years to make the argument convinced.

In the third place, the author fails to describe the economic situation in the past eleven years. If the inflation began eleven years ago, the prices level has been rising during the past eleven years. As a result, the growers have to increase the price of citrus fruit in order to afford more expensive lives. In this background, the strict pricing regulations will bring more problems. A more overall project should be put forward to control the inflation.

In conclusion, the author’s argument is unconvincing. To strengthen the argument, the author would have to provide more evidence to explain the flaws mentioned above. If not, strict pricing regulations to prevent the growers from continuing to inflate prices are unnecessary.

AA092 第一次写作文求指教

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